Streaming in junior school sports - DD devastated

[Meforthree]

How do people feel about streaming for sports in primary school? My kids are at an independent junior school. My 8-year-old DE has been doing hockey for several years outside school with many of her friends and also does the extra school’s hockey club. Today she found out she has been put in a different group from all her friends she plays hockey with - we all know it’s the “weaker” group, whatever word salad the school gives back if you ask them about their streaming… my DD isn’t one of the top athlete but if there are different hockey abilities I also know they’re marginal - they also streamed for the external hockey club and the girls (ie DD and her friends) are all in the same group.

Dd is devastated, particularly given that something very similar happened in swimming this year (they actually have
SIX groups in swimming, and she is the second one, so she’s still pretty good but not in the squad or with her friends).

A friend of mine with super sporty kid in an older year also said she felt they always pick her son for stuff he’s not even that good at because their way is basically to decide who the sporty kids re across the board and then just kind of give them everything so it really isn’t just me being a whinger cause my kid didn’t get picked for a team!

I’m not trying to make the school treat DD as a top athlete but if there’s only a marginal difference in skills (if that!) isn’t it more important to encourage enjoyment and reward commitment? There’s so much about girls losing sport in their teens and I just worry that’s what’s going to happen here as DD’s self esteem and enthusiasm is eroded…

My DC school does this at secondary level, but the only sports they are interested in are team sports that the school wants to field teams in. So you could be a future Olympic medal winner in a fairly mainstream individual sport (e.g. running, swimming) and you would be in the bottom PE set (yes this happened re. the Olympics) or a competitive team sport player that is not one of the school's sports and also be in the bottom set. It is very demoralising and frustrating for the very sporty kids who do not play the school's team sports. My theory was that the kids who are into team sports are already in local clubs getting taught and coached them, so the school does not have to do so. Certainly the bottom set kids are not taught how to play the team sports in any meaningful way, so there is no way for them to move up into the top set.

Our state primary (that I moved my children from in years 5 and 4) streamed sports by ability, and my eldest never got chance to play a competitive game as they only ever took their top team to fixtures and tournaments. When she moved to independent they had more teams so she got to play competitively (on the C team initially) and loved it! She’s on the A team now.

that just really isn’t the case - I’ve already said I didn’t mind the system when my son was in the lower groups.

I just want to feel like they’re making the decisions based on real things, that they’re transparent about that and that they’re taking enthusiasm and commitment into account, particularly when the differences are marginally. That’s just not the same as being annoyed my kid wasn’t picked for the top team.

I think it’s disgusting treatment of young children who are changing and growing and learning.

Sport should not make anyone feel excluded. What a terrible message to send.

Case in point: I’m appalling at most ball sports but I’m strong, fast and resilient ; as a kid I was good at sprinting and jumping but I preferred the challenge of longer distances, cross country and rowing. I became good at netball because I played every day for five years. But tennis, badminton, javelin, squash, gymnastics - hopeless.

How could you possibly set me?

I think it’s cruel to set children at such a young age when they have not yet learned to brook disappointment. Childhood is hard enough without school making you feel worthless

At my daughter’s school they set per sport. So she was in the top group for tennis and swimming when she started because she was good, but close to the bottom for hockey and netball because she had never played either sport before joining the independent school. She’s now in the top group for hockey and netball as she’s worked really hard and improved massively.
Obviously all kids are different but for my daughter, moving up the groups was a huge incentive for her to work hard and improve.

I have no idea how much you know about team sports op, but I have seen time and time again parents - if they don’t understand team sports - think their child is a higher level than they are. We had one girl on our hockey team whose mum thought she was the best in our team. She was the fastest. She was the most skilful. She ran the length of the pitch using marvellous stick skills to get past 5 opposition players. Brilliant? No. She was a nightmare because she never passed and she never scored. So the end result of her getting the ball was that our team lost the ball and we were all out of position. In the example above the sixth opponent took the ball off her.
keep the ball. Number one rule for team sports.

What motivated you to choose this school for your children op?

I think this seems fair enough

It’s also rubbish to play in a team where everyone else is better than you

I went to a hideously sporty school back in the dark ages

I would expect a private school to encourage competition in sport by having the A-team, B-team sort of culture. It’s obviously great for the kids at both extremes - the lowest group are more likely to be “brave” and give it a go as their peers will be a similar skill level to them and the highest group can be pushed further as they are more likely to achieve harder skills. Some schools attract parents specifically because of their sporty reputation - my brother had a full scholarship to a very sporty independent school because he was super sporty.

While your argument about the kids on the cusp of one group or another is valid, the line has to be drawn somewhere and will happen where kids need streaming eg maths The ideal is that they practice more so that they are picked for the higher group next time an assessment happens but I understand that some kids might not feel the inclination to do that.

If you picked a selective school on purpose then yabu to be annoyed because your dd didn’t benefit from the selectiveness.

I get it but that’s not applicable here - as I mentioned in my original post DD was assessed in her external hockey club as being broadly the same level as her seven friends who are now all the top games group.

We chose it when we thought it was very inclusive. Which it isn’t, despite its marketing.Lots of parents annoyed with it in the same way we are!

I think this is an opportunity for you to work with your daughter on her self esteem and resilience. There will always be times in our lives when we are treated in a way we think is unfair, or are disappointed with something. It’s not easy but learning coping skills now will help her so much as an adult.

OP I think you make some good points and come across as balanced and reasonable. I think it’s worth arranging a quick chat with the head of sport to share your thoughts. There was a sense at one child’s school that girls sport in particular wasn’t being taken seriously and a couple of parents met with head of sport and a few helpful changes were made. I think as long as you don’t go in prepared for a big fight (it doesn’t sound like you will !) it’s worth a chat with head of sport

edited to add - I wouldn’t mention to your child that you’re doing this beforehand as it might embarrass them/make them feel awkward.

then they are not delivering on their promise. That’s not acceptable for a school you pay for. I would say something.

And the school has assessed her differently. How do you know which one is right and which one is wrong?

Not this type of school and it was many years ago, but our school put people in the lower group if they weren't there on assessment day (so you got kids who had swimming medals in the non-swimmer group, for example). Obviously silly as in they learned nothing all term, but we just all thought it was one of those things in life, and laugh at it, save your battles for something more serious.
This sort of thing will happen, unfortunately.