Been done a million times but tell me whether you'd send your child to a Cof E primary if you were an atheist.

[chipmunkswhereareyou]

Title says it all.

The choice is a good, local state CofE or a fantastic private prep that's 20 to 25mins drive (although this doesn't particularly bother me).

To balance things out:

We're in London and it's not like it's the local village school he'd be going to anyway - he won't be cycling alone to his friends' houses aged eight round here, or playing out the front with all the local kids, so to me if I have to walk with him for 10 mins or drive him 15 mins to friends' houses it won't make any difference. Lots of the kids at the further away school are from round here.

I am happy to do the commute if it's the case that it will offer him the best possible education. The further away school has:

• smaller class sizes (20 vs 30)
• great facilities (the local one has a playground and nice classrooms but nothing else)
• a wonderful reputation

But it is further and costs money! Argh this is tricky!

chipmunks, sounds like your heart is really at the prep school and you are bringing up the religion thing to try to find an excuse not to go to the CofE one (I mean that in a nice way, not sarky!)

go and look at them both again, work out your finances, talk to as many people as possible who have knowledge of each school, try the commute at school time, find out which secondary schools kids go on to, etc etc.

eventually your heart will tell you which school is best for your child!

Harpo - that is such a good post - really sound advice. I know you didn't mean it in a sarky way and think you are right - I just have enough of a doubt about it though and think maybe I haven't given the local school enough of a chance!

tbh - the local state (Church) school as for me there would be no choice. I couldn't afford to send my DS to a private schoo in any case.

glad to be of help, chipmunks - it took me a long time to work out which school I preferred and talking to loads of people finally swung it in the end.

also, what school are ds's friends going to? I think familiar faces and strong friendships are good when settling into school. The friendships might not last but they will help at the start.

The private school further away has a fantastic reputation according to everyone I've ever asked - for being an all round lovely school - I've honestly never heard a bad thing about it, unlike the other private schools where I always hear differing proportions of good v bad.

The local school is viewed as 'good for a state primary' so it's hard to compare as people have different expectations for the two sectors imho.

The friends thing doesn't make a difference as they are all going to different schools.

I nearly did.

We needed a school which could manage DS using a wheelchai for a year or so - and the first school to offer a place on SEN was a v over-subscribed CoE school, for which most places went to active church attenders.

I was onfiden he would have got a good education, impressed that they offered DS a place, and felt that no harm would be done. he wuld know that his parents were not believers, and that the school was governe by people who are.

In the end we were alos offered a place at a community school and I thought it would be easier not to be 'negotiating' things the school had taught. Also the premises were more spacious.

But if your local school is CoE, is good and you can get in on proximity, I would definitley prioritise nearby friends and not having to drive to school over a secular education.

We moved to within walking distance of Ds's school and it makes a HUGE difference in the general quality of our lives.

ah, who is saying 'good for a state primary', chipmunks? If it is people who favour private education then I would ignore. Honestly. That just sounds a bit one-sided. Go with an open mind and unless you really, really don't mind driving such a long way every day then I must say the walking to school bit is a huge plus, as Blu says. Dd bounces into school after the walk, she meets friends on the way and seems generally invigorated by the exercise she is getting. Me too!

I have, as it is a fab school. Dd can make her own mind up when she is older.

Nah. We are not Christians and I don't want my children having to pray, be told a load of claptrap about Jesus or any other religious nonsense during the course of his school day. However, if you feel OK about it, go for it.

nice to see that you are respectful of other people's beliefs mrs mattie

We do. Would have preferred not to but not in the catchment for any non faith schools. Did not lie on the application form and have been honest with our children about holding different views to the school.

I would, if it were the only or most feasible local school. Which it often is. I'm very keen that my children go to a school they can walk or cycle to wherever possible.

In fact we've used 3 primaries and they've all been community (non religious ones) which does please me. But I wouldn't have ruled out a C of E school, it would irritate me but it wouldn't worry me.

Personally no.

But then some people don't have a choice as such.

However of your choice between private or state religious?

I'd go state everytime.

I have too. it is my local village school, it means that she is with her friends and in her community, I can use a childminder I know well and she can still play with families I know after school when I work.
also she walks to school, v important imo.
she is in her third term and although she knows about God and is taught Christianity as truth she veers between agnosticism and atheism.

No, and I'm amazed at people who do! I realise DS will be subjected to people telling him god exists at some point anyway (and I totally accept that the decision is his - I will not be telling him God doesn't exist, just that it's what I believe). But I think it's mad and bizarre for religious dogma to be taught in a school setting, where children are supposed to be taught about facts and reality and to take what their teachers say at face value. It seems so obviously confusing for the same people in the same capacity and position of authority to be telling kids in one breath how air pressure works or how big tigers are, and in the next that god exists - a completely different, totally not factual or objective, kind of information. How the hell are children supposed to develop a clear understanding of what fact is? No wonder so few people have a proper grasp of science.

We had the same dilemma - good C of E school or decent prep school at some distance.

My husband joined and attended the church. We went round the school and it became apparent that God was going to figure a lot larger than just in morning assembly.

There were other issues but in the end we realised there were going to be the "Baby Jesus" questions. Were we going to play along? (and if so, how could we justify asking him to be honest?) Or were we going to give him the complex version and put him add odds with his what everyone at school is saying.

We just weren't comfortable. But we weren't comfortable with Prep either. The local friends thing, the fact there is no way out of private sector once you are in and the fact most reasonably able kids are going to learn to read and write and do maths wherever they are. Wouldn't we better off putting the money aside for our pension rather than piling the pressure on him to succeed?

In the end we moved house and he started 2 weeks ago at a good local community school. and so far, so good but we have agonised and hedged our bets every step of the way!

(BTW - Do check the admissions criteria if you decide to go down the C of E route)

Stephla - ds has a place in the nursery so we'd probably be fine to get a place.
Unless they insist that you are CofE.

Angry Pixie - what was the exact question re your religion on the supplementary form?

I am an atheist and I wouldn't send my children to a C of E school. When we were moving house that's the main thing that put me off the house we were looking at - the catchment area was C of E.

Hi

My son's school is an infant school which feeds into a CofE Junior School. The infant school is, in theory, non-denominational.

I have had alot of stress this week after discovering the school were teaching 'God created the earth' as part of a science topic and without prefacing it with the sentence - some christians believe. I got nowhere with the school who were very beliegerent (although they did remove offending creationist posters!).

So my advice is be careful. It is not always just a case of a quick christian assembly which doesn't do them any harm but some may use it as a way of introducing christianity inappropriately in teaching, for example blending lines on science and fact. Not all CofE schools will do this but some might.

Ask the right questions.

At least we could argue that the curriculum was supposed to teach other religions. Once you embrace a faith school and its teaching, you don't have much argument.

We do. It is nearest school and 'outstanding' according to OFSTED. We did not, however, pretend to be religious to get in - unlike most of the other parents.

my dc go to a state Cof E school with a strong religious ethic. Dh and I are both atheists. I'm not keen on the religious teachings but have no problem giving them my thoughts on the matter. In fact We have quite a few interesting conversations on the subject. As we live in a small community though, I would hate for them to be not included in community (mainly church based) events due to my religious beliefs

so I'd still pick Cof E state over private prep...

(sorry pressed post too soon)