Anyone else feeling emotional about their youngest leaving primary school?

[Chlocot]

Sounds pathetic but I'm really struggling emotionally with my youngest leaving primary school, is it just me?
I honestly feel heartbroken. I'm in tears writing this. Like sob everytime I think about it.
I know moving to high school is a normal part of growing up, but I can’t stop feeling like such a magical, innocent chapter is ending.
Primary school feels like this safe little bubble of childhood, the plays, the sound of singing in the school hall, playground games, role play, the softer days, being truly known by teachers, the excitement over little things.
And now it feels like she’s being thrown into a world of timetables, homework, exams, pressure, bigger expectations, peer influence, older kids, worrying about appearance, fitting in, and suddenly being just another number in a huge system.

I know children grow and this is life, but I feel overwhelmingly sad that the carefree life of being little seems to disappear so quickly. I hate the thought of stress replacing play before they even feel ready.
I keep grieving not just her leaving primary school, but the loss of that innocence, that protected stage of childhood.

Did anyone else feel like this? Does it get easier? Did your child keep their spark and joy in high school, or did you feel like childhood changed overnight?

OP I remember feeling just like this (although it hit me on his last day). I sat on my bed having a cry over his red school jumper! However…this next few weeks post SATs is amazing and I hope you can put yourself in the moment and enjoy it. Year seven, for my boy was quite a gentle transition. Although it was nothing like post SATs junior school, the teachers did inject a little fun into school life. My boy (although summer born) also enjoyed being treated in a more grown up way and liked the subject specific teachers. In my experience, they tend to grow up in year nine (I have three DS) - you have a few years of them being just kids yet!

I cried for a week when my eldest left ! Time
moves on though and now my youngest is about to leave secondary. I soon got over not doing the school run! I am now building my career back up which involves evening social events - I don’t worry about having to rush back anymore. It’s sad but look at the positives as well! Yes secondary school brings other worries but they are starting to become independent - this is what it’s all about after all.

Oh, I’m with you. My oldest is in y6 and I had a cry the other week when we got an email about the leavers assembly. 😭

To add some balance I can’t wait for mine to leave! Try focusing on all the shit bits! I dislike so much about my child’s primary. My child has had a particularly shit week so….
Focus on the independence, the new opportunities, the freshness of the change! Get excited about it and hope for a great new chapter!

Oh yes. Real pangs of time slipping away.

@ThatFlakyGuide oh yes, not having to worry about the school run and dress up days and bring a cake in… also great pluses!

Not here. Sadly my yr6 has had a really tough time, lots of bullying and unhappy times. Until this point he (and we) adored his primary school, but they've let him down horrendously in his last year. In contrast, his incoming secondary has already made him feel more settled, secure and welcome (partly because the bullies aren't going to be there).

I know the reality is when it comes to it, there will be emotions (especially as his AMAZING best friend is off to a different secondary), so I'm not dismissing the majority who will feel heavy from this, but he's been ready for moving on for months now so we're approaching it with excitement for him.

They way we see it, his world is about to become so full of opportunities - more friends to make (or not 😬), more sports and hobbies to try, more things to learn, and yes more mistakes to make... but ultimately more room to grow, find himself and thrive ❤️

Yes I feel the same. She is my fourth and youngest so real end of a era. Ds14 is in year 9 and is still can't even look at his leavers book. God that was a painful day. The good thing is that mainly they take it in their stride

Both of mine are thriving in secondary. The last couple of years in primary were blighted by an insistence on preparing the dc for what the teachers imagined secondary would be like.

I was dreading secondary because I’d become “that parent” who was into the school every couple of weeks about my autistic ds. But secondary was a revelation - they wanted my input, supported ds, helped him find his feet, nurtured his interests and supported him at every turn. Dd is more capable, and has loved the independence, and responsibilities and opportunities.

And I cannot tell you how lovely it is to be away from the school gate experience! To be free from incessant demands for red/blue/green/yellow/book day, charity donations, cake sales, reading volunteers etc.

Wait till they’re on the verge of finishing secondary school and the big world is beckoning. Now that’s scary and is there before you know it!

I do actually. I never thought I was going too. He’s my youngest out of three and the emotion is building. He’s also going to a different secondary school to his friends so I think that’s compounding it. My last child at primary and I already know that’s it. Childhood over come September.

Oh and my eldest is leaving secondary too. FML 😔

I can't wait for my youngest to finish primary school
No more school runs, no making conversation with people where the only thing we have in common is that our children are in the same class.
Cannot wait!!!

Nope. I thought I would but 90% of the families weren't nice and the teachers didn't treat my eldest very well, a referral to neurodevelopment was made in last term of yr 6 for them . So I felt nothing.

@Figgygal

No one speaks at my kids school. They used too when they went to the local, affluent village school (which was nosy and suffocating) but then we moved area. Their school now is a small school in a really deprived area. Parents are pleasant but no one speaks and it’s great 🤣. There are children in my sons class who I don’t even know their names, and zero clue who their parents are.

I am looking forward to no school runs though 🙌.

Mine is also finishing primary this year. I don’t feel sad (yet!) but excited for this next phase of her life. No doubt I’ll be a mess when it comes to prom and her leavers assembly. She’s promised me some tear jerking songs will be sung 🥹.

