Encouraging DS to attempt mark making

[verywiseowl]

DS (Reception) struggles to hold a pencil/pen correctly and to make a mark in the way he wants.

His nursery were less than proactive in encouraging him (they had a specific mark making table which he never chose to go to, on the odd times they noticed and encouraged him he made a poor effort and then went off).

We've tried at home to encourage him, we started doing letters but then went to just asking him to follow lines on paper or to trace pictures or follow a maze - problem is that he "knows" that he is not so good at this and just won't try - he'll moan about doing it and deliberately not make a real attempt.

He has to write his name when he goes into school so he can now write "some" of the letters in his name. The other letters he has decided he can't do so he just puts squiggles where they should be. Outside of school he won't write his name at all if I ask (e.g. to sign a birthday card).

I don't know how to get out of this cycle. He's convinced himself he can't do it and/or it will be too hard and just won't try to improve. I'm wary of pushing too much in case I just put him off for life.

Any ideas?

Maybe he is just slower at it. My DS#2 was very slow to start to read and write. He's now in Yr 1 and improving but still behind some of the others. In reception he could hardly hold a pen.

What struck me in your post was 'he knows he is not good at this'. DS used to say 'I can't do that' and refused to try. Don't force, just encourage, give opportunities to try. Can you buy some soap crayons for use in the bath, or some glass pens to write on windows. That's more fun.

What does his teacher say? Is he/she concerned?

Have you tried just asking him to draw in sand or dirt for example - get him used to making marks and slowly ask him to try making the first letter of his name in the sand/dirt and build it up like this?
Also, there's some really great pencil grips on the market - perhaps he may find these useful?
It sounds like it may benefit from going back to basics to build his confidence again though.

It is very early days for mark making and writing names at the beginning of Yr R. My DS2 who is already 5 (in Sept) still can't write his name and is very resistant to trying too. He sounds a lot like your DS actually.

TBH I am letting the school deal with it at the moment. I don't want to be adding to the pressure by doing it at home as well.

At school they work on related things like strengthening hand muscles using pegs or squeezing squishy balls. It might be worth having a word with the teacher and seeing what they do at school so that you could try this at home. It isn't so obviously trying to get him to write but it will still help.

Try not to worry about it too much though - it is very early days.

I agree with Niecie that it's better not to add to the pressure at home, especially if he already seems reluctant. My ds who is 4 1/2 is like yours - he knows when he tries to write most letters they just don't come out right so he says 'I can't do that'. But he doesn't seem bothered that he can't because he doesn't have any pressure put on him, he is just trying it because he wants to. I think in a lot of children that age (and more boys than girls), the hand muscles and the part of the brain that co-ordinates writing just aren't ready, so it must be frustrating to be made to try something which is really really hard for you.

I would focus either - doing something completely different at home until he wants to do more writing... or offering things which help develop the hand muscles like bead threading, using cutlery (spreading something on bread?), building with lego etc.

Also, does he enjoy drawing or painting. My ds likes to just draw or paint whatever he wants - usually big circles, zigzags and lines which he can do. That way he builds his confidence and pencil control but has control over what he tries. Every now and then he will decide to try draw something new - a '5' or 'e' or a face (but usually quickly goes back to what he feels comfortable with!) Have you tried drawing on a big scale - with big pieces of paper or an aquadraw?

Sorry, went off on a bit of a ramble there..

Have you tried getting him to do cutting out? Someone will no doubt correct me if I'm wrong but I understand that cutting out helps with pencil control. It may be more interesting to him than holding a pencil to start with.

Another lovely activity is to mix some cornflour with some water and pour it onto a tray. He could practise his mark making with a finger through the goo and then watch as it disappears. Kids love it!

The other thing my ds liked to do when he started mark making was drawing out the letters on a tray similar to what smartiejake suggests. We used a white tray and loose leaf tea mixed with glitter.

My ds has always refused to write his name in anyone's birthday card. He now gets writing homework (yR) and refuses to do it unless I 'promise' not to peek!

As EdithsMummy recommends try mark making in sand/dirt also shaving foam on kitchen table is good for mark making. Have you got chunky pencils/crayons/Chalks. What I did with my ds(& still do occassionally) is selotape wallpaper on the floor & draw pictures/mark make my son loves it.
Boys tend to be a little behind girls with pencil control when entering reception as they tend to enjoy rough & tumble activities which encourage gross motor skills.
Ds could recognise his name when written down but could only spell the first 3 letters when he entered reception, he got the opportunity to trace his name at school & at christmas I sat with him & got him to write his name in all his friends christmas cards (only 3-4 cards a night) using his name card to copy all the letters by the time he'd wrote his name in 30 cards he no longer needed to copy from his name card.
It is early days & even if your son only puts a squiggle in a card at least he's getting the idea that he has to write his name.
You'll be amazed at what he can do by this time next yr.

Why not Go Large. Buy a roll of lining paper and some big markers, or some chalks for drawing outside, or even water in a washing up bottle.

Having said that lots of Reception class cant write their names and I know at dd's school tehy are encouragign ANY kind of pencil work at all. scribbles are GOOD as they show that they are gettign the idea of pencil control

I would back off completely if he doesn't want to. My DS would have been in reception this term if he was going to school (we home ed) and shows almost no interest in writing or even colouring, saying he can't do it and it hurts to hold pens, pencils, crayons etc. I'm happy to not push him and just have them available for him to get out when he wants to. He does a little bit of 'writing' when we get magazines like the cbeebies ones and work through them together...but I don't push him if he asks me to do them.

We do lots of fine motor control stuff to help him develop his finger control - threading beads, sowing seeds, cutting out, stickers, sewing...or simply tracing the outlines of letters, numbers, mazes etc with his fingers.

Ots of children this age can't write at all - I would leave it for a while if I were you. Do lots of painting and scribbling if he wants to, but don't put any pressure on him at all (and don't let the school put any pressure on him either). He'll get there!

Great advice on this thread. My Ds2 is 4.3 months in Reception and really struggling with writing anything. I'm in danger of being a pushy parent I think, worrying far too much about the fact he can't write. DS1 was one of the eldest in his class and has always found it all very easy so having one of the youngest is very different. I've printed worksheets off the computer and stuff for him to practice but he's quite reluctant at the moment so i think I'll back off for a while. Thankyou lovely people for making me see sense{smile]