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I'm so pleased to see that nobody has started a hysterical 'they're teaching my 5yr old about sex' thread

59 replies

myredcardigan · 23/10/2008 18:27

That's it really.
I saw the news and groaned thinking MN would have 200 posts from parents whipped into a frenzy by inaccurate media representation.

Glad to see that most parents on here understand that it's the 'relationship' part of sex & relationship education that we teach to young children.
1)Interaction with peers
2)Family dynamics and relationships with parents and siblings.
3)People who help us.

As they move through primary school they look at
1)Body part and their functions
2)Keeping healthy
3)Keeping clean

Then when its more age appropriate

2)Sex and masturbation (last term of Y6)

This is all very age appropriate and sex is taught as being within the context of a loving,secure adult relationship. The concept of casual sex is covered later at secondary school.
Importantly, they learn that with these 'rights' come responsibilities.

Also, respect (for themselves and each other) is at the very core of the entire programme.

OP posts:
pagwatch · 23/10/2008 18:29


No no no no no no nooooooooo !

Thats it. I am going to home ed until they are 52.

( was that the kind of thing you wanted?)
Bluebutterfly · 23/10/2008 18:32

Personally think that it is great. I know that there are always a group who think that it is corrupting, or that it takes a "personal parenting decision" away from parents, but I personally feel that the best way to ensure that ALL children get good consistent information at an appropriate level and age.

I remember talking about sex and relationship related stuff with other children in my class at primary school and the misinformation that we fed one another was astounding.

myredcardigan · 23/10/2008 18:34

Not wanted,just expected.
Glad to see it's just you though,Pagwatch

I've tempted fate now, haven't I?

OP posts:
pagwatch · 23/10/2008 18:36

I remember my friend telling me that she was a test tube baby.
She lived with her gran who was ashamed that her mum was a single mother .
This was in about 1976
She told everyone. And then Louise Brown was born
poor wee girl

pagwatch · 23/10/2008 18:36

Can't talk. Too busy handing out pitchforks....

nappyaddict · 23/10/2008 18:37

see i am actually disappointed it's only the relationship part of sex.

i really do think that by the end of year 1 they should have learnt about menstruation. and i would prefer the sex and masturbation to be in year 3 than year 6.

edam · 23/10/2008 18:40

that's a sad story, pagwatch.

I'm all in favour of teaching children about human biology and relationships - my mother had me drawing diagrams of the reproductive system before I even went to school!

Mystified by the sort of people who go on about protecting 'innocence' - I don't see that childhood innocence = ignorance of how babies are made.

MerlinsBeard · 23/10/2008 18:40

how old are your children NA?

DO you really think the majority of Y1 children would cope with the periods talk?? some of them have just turned 5 literally days before the school year starts

Peachy · 23/10/2008 18:41

i'm with a
i've been open since day 1 why on earth not? ot an issue then is it? my mum was the same- I don't remember not knowing

whereas dh's mum still hasn't told him

(d'ya think he knows why we have 4 kids? )

pagwatch · 23/10/2008 18:44

My DD knows about periods. She is just six and finds it really really interesting

" can we talk about the period thing again mum". Odd child

I didn't know about periods when I had mine. Horrible and humiliating as I started at school.
My mum had told my three sisters and just hadn't remembered with me.

We just talk about stuff as it comes up and when she asks questions

myredcardigan · 23/10/2008 18:45

Well, NA you are of course free to talk to your children before then. Certainly I answer all questions truthfully and DS (5) knows where babies come from. However he has no concept of menstruation as currently that is outside his sphere of reality so there has been no need. If a child asks, or is curious, tell them.

OP posts:
SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 23/10/2008 18:46

My dd knows about periods. Not all the technical stuff but she knows that women have periods when they grow up and that they bleed. Thats what happens when you have no lock on the bathroom door.

She seems to have always known. I told her pretty much the truth when she asked how dd2 got into mummys tummy. I don't believe in confusing children with all this babble about seeds and flowers etc. She is 5 and doesnt appear damaged in anyway.

