How to retain mixed gender friendships in Reception?

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What's been your experience of kids either gravitating towards kids of the same gender, or not, when they start school? My son's friends at nursery are all girls. They're all heading to the same primary soon and noticed his friends have started to pull towards other girls on our street or want to say "I don't want to play with Harry - girls only!!" recently.
Another mum has the opposite. Her tomboy girl wants to muck around with her mates who happen to be boys, and they're saying she can't play as she's a girl. Is this the type of thing that just happens around age 5?
Would love my son to keep his group but I can see it splintering. He has no proper concept of girls or boys being different in terms of play or games.

My DS just finished year 2 (international school) and still has predominantly female friends. He did start ballet this year which has helped a lot. So it can happen. We’re in a country with quite rigid gender roles now so this has been a massive relief that the girls just accepted him (and that the school weren’t weird about him wanting to be the only boy doing ballet). He’s always got on better with girls than boys.

DD(5) is in year 1 and her classmates seemed to mainly gravitate towards the same gender as soon as they started reception. There is a bit of overlap but the gender split at class parties is quite stark. I’m not sure how to address it, DD has loads of play dates with one of our close-knit friendship group from nursery who is a boy, we’ve been on hols with them numerous times, and the kids barely acknowledge each others existence at school.

My DDs have mostly had girls as friends. My eldest had a little best friend who was a boy in reception but it fizzled out about half way through the year because he “wanted to play football with the boys” my DD wasn’t interested in football so not like they weren’t letting her play, she didn’t want to.

My youngest DDs class is smaller and she and some of the other girls play football with boys at playtime, but her best friends are all girls.

I would never have said my DDs couldn’t be friends with boys, but in my experience they naturally prefer to play with kids of their own sex. I think there are always exceptions too but generally boys and girls do play a bit differently (I have only DDs but several nephews and friends with boys and they are different!)

I teach Reception. I'm not going to say I've never heard "you can't play because you're a boy" (or girl), because it does occasionally happen, but we simply deal with it through conversation and move on. It's no different to any other "you can't play because..." argument.

Generally, most children are happy to play with anyone at this age. Some do naturally gravitate to their own sex (or children of the opposite sex, as you've found with your son) but excluding people because of their sex has never been a major issue in any of my classes.

Both of my DC tended to have friends of the same sex at school. When we went out with family friends it was a mixed group, and they did mix a bit, but soon drifted back into single sex groups. Having said that, the adults also tended to split into sex-based groups too.

By the time my DC were in Y6 they were thoroughly sick of the opposite sex and happily went to single sex secondary schools.

Now that they are adults, both have mixed friendship groups.

Dd is in year 1 and only has friends who are boys. My worry is what will happen when the sports teams start to be split into boys/ girls, plus the secondaries round here are all
single sex.

Have now had 2 girls through primary
Both yeargroups had mixed parties until maybe y3 but then now the boys play more football at school it became split. My girls have both ended up with the boys and its been a mistake. (Dd1 also due to secondary lbgt clubs etc decided trans at secondary). But also has struggled a lot to have to be in girl groups as they can be excluding and chat about stuff she isnt interested in.
Dd2 has ended up with the boys - she had been with the girls till y4. But hasnt been accepted by the boys really as no party invites from them.

If i were the type to steer kids i would on reflection steer towards the same sex. You and your kid maybe fine with mixed sex but doesnt mean all other kids or parents are. And can exclude.

Also its meant that mine havent built up understanding of.whqt girls are like so dc1 made some.mistakes. She owned up to something which obviously was going to be used against her by the girls and it was.

Also in the older yeargroups choosing opposite sex because its easier can be a sign of asd.

Encourage them to do drama or Scouts or climbing or sailing or something that isn't teams of just girls or teams of just boys, and it also gives them friends outside of those they are at school with, which is also healthy.

I have three boys and they have always had girls as friends (eldest is Y5). I feel they need a balance - parties with just boys are hell, so I encourage these friendships / play dates. Plus helps a lot of my friends have girls!
My youngest is in reception and plays happily with both boys and girls. In fact he had a joint party with two classmates (girls) for his birthday.

I do think some parents encourage ‘girls only’ or ‘boys only’ tbh and I don’t like it

They (she has a twin brother) do beavers, and dd is one of 2 girls, with 30 boys. She got a place at Rainbows but wanted to do squirrels at the time with her brother. They also do rugby and cricket, and at both she is the only girl. I need to think of something else that might be more mixed…!

My DD8 is in a very small school, until recently there 4 boys and 1 girl in her year. This wasn't an issue at all until the end of year 2. Fortunately 3 more girls have joined in year 3 as she was starting to be left out by the boys whilst at school but her best friend is still the same boy as since reception and they still have a great time on playdates.

The important thing is that your child makes friends who they are comfortable with. Engineering your child’s friendships rarely works. If you want to seek out mixed sex activities then Woodcraft is mixed, and go for Cubs rather than Brownies.

Personally I think it is a positive thing for girls to learn they have a voice and opinions that matter , all too often, especially in classroom situations ( and it gets worse as they get older) boys voices are heard more than girls voices, so all girl activities can give less confident girls a chance to be heard.

My DS had friends of both genders through Y2, but he seemed to be one of the few boys in the class that year who was still hanging with the girls, and he really shifted towards hanging mostly with the boys the next year.

My younger DD is in Y2 and is a tomboy and primarily hangs with the boys. It will be interesting to see how it goes next year.

Dd (8, yr 3) has always had a mix-sex group of friends and that remains true. Most of her closest friends are boys, but she also has some very close girl friends. We never discuss it, I don't think she even considers it, and she is just sees them all as her friends.

I actually think encouraging sons to be friends with girls is a key part of preventing them believing the bullshit like the manosphere rubbish. Seeing girls as normal people you can talk with, laugh with, empathise with and share with is absolutely key to boys not treating girls like a weird other species. NEVER tease a son about girls as if they are a girlfriend etc. Just normalise friendships regardless of gender. My sons have been friends with girls throughout school (now young men) and I can see how there's now no weirdness about just knowing girls and being friends. In my experience the girl-mums were the problems here and were a bit precious about their girls not being friends with boys (sure some girl-mums were ok but if there was anyone wanting to separate the boys and girls, it was the girl-mums). So yeah, encourage their friendships as much as possible as I think it's really important. Things like parties - if they mention friends as girls, avoid a party focus that you think might alienate them, so it is an activity everyone can enjoy.