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Primary education

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Original poster

How to prepare ds if he is split from his bestest friend...

16 replies

ScoobyDoo · 02/07/2008 16:09

We will find out on friday the classes our children are going to be in when moving up to Yr 1, which is fab.

Now, ds has a friend, she is his best friend & vice versa, they are very good together, they bounce of each other & are so happy when together.

The class is going to split into 3, now how do i prepare ds that he might not be with his bestest friend? he is going to be heart broken & i know the tears will come, said friend will also be hard broken & tears also.

I am finding it very hard to have to deal with this, as we moved counties in feb & ds had to start school again after moving & has settled really well, i can't believe he is going to have to be split up & do this all again only 4 months on.

I was going to speak to the teachers & just mention the fact about his moving schools & his best friend etc but then i thought what will be will be, did i do the right thing?

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Original poster

ScoobyDoo · 02/07/2008 16:34

Maybe it was wrong, maybe it was right, maybe, maybe, maybe....

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Madlentileater · 02/07/2008 16:43

Hi- I clicked on this as I thought I could offer some comfort...DS was split with BF at that age, BF went to live 300 miles away! with occassional visits, friendship was maintained eventually family moved back (not because of the boys, I hasten to add)....so, in the light of that, your bf being in a different class is not so bad, is it? they can play atplaytime, after school etc...hth

BecauseImWorthIt · 02/07/2008 16:46

I would speak to the school and ask if they could be kept together - as long as there is no reason why they shouldn't be together (e.g. talking/distracting each other etc) then I think this wouldn't be unreasonable, especially given your very recent move.

Original poster

ScoobyDoo · 02/07/2008 16:55

Ah no it's probably to late though isn't it, thursday tomorrow...i bet lists have been done!

Never heard anything bad about them only ever heard that they are great together & bounce of each other for all sorts i:e confidence etc..

Maybe i should corner a teacher in the morning?

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ChopsTheDuck · 02/07/2008 16:55

They do this in my ds's school, but they are pretty good at keeping friends together, so it usually works quite well. I agree though, if you are concerned it might be worth mentioning considering you moved recently.

Original poster

ScoobyDoo · 02/07/2008 16:56

Mad i know what your saying, your situation is worse, ds has been in that situation before when he went to nursery he was very close to a little girl they became great friends, she then moved away but funny enough we have now moved only 30 minutes up the road from her & her & ds are still very close & see each other now & then

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BecauseImWorthIt · 02/07/2008 16:57

I would.

On the other hand (and this was my first thought, until I saw that your ds has only just moved) was that this is all part of growing up. They are at least still at the same school and if it's a good friendship then it will survive via the playground and after school play dates.

RusselBrussel · 02/07/2008 16:58

I think if it is very obvious your ds and this girl are best friends (as in obvious to the teachers) and they are not disruptive when together, they will keep them together. Am sure the teachers will bear your ds's recent school move in mind and will try t make this next change as easy as possible for him [smil]

Original poster

ScoobyDoo · 02/07/2008 16:59

Well these are my thoughts exactly, thats why i have held off because i keep thinking ds will get to meet new & bond with others, but he keeps on & i am now thinking is this going to affect him more than i originally thought..

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Original poster

ScoobyDoo · 02/07/2008 16:59

Well these are my thoughts exactly, thats why i have held off because i keep thinking ds will get to meet new people & bond with others, but he keeps on & i am now thinking is this going to affect him more than i originally thought..

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cory · 02/07/2008 17:19

Being in different classes may not mean that much anyway as long as they stay in the same school.

If the school has ability sets, they may well end up in the same sets for some subjects anyway; or else, they might have ended up in different groups even if they had been in the same class.

It won't mean they can't socialise at breaktime or that their best friend won't be their best friend. Neither ds nor dd has been in the same class as their best friend for the last 3 years; they still find each other at every breaktime and come over to each other's houses after school.

Make it absolutely clear to your ds that you can still be best friends with somebody in the other class- he may not have thought of that.

Original poster

ScoobyDoo · 02/07/2008 19:40

So shall i leave it or should i mention it tomorrow morning?

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Littlefish · 02/07/2008 19:45

I agree with Cory.

Also. the teachers will have a good idea of friendship groups. If they have decided to split your ds and his friend, then they may have good reasons for doing so.

I would just wait and see what happens.

miacis · 02/07/2008 20:38

For what it's worth I'm in the same situation. Was advised by teacher (who is wonderful) not to say anything to head who can be very contrary and could split them deliberately

Tricky but on the positive side having got a sound base if they are might encourage your little one to make friends with others.

fingers crossed.

ja9 · 02/07/2008 20:44

ime (as primary teacher) they will be just fine if split. it is likely that even if in same class they would not be doing things together in school - reading groups, numeracy groups, seating plan etc. then it will be playtime / lunchtime and they will all be out playing together anyway. please don't fret about it.

Original poster

ScoobyDoo · 04/07/2008 14:01

Well decided to leave it & what will be will be, ds has lots of friends & is very sociable, i am sure he will be fine, she is his special friend & it will be sad but like others have said i have told him he will see her at playtime etc.

Will find out in an hour, i just hope ds is happy with his new teacher & class

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