Should i let oversensitive DS1 go to school Halloween party?

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

Not really primary education as such but said party is on school premises and organised by PTA (except they are calling it Magic Night", I assume to be politically correct! )

DS1 has very happily settled into Reception and wants to go to this Halloween party on Thursday evening in school. The PTA letter is worded "fancy dress if they wish - most opt to dress up as witches/ghosties/fairies/monsters".

He HATES dressing up anyway (unless it's his train driver's oufit), is totally adamant he would not dress up in any Halloween-y type outfit. He would not even come NEAR a display of wizard hats in a shop yesterday. For the past week he has been aware of Halloween approaching and is asking all sorts of questions at bedtime eg are monsters real, will I have a scary dream etc etc. He just doesn't get the "fun factor" of Halloween at all, and has a very overactive imagination.

He is adamant he wants to go to this bloody thing, but to not dress up. Now, do I let him go or will he a) be having nightmares for weeks, and b)get laughed at by the older kids by not being in any costume (or in his train driver's one if he insists on that)

We've never really "done" Halloween at home because of this, just made a jack o'lantern and gave sweets to kids who came trick or treating to the door. (thinking about it, he's not been too scared by kids dressed up when they are stood at our front door in the past but then I've been there to explain it all and reassure him).

What do I do?

I think if he wants to go, and to not dress up, or wear his train drivers outfit, then I'd go along with it. I don't see any reason for it giving him nightmares - more likely to allay any fears when he sees that it's just children from school dressing up and not something "real". And I doubt that older children would laugh at him - many of them were probably similar when they were younger anyway.

Oh i've been there with this one.
Ds hated dressing up in general..although yes would also have gone anywhere as a train driver
Ghost train? ( i contemplated this one) would he go as that? you only need a front bit of cardboard of a train with some cardboard ghosts attached to the side
Cat?..for some reason because ds loved cats, he would dress up as a cat
tbh though...he may find it rather scary if he is oversensitive.Will you be with him? I'm thinking of the noise and the decorations.
Hope he enjoys it if he goes anyway

Well, I spoke to him about it tonight and he is insistent on going, and not dressing up at all. I asked him would he remember that it's just the other kids dressing up and nothing really scary and he said he knew that. So I was starting to think like you, AMumInScotland......

until......

he wanted me to put a temporary tattoo on (he'd got a couple in a party bag) and then he said he'd like to try one on his arm (he normally refuses to have his face painted or anything like that). So I put it on in arm, pulled off the backing and revealed a lovely puppy (!), and he promptly went very pale, gave a little whimper and said "I'm very tired!" and his legs buckled underneath him!!! WTF is that all about? It's like he's got some fear of being "changed" in some way, be it fancy dress, face paints, temporary tattoos. I had to get the tattoo off immediately and after a few minutes lie down () he was fine.

He's a lovely, lovely little boy, not a wimp in some ways (he loves things like massive big slides in soft play places, and scary (to me) fairground rides). But I just don't get the oversensitivity to costumes/facepaints etc.

Troutpout, good costume ideas, but he's adamant he's not dressing up. I think I'll let him go. No, I won't be with him as got DS2 to look after. His little girlfriend will be going so hopefully he'll be ok. And as DH is working away that night he's in my bed as per our usual arrangement (he sees it as a treat, poor boy!) So at least I'll be physically next to him that night if he DOES wake up having nightmares!

I wouldn't send him-go and do something special on your own as a treat. He won't be the only one to miss it.

Just read this thread - how did you your ds get on at his halloween party.

My ds was terrified of Halloween last year - he would not even walk past the part of the shop where they were selling costumes.

This year he was totaly different - he dressed up as a skeleton, he went to a halloween night at an adventure park, and didn't hide in the shops! What a difference a year makes. (He is now in Year1).

Hellion, he went to the party, and actually was quite enthusiastic about wearing a little cape from Tesco that I'd bought. I'm glad he agreed to that at least, as all the other kids I saw were done up in the works - outfit, facepaints, accessories etc! He would have felt the odd one out in his normal clothes I think. He had a good time and wasn't scared by the other kids' costumes (according to another mum who was helping out all evening).

He said he had a good time, and enjoyed giving out treats at the door to our local trick or treaters, but there HAS been quite a bit of worry at bedtime over whether dreams are real, and has been a bit upset that when he shuts his eyes he "can't get it to turn off" (an image of whatever's scary to him - yesterday it was Spongebob cos he'd seen a film with a part that he didn't like!).

So the overactive imagination still there, but at least he went to the party and enjoyed it! Hopefully next year he'll be like your LO!

Desperately - we've tried that, but the image that's scaring him "comes back"!

Have you come across this? May be of interest with respect to your DS.

CountryPumpkin - have you read that book yourself and found it useful? It looks like it might apply to my son, so could be worth a read. Thanks!