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Anyone else regret not choosing local school?

16 replies

Cantmakedecisions · 09/10/2008 14:59

Sorry-this is a rather pathetic, self indulgent email nut I am feeling SO stupid and ashamed that I need to flip my thoughts positively. Help!

We moved to a lovely town last year just a few months before having to make the shool applicaton for DS (pfb, by theway!)
I agonised over the decision despite the fact that there is school which I can practically see from the house! This is because it's the only one in the town which has suffered a bad repuatuon in the past but it is now consiered to be fairly good and has improved dramatically.

To cut a long story short, we chose to send him to a larger school 0.9 mile away which has always had a pretty good reputation and produces good reults but obviously requires that I often drive. We do walk on some days but at 4 my son struggles to do it twwice a day. Since then I have a had a dd (now 11weeks) and am finding the whole car business a but stressful. I know completely that I only have myself to blame for this but I feel SO guilty for not supporting my local school, that many children in the area go to the local school and completely stupid for making life more complicated than it needs to be! I've got a constant sick feelig in my stomache about it as there's no way i could justify moving him to the local school to ease my conscience. I know I made the worng decision but need to move forward now-help!

Has anyone else regretted their choice of school?

My son is very happy school, by the way!

OP posts:
monkeymonkeymonkey · 09/10/2008 15:03

If you think that the other school is OK then why not move him? Obviously that would be a big upheaval for him, but on the other hand you are looking at commiting yourself, him, and your daughter to the journey for the next ?12 years (by the time your DD finishes primary).

If you think that you made the wrong choice then the fact that it would ease your conscience to change it is no reason not to do it, IMO.

hauntinghippoami · 09/10/2008 16:53

If you can move him, then do

My friend moved her ds half-way through reception after the Christmas break, as a place at her preferred school had come up.
She told her ds that X school is finished now and you are moving on to Y school.
Her ds had been at pre-school for a year before moving to reception so was familiar with the whole 'one type of school is finishing now and you need to move on' concept.
Yes theoretically she fibbed, but he was 4.5 and it made the whole idea of moving on completely normal for him. Particularly as my friend was completely matter of fact about it.

I think if you feel worried about the decision you have made, and the travelling is taking it's toll, then it it not too late to move your ds. He is very very young. Dd had a new girl in her reception class last year, and two new boys in her Y1 class this year already. All have settled within days.

nlondondad · 09/10/2008 17:02

There are HUGE advantages to living really close to the primary school your children are at.

I had that experience.....five minutes walk away or three minutes in a rush.

It makes so many things much easier.

MollieO · 09/10/2008 20:01

I'll let you know in 7 yrs! Depends if you are comparing like with like. For me there was no way I was going to choose my closest school - just coming out of Ofsted special measures. I've ended up going private as I realised, as far as state sector was concerned, it was the local school or no school.

Hulababy · 09/10/2008 20:04

No, not at all. We chose to send DD to a private school which is a good 10 minute drive away. She is now in Y2 and we are still very very happy with our choice. Hasn't affected her social life, after school activities, etc in the slightest.

The nearest school to us is a 20 minutes or so, walk up hill, and due to timings re work we would still be in the car anyway.

muppetgirl · 09/10/2008 20:11

We didn't get into school choice no 1 -0.4 miles away and were 18th on the waiting list
We didn't get into school choice 2 -0.5 miles away and were 6th on the waiting list
We got sink school that we didn't even put on the form 1.2 miles away.

We chose private as we had no choice...

I'm glad to hear that other people still do have choices re their children's schools.

Cantmakedecisions · 09/10/2008 20:22

Thanks for the replies and sorry about my terrible typing errors!! You're right muppetgirl-we were very lucky to have a choice and for that I should be very grateful.

OP posts:
Ineedsomesleep · 09/10/2008 20:25

We have choosen the local school over others in the area that get better results. We chose it because it still is a good school and most of the children around us go so he will have lots of friends close by.

Plonker · 09/10/2008 20:30

I chose local for my dd and ended up moving her to a school over 2 miles away. Both schools have 'outstanding' Ofsteds, both schools have an excellent reputation. The local school just wasn't right for my dd. I moved her to start Y1 in the new school. 'Twas the best decision i have ever made!!

Personally I would leave your son where he is, simply because he is happy. You could move him and him be unhappy. I think the messing before school (and really i think 0.9 miles isn't too far to expect a 4 year old to walk under general circumstances) is worth having a happy child.

Your decision though, and its certainly not too late to move him if you feel that would be best.

Good luck.

sunnydelight · 10/10/2008 08:33

No. We sent DS1 to the local high school when we moved here (Oz)last year and ended up taking him out after 7 weeks; hassle, stress and expense (uniform) we could have done without. We were very keen on the idea of local friends, nearest school, supporting the public system etc. but it just wasn't the right school.

My younger two now go to the primary dept. of the same school (15 mins drive away) even though we have a primary school on our street that we could walk to in a couple of minutes. Yes, there are advantages to being at your local school but it's not everything. If your son is happy where he is I'd say leave him there.

fullmoonfiend · 10/10/2008 08:40

I decided against the local scary 'rough' primary school in favour of a 'favoured' poncey school a mile away.
My friend sent hers to the local school. Which in the last 5 years has improved steadily to the point where it has achieved an Outstanding OFSTED and I now realise (too late as ds is in Yr6) that he would have been much happier there as they work so hard on building children's self-esteem. (my chosen school is now only 'Satisfacotry )

Having said that, if there is nothing you can do about it now, ditch the guilt and revel in te fact that your child is happy at his school.

Smee · 10/10/2008 13:23

if it's less than a mile away you are supporting your local school, + if he's happy, then personally I wouldn't move him. It's brilliant that he likes school, so don't risk losing that as it's far more important than a bit of a longer walk. In reception they get tired anyway, so he'll get loads more stamina as he gets older and think how fit you'll be..!

nolongeraworriedmummy · 10/10/2008 13:33

Just moved dd from terrible very local school to one 1.9 miles away, new school is fantastic and dont regret it one bit, we are doing two buses in a morning (only short journeys though) and dd is so much happier.

For 0.9 miles if your so is happy I wouldnt move him.

Butkin · 10/10/2008 16:27

We drive 15 mins each morning so therefore I'd consider your trip easy! As your children grow up the whole thing will become easier - especially if you can carpool with neighbours/friends.

I'd suggest you should choose on basis of school and how they are getting on rather than a short term commuting issue.

teslagirl · 11/10/2008 20:49

Get a buggy board for the pram! I used to walk DS1 1.2 miles to and from his (not local- couldn't get in, arrived too late from Oz!) school and I attached a buggy board and it did the trick. Hard work for me but I ended up with buns of steel, as they say!

MrsMattie · 11/10/2008 20:52

If your son is happy, I think you should accept that your situation is an inconvenience, but nothing worse than that. 0/9 miles isn't too far - can't be more than a 10 min drive, surely?

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