Am I overreacting?

[Orinoco]

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My understanding is that, since you can apply for a school place at any time of year, you are also entitled to appeal against refusal even if the school is full. Admittedly, it is usually only newcomers to an area that are likely to go down this route but you can request a change of school for ANY reason - including unsuitability of their current school - and if your application is turned down, then you still have the right to appeal under section 3 of the School Admissions Code (www.dcsf.gov.uk/sacode/docs/School%20Admission%20Appeals%20Code.pdf - sorry can't do links as Acrobat not working on my PC ). LEAs can discourage all they like, but they still have to abide by the law of the land! The only limit is that you can only appeal once for each school year, unless there is a significant change of circumstances - eg. you move into the catchment area or a sibling is admitted to the school.

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No you are def not over-reacting (why are men like this - sorry - don't want to turn this into an anti-men rant). I would be heartbroken if this was happening to my DDs in school - the ethos in schools now is inclusion and your child should never be isolated from their peers, particularly if there have been no behaviour issues. Sitting on her own for lunch .

Please don't be put off - you know you're only doing your best for your children.

No, definitely not overreacting. Perhaps you could try convincing DH that you have nothing to lose by at least finding out what your options are? Ultimately you want your children to be happy and I can't see how they can be in such an unfriendly atmosphere. The school has a duty of care to its pupils but this place certainly does not seem very caring IMO.

I don't think you are over reacting either. They maybe be small things but cumulatively they seem to me to show a school which doesn't take a lot of care of its children.

I feel for your DD1 as well. DS1 is in Yr 4 now but when he did his SATs he didn't even know he was being tested and that is how it should be at 7 imo. The fact that they need to send practice papers home suggests to me a school that is worried about failing. She should also have been fully supported in her move up to the juniors.

I wish you luck sorting out a new school.

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Good luck!

FWIW I had to see HT a couple of years ago - nothing serious, just lots of "little" things that concerned me and made me feel that my children were not being cared for as they should be. For example, DS coming home plastered in paint several days in succession (they do have aprons for art!), his clothes getting inexplicably torn (nobody ever seemed to notice or investigate - it turned out to be a potentially dangerous snag on play equipment) and DS and DD getting off the school bus on a cold day with coats undone or not worn at all. It was when I mentioned the word care (or apparent lack of it) that things really seemed to hit home.

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I work in a school and I would recommend you contact the Local Education Officer (LEO) to discuss issues of the failure in the duty of care to your child. It's not strictly the procedure (you're meant to complain to the Head, then if not satisfied, the Chair of Governors, then if not satisfied, the LEO) but these are serious Health & Safety issues here and it seems like the Head is not taking responsibility. They will probably want to see you with the Head. The fact they are involved shows how seriously you are taking this and I don't think the Head sounds like she has up to now. The Boxall profile is all very well, but health & safety must be addressed first. This is basic common sense, it must be so frustrating for you.

I agree that probably your relationship with the school has deteriorated to the extent moving schools would be best particularly as these problems seem to be denied and ongoing. At Key Stage 1 (Reception, Year 1, year 2) the maximum number in any class is 30 legally, so that's hard to get round and probably on used in EXCEPTIONAL medical circumstances. Older than that and the Head can go up to whatever they think the classroom and teacher could take. It's worth putting your name on waiting lists as people move house all year round so you never know. Mid year joiners tend to ring us direct and we sort it out - there's no need to go the Local Authority unless it's applying at an age children would normally start at the school.

Good luck!

Huge sympathy orinoco. It's heartbreaking when your children are unhappy at school and they certainly have reason to be so.

I'm in a catchment for 3 very good schools but I turned down one because the class would have consisted of my DD1 and 5 boys. So she's in a class of 30 and between the teacher, TAs & parent helpers it really doesn't seem like too many in one class. And she has lots of options for making and changing friends.

What does your DH think now he's seen the Head? Perhaps he needs to take the girls to school more often or pick them up afterwards...?

Orinoco, I moved my dcs when dd2 was Y5 and dsY4 - wish I'd done it ages ago. In my frequent discussions with head before doing so was told dd1 would never make friends as she was too serious and academic, dd2 complained too much and would never be happy and ds would never achieve academically and go to university because of his dyslexia (he was 7). It was all trying to cover themselves.

Tiny schools often don't work. Dd1 is Y10 now with lots of friends (though still academic - just a bigger pool to choose friends from), dd2 is never serious and ds passed his 11 plus. Sometimes schools are just wrong for our children. I'm a teacher - even worked at the old school - but instincts are sometimes right. I hope it works out as well for your children as it did for mine - it was the making of them.

Change school. This is not doing your kids any good. My dd was at a small school for year 1 and some of year 2. It really didn't suit her at all. We sold our house and moved around for some months (when we made pathetic attempts to home ed! singularly unsuccessful!!). Having bought a house 150 miles away, dd is now in quite a big school and much much much much much better. Do it, don't be scared. And no, you're not over-reacting or remotely irrational.

Just to say I have moved my ds who is in Year 1. I knew he was getting stressed and wasn't as happy as he could be in his very large infants school.

The decision was agonising but it has proved to be the right one so far. It's like I've got my son back!

He came with me to pick up younger ds from nursery after school the other day and the nursery manager was almost in tears to see the difference in him. He was so calm and happy.

You know your kids - do it if it's not right.

Your poor DDs, and poor you too. What a horrible situation.

If you're still interested in the private option, it's worth pushing to see if there is any help with the fees (whatever they say at the outset). Your situation is unusual, and it would be worth putting it to the private school. Your DD2 also appears to be unusually good at number work, which might help??? There's no guarantee that any of this would make any difference, but it is always worth asking (preferably once the school has met your DDs, and has seen what a great addition to the school they would be!!)