Starting primary school in September and feeling anxious as a SAHM

[Sally050608]

Hi any advice for a SAHM with one child who is starting school this September? I’m feeling so lost, emotional and anxious about it all, going to be such a big change for us both. He does go to pre school a few mornings a week but we literally do everything together. I am sending him in for full days x2 after half term hoping that will help us. Please just tell me I’m not alone!!

I’d suggest sending him to nursery full time leading up to starting school - a smoother transition moving forward with his friends. DT’s were excited to be leaving nursery and starting “big school “.
Are you returning to work now?

I assumed from your thread title that you meant you were becoming a teacher.

Look into returning to work yourself, or volunteering. Or do a qualification. Don’t fritter time away just waiting for your child to get home.

OP, IMO children start school ridiculously young in the U.K. It just serves as childcare for working couples. You can probably ask to volunteer a bit in his class and see him enjoy himself among other young students.

Try to ignore judgy people about being a SAHM. You are providing something others can’t (and they may be insecure about that). Hopeful there will be other SAHMs at the school your DS is going to.

When DC’s are at school, what are stay at home parents providing that working parents aren’t.

I'm a SAHM, you do need to make sure you sell it as an exciting time, not an 'I'll miss you' one.

You also need plans for yourself. I got involved in listening to children read at school, the PTA, and was on hand to assist on school trips (not only DD's class, and when I went with her class I asked not to have her in my group.) I was sometimes asked at short notice because they knew I was available and was a safe pair of hands.

You will be able to get all the jobs / admin done between 9 & 3 so that when the DC is home you can be there to do reading practice and play games and just chill.

I loved being a SAHM and I was lucky to be able to do so.

You're not alone, I found it a really hard transition myself. I had to really focus on how it was the right thing for my child and that my child was thriving at school. It felt a bit like a grief but it was a grief that could be worked through.

My youngest is starting reception in September and I already have a long list of tasks I need to catch up with when she starts! I will have no problems filling the time and I have no plans to return to work (and no financial need to).

I think most dcs will have been attending nursery/preschool for more than 2 days, since there is funding for it. My dc does the equivalent of 4 full days, spread over 5.

Before rushing straight into the default suggestions of volunteering in school and extra housework, or getting a job, take some time to think about/explore what it is that makes you feel fulfilled and happy, and investigate what activities are available within travelling distance of your dc's school. There may be courses you have never had the chance to do, creative arts, fitness or practical skills, or just making the most of where you live and visiting things like exhibitions and attractions in peace. It's absolutely fine to spend the school hours doing these things just for you, after all you have already sacrificed so much of your time to benefit your family already.

I'd love to be a SAHP to a school age child, hats off for you doing the hardest part so far. There are so many holidays, training days, trips, assemblies, meetings, clubs - it would be so nice to do all of that without navigating wraparound care, to let them do the after school activities they want without overwhelming them or your schedule.

I was so sad about sending mine to school but knew, like nursery, it would be fine. Its amazing how much they learn. And they are are around so much, its constant holidays!

IMO, it was one of the best days of my life. However the day, they left school was even better! I’d had enough of schools by then - having two children with SEN and schools just failed to recognise all their problems!

I work FT and have done since my children were 7mo.

I just want to say I really immensely value SAHP in my children’s classes and think they provide wonderful care to their own kids in the main, but also help the school usually in the ways above. I just can’t do PTA and lots of trips; we do help with the school fairs and I went on my ‘trip of the year’ today but I really value the PTA and what those who have made the choice to spend more time on their children’s lives contribute. I can’t imagine how hard it is for you but in my experience SAHP who contribute a couple of hours of their week to school are the backbone of the school community and mak a huge difference to us all. Thank you in advance for anything you choose to do and good luck!