Reception child unhappy about going to school, is this a concern to raise with them?

[Voltefarce]

Hello all, would love to get some perspective from other parents of reception/yr 1 children. My son is in reception and he really does not like school. Every morning he asks whether it’s the weekend, he says he doesn’t want to go to school, he is sometimes difficult to get to the school gate in the mornings. On school days, he complains he’s tired and doesn’t want to get up, whereas at the weekend he springs out of bed.

I know that some children are less keen on school than others, but in all honesty I was not expecting this for reception. It makes me very nervous for the rest of his schooling.

Are there other parents in this position? I’d be so grateful for experiences. I have a meeting with the school tomorrow but wanted to get some input as to whether it’s a valid point to raise as a concern.

I’m having similar struggles with DD7, who is in year 2. She sailed through reception and year 1 without issue. I would mention it, so they can keep an eye on him and see what might be bothering him. For my DD she worries about not having anyone to play with at playtime.

Definitely mention it. They might help to understand why. They might not, but that's ok.

I'd definitely mention it as it's massively affecting his day to day happiness. They might already know what it is he finds hard, or if not can keep a closer look.

Thank you!

Lots of questions here. Is he young for the year? Is he finding it all too much? Reception is all play based so try understand why

@Funkylights He’s not young for the year, he has a December birthday. When we ask him, he just says that he’s so bored learning all day. My main concern is that it is meant to be play-based, so if he’s bored now then we are in for a very rough ride.

Yes agree OP reception is normally like an extension of nursery. No desks & chairs, formal lessons etc Free flow, short burst learning in an interactive way. Lots outdoor play. Or as a Dec born is he finding it too easy?!?

Which actually makes me think - what does he love at weekends that makes school feel a chore?

My DDs did writing, craft and colouring at tables as well as group work. It really was not all play. She wanted to learn to read and phonics isn’t play either. (Although phonics wasn’t the only method used). So yes, he’s learning in a non playing way because he needs to use scissors, glue things, hold a pencil and write, learn the boring phonics etc. Maybe he just doesn’t want to do it yet? My friends DS didn’t enjoy YR. He’d rather not have gone to school but when he got a sense of pride in achieving something, it got easier.

What do you say when he says he doesn't want to go? I was a teacher for a decade and part of my role was improving attendance for children who 'didn't want to come to school.' Absolutely not anyone's fault but often the parent's reaction made the whole situation worse and what we were really dealing with was a control battle, cry for attention or similar.
I think you can talk to school about it but at reception age, I wouldn't be talking to him much about it at all. Sometimes all the talking makes the child think it's worse, or the enjoy the attention of the questions and the why not, and the seriousness and eventually the battle of getting in every day.
My own reception child went through a phase of saying she didn't want to go and I just responded with a 'hmm' every time and didn't engage on it. So you're acknowledging it but that's it. Obviously we had regular chats about school and nothing in particular was bothering her so it was just a case of acknowledge and move on.
We might feel like we don't want to go to work for a day but we know it's just because home is better - doesn't mean we need a chat with the boss or lots of extra support.

Also 'he just says that he’s so bored learning all day. My main concern is that it is meant to be play-based, so if he’s bored now then we are in for a very rough ride.'
Boredom is a complex feeling for a reception child to comprehend. What they really mean is it's less fun than something else, like playing in the paddling pool all weekend eating ice cream. It's normal to feel that way. Probably his teachers will say he's absolutely fine and school and enjoys it. Children need to learn to be in different environments and it's normal to have different feelings about them (like we do).

@User543211 we don’t talk about it all the time, and the reaction is generally “OK, but you still have to go”. If we talk about it then I make sure there is a clear separation.

Ds didn't like school from the get-go. He's now at uni and still says school was rubbish and the best year was the one where he spent most of it out for Covid.

He was actually better in year 1 when they did more formal work. What he especially hated was all the noise and bustle in year R when they did a small group at a time for "work" and he had all that distraction, couldn't hear (glue ear) and definitely did not want to do it.

When he was 6th form we were leaving one morning and this little girl came skipping up the road with Mummy and called out "it's my first day at school" - so excited! Ds waited until she'd gone and sighed heavily "she's soon learn it's nothing to be excited about" he said. 🤣

I would let school know. Ds had the issue that he was dreadful to get there, then walked in as though it was no problem, so he didn't get any adjustments that they were putting in for those who were fine on the way and cried at entrance. Afterwards the teacher said to me that if she'd known how difficult he'd found it, then she'd have put some things in place for him.

I just kept on going with the "have to go", and he did get through it, although he still looks on it as being a total waste of his time.

My DDs were excited by school. They enjoyed the curriculum. One had “enthusiastic” on every report several times. Other DD enjoyed some aspects but probably not everything. The curriculum is poor if a dc enjoys nothing. Plus they won’t make it super fun just for DS. So it’s best to be positive about things they enjoy. Find something! Some dc like sport, or art or listening to a story. Even the dc who got to Oxbridge weren’t bored!