Would it be reasonable to join a waiting list after choosing reception?

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Hi. Hoping for some kind words of rational advice or experience.

My child is at a preschool attached to a school. We had another school as our first choice, such a lovely school but we gave it up and decided to stay at current school for reception which is also a lovely school and at the time we were torn between the two. If I’m honest I found the whole school thing a very anxious time and my mental health was struggling when we finalised the decision. I just wanted whats best for DC and lost sight of long term.

The reception where we will be is very linked to the preschool building so it’s a gentle transition for my little one and a bigger transition at year 1 to new building etc.

I may sound crazy but I am really doubting our decision to stay put, for a number of reasons. The other school is undoubtedly just a little more ambitious not just in academics but also experiences. Both schools have their positives but I’m doubting long term if it’s right here. I think we are comparing Good to Very Good. Would I be mad to put ourselves on the waiting list for in years transfer to the other school so that if in a year or more this ones not working out we can assess and move should the place come up? They may think I’m crazy for declining. I obviously wouldn’t want our current school to know. Both schools are very local under 15 min walk

Just to add - this is for reception 2026-2027.

Imo it doesn't really matter if it looks reasonable to others - it's the next 7 yrs of your child's life so you want to make a decision you're happy with.

(But then I visited our local schools three times each because I couldn't decide. At one point the teacher actually said "you're here again?!)

(do consider that they might have space immediately or very soon and what you would do on that situation)

Thank you. I feel so stupid for letting go of our first choice. There were reasons at the time but it’s not stacking up for me now. I keep trying to think are the reasons I want it for me or DC. So that’s where the struggle would come in for us. What made you realise that you’d made the right choice after the 3 visits? Lightbulb moment or you decided to go with one and stick with it?

DH preferred one, and DC was at preschool there and had another good friend joining at reception, so I just went with it in the end.

I still kind of prefer the other in principle (more child led etc) but actually DC loves the structure at the school we chose and is very happy there, so I believe we made the right choice.

That’s great that it worked out for you all. Thanks for sharing

First of all, deep breath. Reminds yourself there is no “wrong” or “bad” outcome here - whatever happens your DC will be at a school you like and are happy with. There are two good schools, they have different pros and cons. If you stay, you will never know what it would have been like if you’d moved. If you move, you’ll never know what it would have been like if you’d stayed. But you can eat yourself wondering about that. Pointless, and interferes with you enjoying the here and now.

I’d put your DC on the waiting list for the other school and forget about it. If a place comes up, worry about it then. Do remember though - you need the right school for you particular child, and that won’t necessarily be the one that’s more academic or more sporty or whatever.

Thank you. I really appreciate this . I would like to put us on the waiting list too. It’s a very popular school so who knows if we’d even get it again. Really want to spend the summer ahead feeling at peace and helping my little one get excited for big school.

Then put him on the waiting list and try to forget about it. Enjoy the summer with your DC knowing that either way he’s going somewhere good. It may be you are transferring some of your natural nervousness about this next step and how he’ll settle down into fixating on this issue. Which would be totally normally!

If you go on the waiting list and get offered a place partway through the year, you will have limited time to accept and take up the place, which could be quite disruptive and unsettling; I think there needs to be a definite benefit to make that worth it.
Bear in mind that the waiting list is not ordered by how long you've been on it, but by the admissions criteria. If you decide in a year's time that the current school is not working out, and join the waiting list then, you'll be in the same place on the list as you would be if you joined it now.

I think you might do better to just go with the school place you have; it sounds as if it's a good school. I think sometimes people are too anxious about finding the "best possible" school for their child - who can know for sure which would work out best for any particular child? If you've got a good school, that's fine.

I would stick with the school you have accepted, and which you have talked about with your child as a done deal and where your child is already known and settled.

The important thing is that your child feels secure in reception, they will pick up on any talk about changing schools . Support the school they will be attending, help your child to navigate the change to reception. To be honest , if both schools are half way decent the education they will be offering to reception/ Y1 will be very similar.

if in a couple of years time you change your mind then apply for an in school place at the second school in Y3 when infant class size rules are relaxed a bit and many children make a change of school eg state to private. your child will have the basics embedded and curriculum / procedural changes will be easier to absorb.