Having spent a frustrating hour trying to get DS (6) and DD (4) to do their homework am I being unreasonable to

[dollybird]

be a bit annoyed to discover that our neighbours son who is in DD's class doesn't get homework 'because he won't do it'? I don't have a problem with my kids having homework, but it's pretty frustrating at times trying to help them both out at the same time when they keep trying to butting into each others work etc.

I wouldn't bother with getting a 4 yo to do hw.

With the 6 yo, have you tried making it a routine at a particular time of day (when he's not too hungry or tired)? Get the hw out yourself, say ooh this looks interesting and don't allow any distractions eg tv, toys. Perhaps promise a treat when it's done. If he won't do it, put it away, don't give treat, don't allow tv etc. Stay calm, deep breaths.

I am a piano teacher and I have 2 pupils who are brother and sister. Their mother brings them to my house and does hw with one while I'm teaching the other! An expensive solution I know but something to consider for the future.

too young

your neighbour has probably told teacher it's madness

way too young to have homework.

I don't force my 8 and 6 year old to do their (minimal) homework. If they don't want to do it, I write in the book "X didn't want to do her homework". Our teachers have been fine with that (but they don't really like setting homework anyway, they only do it because the parents ask for it).

I don't want them to see learning as a horrible chore at that age.

Message withdrawn

I never forced my 4yo to do homework either and was quite happy to tell the teacher that I thought it was too much for her- so I'm probably like your neighbour. Hasn't made her grow up illiterate or lazy- both she (11) and ds (8) take responsibility for their own homework and it is always done on time. I just think 4 is too young.

I've never had to force my kids to do homework (particularly DD) - it's just tricky to find time to do it separately (and one usually butts in anyway) so do it together. Think I just had a not so good session yesterday, esp as DS's 'reading' involved reading a couple of paragraphs and then answering ten questions (in full sentences!!) on it (ie not just reading). I just put in his diary that we talked through the answers to the questions which he was happy to do.

Stupid thing is they both love reading and writing when they can read or write what they want. DD is youngest in her class (and the school atm) and I suppose I'm very aware of this.

well I find them a little young but ok if dollybird is happy with them doing hw, I suppose that isn't the issue. The problem for her is that it's stressful because they disturb each other, so I think Elasticwoman's comment is helpful. Whilst the 4 year old does hw, the 6 year old has playtime in the bedroom and then it's change-over time and after that when both have finished they can both go outdoors?

How much homework do they get. How long do they have to do the homework?

My son is 6 year olds and is in year 1. I set a timer for 15 minutes and get him to sit at a table and do it. If the homework is not done after 15 minutes then I forget about it but my son is not allowed any TV or computer for the rest of the day.

I think that the age of 6 spending more than 15 minutes on homework a week is excessive. The most important thing is practicing reading.

oh sorry didn't see your last post. Could the 4 year old go and listen to a story tape whilst the 6 year old does hw?

I'm not sure if it was an hour - it just felt like it! They normally both get a reading book which they have read all or most of at school anyway and five or six of the core words to put into sentences. They don't always get both. All the books are being collected in so hence the passage which I thought was excessive given the writing DS had already had to do. DD had a poem which we read together as it was beyond her. Thank you for the tips - excellent idea to have a time limit and the playing in their bedroom. I've never been told the homework was voluntary and I suppose because they've always done it (apart from the odd occasion) it keeps on coming. (note to self to be more laid back next year)

My ds2 (7) wouldn't do his yesterday. I said 'fine - you can tell your teacher tomorrow.' He did it this morning before he went to school! No way would I spend an hour over it.

Apparently in the junior school (where DS will go Sept 2009) there is some sort of contract where you agree that they will do their homework within 3 days and if they don't they have to stay in at play time to do it!

I would amend the contract and sign it after that. Something like that I am very supportive of learning in general but don't always find homework appropriate for my children in a given week.

After all, what are they going to do? Especially if your children are reading and writing OK.

My 8 and 6yo dds are keen readers, they get through lots of books a week at home. I've encouraged that, I see it as more valuable than doing homework. And the teachers probably agree. I think you can get away with a lot of non compliance of petty rules if you are broadly encouraging of the school and of your children's education.