State school or Private?So confused.Really need help please!

[chocciedooby]

Since our DS1 was born we have had him on the waiting list for a reputable private school.
Over the last few months and weeks I have had a number of niggling doubts as to if we sre doing the right thing.Would we be better sending him to state school?Would he become a more grounded person at state school?One of my main concerns has been that if he goes to private school he will only mix with rich kids and I am afraid of him becoming a snob.
Obviously there is a huge financial difference as well and I am grateful that we are in the position to have this choice.
The extra cash would help but at the same time I want to put our child 1st.
Our other main concern if we go the state route, we would want to move DS to private at 9.How would this effect him?Would it be hard to integrate etc and effect his work?
As I live in Ireland the education system is slightly different to the UK but I would love to hear from anyone who has been in a similar position or has experience of moving a child from 1 school to another and the effects that had.

What does poor mean?

DH has just called me. We have to make decision in the next hour!!!!!!
He wants to go private.
I am going to have to back down on my gut instinct and go along with it.
I never in a million years thought this decsion would be so difficult.
As for his family, I will always bear a grudge.aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhh
I truly hope our DS's get the best out of this school and I pray it is worth every penny.

Yes they are nobs and with a capital S!
Poor secondary means = low standard of teachers, poor grades etc
I have always had my work cut out with his family. He is the only 1 that seems more grounded like me. I pray he stays that way. Wish me luck
Thank you so much for being my sounding boards. I really needed someone to talk to and get some support from.Thanks again.

The private schooling system here is very different to the UK.
They are very small at junior level and quite exclusive
Can you imagine what would happen if we told his family we were moving back to the UK
Thats would cause world war 3.

You only get in at junior level if you have a sibling there, have a parent that is a past pupil. You then have to have an interview etc.DS ws interviewed at 4!!!

does nobody ever move from the area then

how weird it sounds like the fens

If you're grounded your child will be grounded. I have just made the difficult decision to send my dd to private school. I think what you find hard is if like me you didn't have such advantages you feel like you are in unknown territory, and a little overwhelmed about the wealth of benefits they have in contrast. I'll be the parent picking up my dd in a beat up old diesel running on biofuel

You don't have to back down. You really don't.

this is confusing, don't think i've grasped this thread, which school is the better one? What are your tick boxes?

Yes very confusing rebelmum1.
Its been a rocky 2 days but its all finalised now. DS is going to..state school!I am so relieved and know its the right decision.DH had preference towards private but understood my thoughts and feelings on the subject and it was very important that we agreed in the end.
Incidentally in case anyone was wondering....we are barred from visiting the inlaws for the next while.Wasn't planning going anytime soon after all of these shenanigans.
Thanks all for your support and advice.

good for you chocciedooby