Advice and popinions on ds (7) please!

[seeker]

I'll start by saying that ds, as a NSB is the most placid, calm reasonable 7 year old I have ever met. He never tantrums, only has minor strops occasionally, and those are invariably connected with football. He will eat practically anything, and is usually really adaptable, except about haircuts! And he is, as far as I know, perfectly well and not tired and happy at school.

Anyway, this morning he left his bag at home. When we got to school I said "Oh well, I'll get a school packed lunch for you" (we have a lunch system where you can sign up and pay on the day for a hot dinner or a packed lunch). To my amazement, ds went into a complete meltdown - crying and really really upset, saying "I don't want a school packed lunch! I just don't"

He couldn't/wouldn't tell me why- he said something about not being able to eat with his friends, but then wouldn't say it again. In the end, because he was so upset I agreed to go and get his lunch, and he went into school, very tear stained and subdued.

Now, what's bothering me is that our school is in the middle of a very deprived area,and has a high percentage of children who receive free school meals. I am wondering whether it's possible that these children get some sort of hard time from the others, and that's why ds reacted the way he did. Is that possible, or is my imagination running away with me? What do you think? Should I tell the teacher about it? Or am I over thinking an uncharacteristic and one off brain-storm?

opinions, obviously. Popinions sounds like a Chart Show.

I wouldn't read anything that deep into it. My son just wouldn't touch the school dinners. He'd rather go hungry for a week.

could it simply be that the children who have school dinners eat somewhere different to those who have packed lunches? Perhaps he doesn't want to be split up from his friends. My dc's school does not do this as they all eat together in their classes, but a lot of schools do.

Your imagination is running away with you. Lots of reasons why he might have been upset but my top choice would be exactly what he said about not being able to eat with his friends. Loads of schools separate children according to what kind of lunch they are eating. Seems very strange to me - why on earth does it matter?

(I mean, why do schools separate children, not questioning your ds!)

Sounds strange. So he normally takes his own packed lunch?

If it was me I'd ask him about it again later but since he would normally be taking in his own lunch which he is, presumably, happy with, hopefully it won't be an issue again.

No, he normally takes his own lunch - and all the packed lunch people- home and school - sit together. On nice days, like today, they all sit at picnic tables outside. So it can't be that. Unless - oh god, more overthinking coming! - the home lunch people banish the school lunch people to different tables!

Maybe when he's not upset tonight he'll be able to tell you more clearly why he didn't want the school packed lunch so much. Could it be that he thought by the time he collected the packed lunch his friends' table would be full?

It would freak me out if my 7 year old did this, I'd want to get to the bottom of it - that's all I know.

Just ask him tonight when he gets home - it'll probably just be something like he doesn't want to stand out and be different.
Don't stress about it till you've found out why he had the metldown!

Did you find anything out seeker?

Worth having a quiet word with teacher; why not?