Why is it schools always pick the same children to do everything?

[FimboGotAxed]

My dd came home with the list of the school captains today. No surprises as to who has been picked.

Dd said there was no balloting or voting, the children were picked as they "work hard".

Dd's friend has been picked and I am pleased for her and dd has congratulated her.

But it is the same children chosen every single time. Writer of the week, Golden Child etc etc. Ok granted the children picked are quite vocal and will do the job well, but what about the other who work are maybe a bit more quiet but work away equally as hard?

Interesting - at my ds's primary school, things like school council rep are chosen as follows:-
First, ask who would like to do it, then out of those, get the class to vote for who they want. As ds (aged 7) said "I'll never get chosen, because people always vote for their friends not who they think will do the job best." Even at this age, he knows that, while he has friends, he is not going to be as popular as the "in crowd" and will therefore never win the vote. The in-crowd are the ones who play football etc, rather than the ones who work hard and behave themselves.

That's because the whole school culture is set up that way - footballers win cups and get glory and mentions in assembly of winning on behalf of the school. We teach our kids that maths and story writing is not cool by showing them that no one gets prizes for them at the end of the year.

It's true. To a degree anyway. We have a v. sporty school and as an English and arts person I try to champion the cause of the non-sporty.

Did my own certificates at the end of term last year so every year 6 got one. Included things like 'history genius' and 'drama queen'. Was nice but it was still mostly the same ones who got the main prizes.

Fighting a losing battle against prevailing school culture, alas.

rachel my son's form teacher does that as well

DS got "most likely to be a rocket scientist" and "quietest boy inthe class"
At dc's primary school the choose the form representatives by ballot and this year Mary in the school play also was by audition and vote.

These kids are the politicians of the future - and there is no rhyme or reason to it. Two of mine were/are the never-get-picked ones; the other two were/are always picked for everything. It's getting embarrassing with DS3 - he's just added Playground Buddy to his long list of Things He's Been Picked For. And he's no more or less charismatic than the others - maybe quicker to volunteer, I suppose, but that's it. It's making him cocky and probably loathed by other parents.

Why is it though, that these days children who ARE good at things are not allowed to be praised any more?
If your child is good at stuff or even the best at anything you are not allowed to acknowlege it as you are seen as boasting.
Hassled I think it is really sad that you are embarrassed about your DS's achievements

You have to accept that some DCs are born leaders. As a DC I liked to fade into the background-there were lots of things that I hoped not to be picked for!

At my DD's parent-teacher meeting the teacher was very clear that she felt that she would have failed if all the children in the class had not blossomed and taken opportunities to shoulder responsibilities and to shine by the end of the year

I know what the OP means too.

DS works hard (it says so in his reports and his teachers say so not just me), is reasonably bright and confident but never gets chosen for anything either. It even has meant that he doesn't collect any merits.

There are the ones whose faces fits who only have to turn up every morning to get a merit or a certificate and the really naughty ones who get merits the second they do anything half good just by way of encouragement and then those in the middle who keep their heads down and get on with it who get nothing.

Thankfully, DS is less bothered than me but I do think they waste children's talents by not being more inclusive of everybody for these things.

Hmm, we seem to have a complete mixture of systems going on (DS is Y2), which more or less works as far as I can see it.

Assemblies, plays etc - everyone has a part of some sort. I suspect the bigger parts go to the more reliable children and those with the more reliable parents. If I were a teacher I would want someone who could realistically learn and repeat lines with some convictions (DS would fail on this front - is workmanlike and performs like he has Miss Clark standing behind him jabbing a ruler in his back). I'd also want one whose parents would rehearse with them and who would turn up with a costume etc if that is required (we have some parents with form on the non production of costumes front ).

I deffo agree with the proposition that the Christmas play is a bit of a "showcase" for the school, hence more articulate/reliable children getting bigger roles.

Sports, choir etc, done on talent but a fairly limited selection pool means that even complete muppets can get into the football team (speaking as the mother of such muppet).

Golden leaves are handed out every week and often for the flimsiest reasons imaginable - so those go to encourage the naughty ones and the quieter ones. Merits are also handed out (marbles in a jar) for small bits of good behaviour.

