DD1 in reception, problems settling, how to help

[Lisa229]

I already posted a message on her last week about DD1 not enjoying reception and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. This is week 3. Week 2 she seemed less tearful and the teacher said she was doing well. She was eating school lunches and getting stickers saying how well she'd eaten.

Said she wanted to have packed lunch this week because the girl she seemed to have made friends with was having them. So I was fine with this. However, she has only eaten half a roll the last 3 days, says she's not hungry but clearly is as she eats it as soon as she is at home. Also woke crying last night saying she didn't want to go, clinging to be me when I left her with MIL to go to work this morning. On the verge of tears every morning this week when I mention school.

When we go to collect her, the teacher says she has been fine and she says she hasn't cried. I am just worried that if she isn't eating lunch, she is probably getting tired in the afternoon as she has no energy, she has always been a really good eater.

Do they not monitor packed lunch as much as school lunches? Should I say that she will have to go back to school lunches if she doesn't eat or let her be? And what can I do about the tears, it is making me feel so guilty.

Any help appreciated.

[TeeBee]

My DS1 went through a phase of eating virtually nothing for the first few weeks - probably not feeling hungry because he was stressed out and feeling very nervous. He knew nobody in the class to start with. I don't think there is much use in trying to make her eat. I suspect she will eat more when she feels more comfortable. When she makes a few friends she will spend so much time having fun that I'm sure her eating will pick up.

My son now absolutely adores school and stuffs his face silly - so much so that the dinner ladies give him extra portions!

[TeeBee]

Oh, and the crying is dreadful isn't it? One day he pleaded with me to pick him up at lunchtime and not make him stay all day. The lunch times were the most traumatic for him - he had to work so hard with the politics of the playground. She will get better, I'm sure - just needs to time to settle in. Just make sure there is plenty of food and love on tap when she gets home.

[Lisa229]

Thanks for the advice and reassurance. Will see how she is over the next couple of days as I am off work. Should I preserve with packed lunches then if that is what she wants?

It's so hard, I thought we were making progress but we seem to be going backwards. I know it won't last forever but it's no fun is it?

[TeeBee]

Personally, I would completely go with what she says she wants. I think the less she has to worry about the better. And at least with the packed lunch you can see exactly what she has/hasn't eaten. And you can write her little notes with smiley faces on them to show you are thinking of her.

I think it does get worse for some of them when they realise that they actually have to go every day - and of course, the teachers are not pussy-footing around them so much either. Honestly, my DS took a few months to really settle and he ADORES school now! Loads of friends and ruling the roost. Give her a few weeks, she'll probably be bossing them all around!

One thing that really helped DS was us inviting friends over to play after school - could you maybe have her new friend over for a short play whilst you are off work? Mind you has now back fired because my house is full with everyone else's kids most afternoons! Ho hum.