poor ds has just blown his piano exam

[fircone]

he came out of the examination room in floods of tears. He is not a namby-pamby cry-baby, and has done several exams before. But on this occasion he says his hands slipped off the piano during one of his pieces, and then he couldn't get going again and the examiner got a bit impatient. (Ds is 9, by the way.)

I've told him to forget it and I'm making him his favourite tea. Is this the right thing to say?

Oh yes.

Examiner was pretty mean I would have said.

My music exams used to make me more nervous than any other exam I have ever done.

I would get his teacher to query why your son was treated this way. At 9 I think they need a little more help than this.

Oh your poor DS. That sounds fine. You could throw something earnest and well-meaning about how everyone has to fluff an exam at some stage. Oh and does he do cuddles?

Oh yes, I don't know what it is about music exams - there's SO much pressure.

Give him lots of cuddles, lots of treats and only when he's ready, let him know that he can always take it again, but he might be pleasantly surprised at how he really did.

Major cuddles watching a bit of Wimbledon. He now says he hates piano, though.

Maybe it wasn't so bad -- when do you find out? Or do you already know for sure that it was blown?

(I fluffed Grade 8 and never retook it )

Well, ds says that he couldn't do the 'listening bit' because he was desperately trying not to cry and so couldn't speak, and the only section that went fine was the scales.

they hold exams fairly frequently don't they? Can he retake with same pieces?

Music exams hold memories of terror only surpassed by my A level exams.

He did his best - who could ask for more.

Fave tea is definitely the way to go.

And at the examiner for being impatient with a 9 year old over something like this.

What a horrible examier

I'm not particularly sticking up for the examiner but they only have something like 10 mins per exam, depending on what grade it is, and probably have to keep it all moving.

I only say this because I thought an examiner should have cut my DS some slack and then someone I know who is an examiner told me this, and however much they'd like to be sympathetic and have all the time in the world etc, they just can't.

I never did any music exams at all. I learned the oboe for 7 years, played reasonably well, was a member of various orchestras etc, but never did any exams. I used to get horibly nervous at the thought, had neither the intention, dedication nor ability to develop it seriously, and my teacher and parents agreed that it was unnecessary.

I'm the only person I know who had lessons for so long with not even a grade 3 to show for it though

horribly

music exams are terrifying! Right up there with my driving test.

Your poor ds.

music exams made me physically ill as a child and put me off playing music for years. I would seriously question whether they are worth the effort if your child really hates them.

definitely tell him not to worry about it. My family were totally unmusical and unpushy and this really helped me gain perspective when I was terrified of failing the exams.