Other competitons - Easter bonnet etc - I have always suspected of being a "fix" and the prize going to worthy causes and not necessarily the producer of the best bonnet.

So if you had the lead part in the play and were always in the sports team you will probably get fewer golden leaves and certainly won't win the Easter bonnet competition.

School council done by vote (Ds was elected on a mandate of "being kind to everyone" and "making the school a happy place - we've sent a copy of his manifesto to Barack Obama in case he is running out of ideas).

It feels like a reasonable mixture of rewarding the able children but not letting them dominate everything.

Know what you mean, sometimes I think the teachers don't think nothing more nothing less. My dd was picked quite a lot and it became very embarrassing - really it did. Then the last year there was a big turn around and the children who would not normally be picked were and of course while there were moans in the playground it did look a lot better and better for the children all round.

As a parent of August-born children, it sometimes rankles that the ones picked are more often than not September or October children.

I went to a school assembly today and the girl chosen to read the poem from year 2 was almost twice the size of her classmates. Fair enough, she boomed out the poem and looked very confident, but I have seen this flippin' girl in every single assembly or show, and I think some of the others should be given a chance.

More positively, ds bloomed in the juniors and now he is the one getting on all the parents' nerves as he is the main feature of just about everything (tortoise and hare emoticon!).

They have a very elaborate system for school council in the DCs school. Everyone who would like to be chair, secretary or treasurer goes on a longlist and the top three are chosen by secret ballot. They then have to prepare a speech and deliver it at whole school assembly and then all the children vote. Last year's chair apparently swung it by doing a cartwheel in mid-speech.
They change ordinary council members every half term so lots of children can have a go.

school council here seemed to be done by appointment - the children of the chair of the PTA and the chair of the governors were chosen (nobody seems to know who by).

it really pisses me off and im tempted to say something at parents evening - its always the same kids - the older ones! aghhh

but then i think i didnt get picked for things like that - never mary etc, and i became very rich and successful so it hardly matters

i don't think they should vote actually cos it is always the popular ones who win.

imo they should ask who wants to do it and then they should try and accomodate everyone who would like to be on the school council or read in assembly or have a part in the play etc.

my son's school is like this too. felt a bit of a farce at end of yr 2 assembly, star pupil did poetry reading then won virtually every prize going, played the kazoo recital, she was also the lead in the xmas play, the easter play etc etc.

on the one hand, if she's top of everythign then yes she should be recognised for her achievements.

on the other hand, it would be nice to see a different kid reading their poem even if it was less impressive.

and i remember it being the same at my 2ndary school. my best friend got a prize every year for no particular reason other than being nice... we would say "and this year, the louise smith prize for being louise smith goes to.... louise smith!" have name changed to protect her innocence!

No,no, rachels103, it wasn't directed at anyone - just an observation. Tis the same rule that says that the quiet, well mannered studious child ALWAYS has to sit next to the naughtiest, most disruptive one in the class, in the hope that the good behaviour will rub off.

It is hell on earth for the good child though.

oh 3littlefrogs - is that the case? my eldest dd is quiet well mannered studious and sits next to the loudest one!!!!! just realised!

is there any evidence to suggest that loud confidence will rub off on quiet one? or will it just drive her mad?

Presumably it is better for the teacher than having 2 naughty ones together.
I suppose it depends how the quiet one copes with it.
Dd could have coped if it had been in small doses, but she got very stressed having to face it every day.

My Ds1 was at a school that was a bit like that ( one of the reasons we moved him.)
One boy was so favoured that DS1 asked in class
" and will John Smith be winning the John Smith award for being the best John Smith again this year ?"

His teacher told me by way of reproach. I burst out laughing
Very childish I know

Our school doesn't actually audition for parts in school plays, instead roles are simply allocated to the usual bunch without all children being offered the chance to show what they can do. DD loves being in the plays and dreams of having - if not a main role - at least a talking part, but has only ever been part of the crowd scene. Trouble is, she would never actually consider asking for an audition herself and I want to raise the issue on her behalf, but this will probably earn me the "pushy" label, so can't win, I guess.

that's a bit unfair. i think those that want to audition should be able to.