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Is it right to tell a child in front of the whole class that their work is apalling?

38 replies

DesperateHousewifeToo · 29/09/2008 22:08

Ds (year 2) spent an hour and a half crying tonight after school. He said that all the teachers hated him and that he was stupid.

He had some literacy work sent home to 're-write'.

(Two weeks ago he had maths sent home on two nights in a row because he had not done enough.)

Tonights work had a comment written next to it saying it was not his best work and to re-do it. No suggestions of what was wrong i.e. handwriting not joined up, not enough written. So I did not know whether he should just re-write it or add to it. Anyway he was in such a state, he just re-wrote it, trying to do joined up writing.

Had a phone call an hour ago from another mum who said her ds had told her that my son had 'been in real trouble at school today'. Apparently, the teacher had told him in front of the whole class that his work was 'apalling'.

No wonder he was upset. The message he seems to be getting is that none of his work is good enough.

Am being pfb to think that teachers should encourage their students and not tell them things like this in front of the whole class?

What should I do?

OP posts:
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DesperateHousewifeToo · 30/09/2008 12:53

There isn't much other choice in this area.

Either other private schools looking for results too (although, to be fair, the boys do go on to a variety of schools from this school, not just the well known ones) or the local sink school (which is improving but not fast enough for my ds to attend, I think).

I have made it clear to the school in the past that I see my ds going to a school that suits him (either educationally or emotionally) and I would not put him through an exam for a school that is inappropriate for him at the moment.

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VeniVidiVickiQV · 30/09/2008 13:23

Snort! @ dried wet wipe...(been there!).

you poor thing. It's mortifying when you burst into floods of tears in public. Especially when you are trying to say something very important....

it's good that the teacher is going to look into it for you. Still agree with Soapy's post yesterday. Don't comply until they can make their instructions clear.

DesperateHousewifeToo · 30/09/2008 13:28

Have emptied manky tissues and wet wipe from coat pockets.

Got a meeting with teacher after school. I expect she's getting her rain mac ready, just in case.

Have just taken my frustrations out on the hoover

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edam · 30/09/2008 13:33

Put a pack of clean tissues in your pockets before you go! Poor old ds, sounds really unfair. Keep your focus on ds and make sure she concentrates on undoing the damage, don't let her bluster and change the subject.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 30/09/2008 13:40

Vaccuum!!!!

You know, it's okay to cry. Sometimes, getting it out the way first can help gear you up for the determined, stern talk.

I'm sure it will go well this afternoon though. And DONT apologise to her for getting upset this morning, okay?

gagarin · 30/09/2008 17:20

Don't worry about crying - reminds me of the time I went to see a teacher to complain about her short and bed tempered attitude and it ended up with her spilling her terrible week out on me!

We parted friends on the same side and dc was much happier as the teacher was always extra kind after that (she didn't last long in teaching...)

DesperateHousewifeToo · 30/09/2008 19:23

Had a very positive meeting with class teacher and head of something or other (!).

Class teacher apologised and said she did not want to upset anyone. Didn't mention the 'appalling' comment again.

Anyway, ds is messing around a bit in class and talking about what he is going to do a lot before he gets around to doing anything.

Have agreed on some targets and she promises to let me know how he is doing each day.

Feel much happier. Head was very smiley, so wonder if she knew about my outburst too

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MrsThierryHenry · 30/09/2008 21:57

Well done, Desperate!! I'm SO proud of you, snotty wet-wipes & all! xxxxx

DesperateHousewifeToo · 30/09/2008 22:18

Thankyou MrsTH.

You were all such a help last night.

Was telling a rl friend today how great you had all been

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bloss · 01/10/2008 07:38

Message withdrawn

DesperateHousewifeToo · 01/10/2008 13:11

Absolutely. It was all planned.

I'm not a blithering idiot really

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Twiglett · 02/10/2008 12:39
Grin
CarGirl · 02/10/2008 12:50

When I had only read the op I was going to say I wonder if your ds was being disruptive/not doing his work in class. In which case the teacher needs to address that issue not attacking your ds standard of work!

Glad it is well on its way to being sorted.

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