What do we think of this laid back discipline method employed by DS2's teacher

[sameagain]

When DS2 (yr1) came out of school yesterday his teacher said to him (I'm sure in a voice designed for me, and the other mum's to hear) "remember what I said, or I'll have to talk to your mum"

So, obviously I quizzed him and he "couldn't remember" what he'd done, but when I said I'll have to ask Mrs M then, he told me he'd been playing when he should have been listening on the carpet.

We talked about how he needs to look at people when they speak to him, so they know he is listening and this morning he apologised for being naughty and promised to be good today.

Teacher made a huge fuss about how good and clever he was for being honest and telling mum. Seemed odd to me to give praise for something that came about from being naughty?

We had the same issue with DS1 not being able to sit still on the carpet, but his teacher billed is as "he can't concentrate" and I got myself all workedup about what was "wrong" with him, so this approach is much kinder to me. Carpet time, I think, is a very bad idea for boys. Or just mine?

The praise wasn't for being naughty, though; it was for being honest with you and for apologising for his behaviour. Deserving of praise, I'd say.

I like the more positive approach myself, and think it's more likely to have him at least trying to sit still on the carpet than some other approaches might.

Carpet time is hard for most children really; it's not only boys who are fidgets.

Both my DSs useless at carpet time, always told they weren't sitting still or looking in right direction, but when quizzed they did know what the teacher had been talking about and could answer question on it, just couldn't sit still.

So I would agree carpet time and boys don't go together or school and boys but thats another issue.

Agree with shitehawk, the praise was for telling you, not for being naughty. Small children can't handle a lengthy chain of cause and effect causing another effect and so on ad infinitum.

There was some research reported last year, I think, that suggested children who fidget and daydream ARE actually taking stuff it. It's just how they absorb information. Clearly not desirable from a teacher's POV - you couldn't have the whole class fidgeting and looking out of the window. But interesting.

Yes edam, I know that was the case for DS1. He, according to his teacher, "never listened", but could recount minute detail about The Great Fire of London, or whatever topic they were covering.