Sport's day blues

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I remember starting a similar thread last year and things obviously haven't got much better for my dd in the sport's department!

Trouble is she just isn't that sporty and seems to have come last in all the practice races she's been in in preparation for sport's day. She is really unhappy about it. She has a very sporty older brother who comes home with all the trophies, medals and glory and I think that doesn't help. I've talked to her till I'm blue in the face about her talent being in literacy and other things. She just doesn't want to come last. She's embarassed and humiliated and I don't know what to do about it. Dh is very sporty and I was pretty ok at school. She just doesn't seem very natural at running poor little love. Last year I nearly kept her off but didn't. She's in year 3 now and I think she should definitely go I just know there are going to be tears. I've said we'll practice at the weekend and maybe ds can give her some tips. What else can I do?

I sympathise - have similar with DS1. Is there a race where speed/running isn't as important? DS did quite well (ie didn't come last) in egg and spoon last year, because we practised and he knew he had a chance, unlike in running!

ds is often last, not at all sporty, but we don't make any big deal about it - he doesn't seem to mind either..the important thing is being game and having ago - classmates will respect that,in my experience. We can't all be good at everything !

Only way is to get down the park and practice I think. Have you done that?

I am so with you. My daughter is dreading the humiliation of being last. She isn't overweight, and she enjoys her ballet and swimming she is just a very slow runner. She is horrified by the thought of this 'public humiliation' She has begged to be excused.

My husband is very sporty and says that she should go and that there is no humiliation in being last etc etc.

My thinking is if she goes and enters all the team 'fun' events in good spirit then I will back her in her decision not to run in the 'fastest girl in year 4' race. (I've told her that she must be mature enough to tell her teacher herself that she does not intend to run in it and then I will back her up.)

I know that this is contrary to her Dad's views but unless he is willing to take the morning off work and witness and support her in her distress then he has to put up with my decision on it.

Would love to hear your views though...

I'm not sure if there are any fun races. I'll ask her tomorrow. She came last in the obstacle race today (practise run). Batting ball while running, throwing bean bags into a hoop, something else and then running. She seems to be with year 3's and 4's boys and girls. She just hates competition! She has one older and 3 younger brothers and ds1 and 3 are always trying to get her to race on the way to school and she gets so wound up by it. She isn't overweight and like your dd Rapunzelle enjoys swimming and ballet she just can't run. She does look quite odd when she runs! just not very natural. She does take comments to heart and some of the boys in her class have said some hurtful remarks. She is very sensitive about it though.

We will go to the park at the weekend. She reminded me tonight that last year I told her to pretend a witch was chasing her! That didn't seem to work though!

It's a shame because it is supposed to be a fun day and I do think it's good for the children who perhaps don't always shine academically but the flip side is that someone is always going to have to come in last... I don't know...

DD 10 came last this year, she has inherited out non running genes. Her best friend thanked her as she normally comes last, and dd has saved her that.

My attitude is you can't be good at everything.

Someone has to come last in the academic stuff too but you would never let them off doing that would you?

I was always last at sprinting for years. I found my niche though when we started Cross Country at 13 and I ended up runny at County level. Had the stamina but not the sprinting ability. I think if you let them off stuff too young they just get put in a 'rubbish at sport box' and thats no good.

ds had his first sportsday this year and didn't come last but didn't come 1,2 or 3 as his friends did. He's very sporty (and may have Glandular fever ) but was amazingly good about not winning. He seemed really chuffed his friends won. The Headmaster gave them all a rosette that he thinks is the most amazing thing in the world.

I really feel for her. It's a shame we do this and turn some children off sports for life.

I know other children feel similarly about academic subjects but we don't display test results on the board so that everyone can see who came 'last' (quite rightly of course!) but this is so public!

Why can't they choose whether or not to compete for the title of fastest boy or girl. Or have a range of events and everyone have to enter a minimum of 1 so that children could choose a team event or a throwing competition instead.

I hate it that my daughter is so stressed about this.

I worked with a child who was extremely poor academically, struggled with everything but come sports day he was a star, it was his day and it meant the world to him.

She will go and she'll do her best and that will be that till next year. I agree you can't be good at everything although her older brother pretty much is which is going to be tougher for ds2 I think than dd. It's just not easy seeing any of your children suffer, is it? She is just in a real tiz about it and nervous and I'd love to make that go away.

I agree that it's great that for some children sport's day is their time to shine. It's just as Rapunzelle says so public a humiliation or at least it seems to be to the loser. I asked dd whether a friend was good at something or other and she said 'I don't know, but he's got lovely writing!' Her whole class know that she's not very good at running!

Well, i'm sending her lots of love and luck, friendly, and I hopw she has fun in the end.
xxx

Maryz I think that is unacceptable too, Of course there should be a sports day for children like your son to shine, and everyone should be out there to celebrate their success.

I just think think that even young children should be able to choose their event.

I also think it would be crazy to force everyone to enter a handwriting competition.

Sports days don't need to be ultra competitive, and I don't see why everyone has to take part. It should be more of a case of 'who wants to take part in the 400m ?', and if some children choose not to do any of them, thats fine.

I always found it very hard to be publicly humiliated at sports day - I can't run properly (and even when I was rowing competitively at national level, I couldn't run), and due to sight problems can't throw or hit things accuratly - and it seemed that sports day was designed to make those who were less able at sports feel really, really bad about it. Something that would never be allowed in academic subjects.

I solved the problem by entering into a pact with my friend who had spina bifida that we always 'ran' together. PE teachers hated it, but they couldn't tell her off about it...

Is there another 'non-running' child? Perhaps they could team up too and come last together?

I am really surprised maryz that they have cancelled sportsday. I don't think that is fair at all. My ds's would be really upset if that happened. He loves anything sporty and they don't do enough of it in our school imo. I agree sport's days don't need to be ultra competative but I think competition is a good thing on the whole. My dd just can't cope with it!

Thanks too Herbietea I will definitely be shouting extra loud and I'm sure she'll be fine. It's interesting having one super-confident sporty child and one not so. I really can see it from both sides. Ds like lots of kids and not just boys either of course can't wait for sport's day.

The Dses school all do running but then they can choose another 'fun' race to be in, which I think is a good compromise. As I said earlier, DS1 isn't a natural runner - he used to lollop along with his arms and legs out of synch with each other, while doing a sort of windmill action with one arm. But then a kind (and sporty) friend took it upon himself to 'teach him how to run' - showed him how to do the proper 'running arms'- so that at least now he looks OK when he runs, even if he is still slow.

Come to think of it, I think our school does do that - that's why DS1(quite tall) is always in the race with the shortest children .

When I was in primary school we organised ourselves into heats. I always used to manoeuvre myself into the heat with the slowest kids, win the heat and then come last in the final!
Served me right really.

Always used to win the 'balancing book on the head' race though (have a flat head )