Ohhh I love this ❤️

Working in primary, I get this a little bit every year! One year they made a video and included sped up shots of looking in all the classrooms empty. I hadn't even worked with that particular year group and I was in bits! Now I have a child of my own about to leave reception and I'm getting the same sort of feelings as we're about to mostly wave goodbye to play based learning! I don't feel like my parents would've felt the same way as primary schools were a more fun place back in the day weren't they? God knows what I'll feel like at the end of Y6, especially as I don't like any of the secondaries in our area. We might have to move!

I suppose the best you can do is just add enrichment outside of school and keep the vibes surrounding school as light as possible from your end.

I hope your child has a smooth transition to secondary. How did you feel about yours? I remember quite enjoying feeling a bit more grown up. Maybe try to find what positives you can/what areas give most enjoyment and focus on those.

SOBBING as we speak after our leavers performance last night! It's my last baby and how on earth has 10 years of primary gone just like that! AWWW MAN!!!

No.

It really wasn't a 'thing' when I was growing up that parents would be sobbing over their DC leaving primary. And there weren't leavers hoodies or proms till the end of secondary.

I also think it's naive to think primary is a lovely innocent bubble of childhood as it really isn't for a lot of DC.

But I admit i'm jaded as work in the youth sector and know the truely awful things going on in primary in regards to violence, DC bringing in weapons, sexual exploitation including DC exploiting each other on social media.

If I didn't know those things I might think differently.

Yes!!!
You have described exactly how I feel. My children (who are both in the same year at school - same class, in fact - being only ten months apart in age) now have two days left before the summer and to say I am devastated is an understatement! I have cried off and on for the last two weeks at the most random reminders. Yesterday I announced to another Mum in passing, “It’s the last Thursday.” As if to excuse the misery on my face as I left the school gates and I immediately thought, ‘Shut up! What did you blurt that out for? ‘It’s the Thursday…’ she’ll think I’m mad!” But the other Mum just nodded and looked as sad as me. So I think it is normal to feel some degree of sadness and loss: we are grieving the end of an era but while it’s okay to sit and have a good cry and get it all out, afterwards, when we’re ready, it’s equally good to start allowing ourselves to feel proud and celebrate how far we’ve all came as a family. I’m going to ask my children about all the things they’re looking forward to (and reassure than and try to infuse them with confidence on the things they aren’t) and really get excited with them. I know my daughter is looking forward to joining the drama group and my son is looking forward to learning the violin (😳 🙈😂) so I’m going to try to catch some of their happiness and enthusiasm along the way. As Mums, if our children are happy, we usually are as well. It’s all we every want for trhem. So maybe by reassuring myself how happy and confident my children are, it will help me feel less anxious and more positive about the transition. And it’s important to remember, we never stop being Mums, no matter how old they get. I always needed and wanted my Mam. Shows she just did a fab job.
We’ve came this far… We’ve got this! 😘 xxx

Yes, youngest dc finished primary school today. I’ve cried a few times this week but of course today was the worst of it! It’s an odd feeling when they finish primary school, it’s fab that they’re moving on to the next stage, but it’s been a fairly big part of our lives and routine for so long it does feel weird when it’s actually over, more so when it’s your last dc. It’s not unexpected but when it happens all the emotions just hit me at once.

Having been through this with older dc though, whilst you may always feel a slight pang, I certainly do sometimes, the intense emotions around this time do pass and you do move on and start a new normal. You can’t not really, life goes on. Last time it took me a few days into the summer holidays before my nervous system calmed down and returned to normal. I wasn’t crying all the time or anything, that peaked on the last day, but still needed time to process the emotions and get my head around it all.

Some people like you, me and others on this thread find it rough experiencing these emotions so intensely but It does get easier. The last day is almost a ripping off the bandaid moment, it’s happening no matter how painful you find it, then after that once summer holidays start, it begins to get easier.

Yes! This is where I am at. My eldest is in year 9 and I've been looking forward to it until the leavers play! Then it hit me. Plus someone sent a sad video on Facebook which compounded it. We have the leavers assembly on Wednesday which is our last day. It's going to hit me all over again! So I'm not done yet. Last time I settled too after a few days into the holiday so looking forward to that settling down! God know what we will be like when they leave home!!!

Having worked in similar sectors to yourself and know all about the goings on, surely you must know that’s not the reality in every single primary school? You’re actually naive if you think all year 6s have had to deal with violence or social media bullying.

My son had a lovely 7 years thank you very much.

I do think some schools go a bit ott with the leaving stuff fuelling a sort of grief that is a bit unnecessary. I think it’s normal to feel the passing of time and the community built up in primary especially for kids that entered as tiny little people in reception but my school seems to go for sadness in a way that feels a bit unhelpful. Do they really need to be practising singing sad songs for 6 weeks on the trot for example? I really think the focus should be on the next step and gaining independence as well as celebrating achievements and experiences rather than sadness at leaving.

These kids are growing up and gaining independence. Yes primary can be lovely but you can see they are generally ready for a bit more challenge and a broadening of friendship groups etc.