I think being more open with children about sex will make it seem less taboo and one of those things you should do to keep up with your mates and piss off your parents.

myredcardigan · 23/10/2008 18:47

I think Y4 (age 8/9) is a reasonable timeto teach about periods. It is taught to both the boys and the girls then although the girls do have a girls only session to enable them to ask questions they wouldn't in front of the boys.
If my daughter was well developed or I had started early, I would give the talk earlier. As it is I'll probably give it to DD age about 6 or 7.

OP posts:
nappyaddict · 23/10/2008 18:51

i know girls who have started in Y2 so yes i think it perfectly sensible and responsible to tell them before that age so they know what the fuck is going on and they aren't dying in a bloodbath - which is the hysterical reaction a 6 year old girl might have if she started her period in the y2 toilets at school and had not previously been warned what it was.

myredcardigan · 23/10/2008 18:51

I agree, Shesells!

Ignorance is what leads to teenage pregnancy rates not education.

And, if I'm honest, poverty and poverty of aspiration too!

OP posts:
myredcardigan · 23/10/2008 18:53

That is very very rare though NA.

I've been teaching sex-ed for about 12years and the youngest I've come across was 9yrs and only 2 of those.

OP posts:
nappyaddict · 23/10/2008 19:07

Rare yes but still not very nice if they don't know anything about it. If it were my dd i would rather she knew about it on the very small chance it could happen to her than wait and have her be petrified if it happened.

myredcardigan · 23/10/2008 20:06

I'd be interested in the stats as to me, 9yrs is rare, but a 6yr old shocks me.

I guess it's something I should find out about because if it is all pushing that far forward, I need to revise my programme.

My opinion as things stand is that Y1 pupils would not have the maturity levels to cope with being taught about menstruation.
-That's not to say they can't handle discussing it in a calm, matter of fact way with their mother if they ask a question. Just that formal teaching of the subject is inappropriate at that age. Teaching them about their body parts and how to keep clean and healthy is not.

OP posts:
clayrethechildslayre · 23/10/2008 20:09

if its anything like trying to teach my 5 year old dd her phonic letters she'll come out of it none the wiser

maretta · 23/10/2008 20:09

OMG Poor Pagwatch and your mother forgetting which daughters she's had the chat with1!

maretta · 23/10/2008 20:12

I don't think we live in a society where true ignorance is even a possibility.
It's semi-ignorance that is the problem and there's plenty of that around. Better education is definitely required.

scorpio1 · 23/10/2008 20:13

This story in the news has been annoying me all day.

We are a very open house WRT these things - i have had a baby 6 months ago which prompted fun questions from elder dc (6 & 3)

However, my dss is nearly 7 and his Mother told him that a doctor put dd in my tummy and she would come out my bellybutton . i disagree so much with stories like that - no mention of a father, love, bodily fuctions...

My dss's know a small amount about periods - egg coming away when it doesnt get used every month...Also about how the sperm gets in there etc..

We havent talked baout masturbation yet and they havent asked why people have sex - they don't know yet that people do it just for pleasure. DS1 is 6 but dyspraxic so doesnt retain very well, and i feel at 3 that ds2 doesnt need that part yet.

I find it shocking that in 5 or 6 years time my dss could be having sex himself - and not know much at all even about pregnancy and how it happens, let alone the emotional issues.

I was brought up in a very open household too; DH wasn't and he slightly disagrees on my openess...but i am age appropriate and children are so accepting of bodies.

We have not long well 6 months) ago had dd as i said and she will know as soon as she needs to as well.

scorpio1 · 23/10/2008 20:14

And I am a teenage parent - twice over.

I was not at all ignorant - do not tar us all with the same brush.

scorpio1 · 23/10/2008 20:15

or, indeed, in poverty.

ohIdoliketobebesidethe · 23/10/2008 20:20

My 3 yr old knows that women bleed. (No lock on our bathroom door either). She calls my tampons "bleeders". I would much rather she just accepted it as part of life than I had to announce it to her when she reached a certain age.

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