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Awkwardness between friends about the Y1 placements ....

7 replies

ThatBigGermanPrison · 20/07/2008 10:45

Our school has mixed last year's Reception up a LOT when it comes to reclassing them. There are 3 groups, a mixed reception and year one group, a pure year one group and a year one and year two group.

My frind'/s little boy has a late August birthday, and is going into recption/year 1 after doing pure reception last year.

Ds1 isn't. He has an April birthday and is going into year 1/ year 2.

I firmly believe that this is because the teacher has a great track record with 'children like him'

but my friend is needled by this. She made a snide comment "If anyone needs to do reception again, it's your ds1!" - which is uncalled for.

She obviously feels that her son is being held back and mine is being promoted, and I can see this causing really bad feeling.

as it is, her son gets another year with the sandpit, the trikes and the trainset, and mine, who is only 4 months older, gets to be the youngest child in a fucking big playground and to be in a class with 7 year olds in when he's only 5.5!

how can I stop this causing bad feeling?

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FranSanDisco · 20/07/2008 10:51

TBH I wouldn't want her friendship. I'd tell her if she isn't happy see the school and that you have your own concerns about your ds's class situation but obviously she wouldn't be interested in that . Her anger shouldn't be directed at your son in the form of shitty remarks and I'd be peed off really.

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Doodle2U · 20/07/2008 11:28

I'd try to ride this one out with her.

When they go up in September, they'll all shake out into the correct groups again and things will change again. From what I know, continuous assessment by qualified teachers will ensure that children are moved between groups according to their abilities and regardless of age but they have to start some where.

This time next year, it'll be all different again.

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LIZS · 20/07/2008 11:34

Simple answer is you can't . She is obviously riled and has misdirected this at you and your ds. She is entitled to think it but you don't have to listen to it. If she has concerns tell her to ask the school for the logic behind the decision for her child but what they have decided for others is not for her to know. And agree with Doodle that she'd better get used to it as it could well change each year.

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shrinkingsagpuss · 20/07/2008 11:35

oooh tricky.

I'm not at that stage yet, but only looking at schools. DS is quite bright, and I want him pushed to keep him interested when he goes to school. His best friend at nursery isn't showing such a learning interest, and they will probably go to the same school - it could get awkward.

Being the youngest isn't always a bad thing, and bright boys need to be pushed, to keep them going. He'll be fine.

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lljkk · 20/07/2008 11:36

Gosh, it isn't your fault where her DS got placed! Some friend, if she's trying to make you feel bad about it.

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ThatBigGermanPrison · 20/07/2008 15:45

She's really unhappy about it - but from experience, she can talk to the school until she is blue in the face, they'll do what the child needs, not what the parent wants.

It's only this belief that is keeping me from charging in and demanding ds1 is kept in the reception playground with the other young boys.

I happen to think her son is getting the better deal, but hey, she has a husband and a degree, and I'm a single mum who left school at 16 - my son can't possibly be as capable as hers

(yes, I am just being snide now)