How to manage a disruptive friendship in a one form entry reception class

[spaceplanets]

Hi, my five year old ds (reception) is friends with another boy in his class, but the friendship is not a positive one. Both boys seem to bring out the worst in one another and when together get so silly it almost tips over into mania and certainly when my ds is like that it’s hard getting through to him.

I am worried this is affecting him academically and socially.

It’s a one form entry school so it isn’t as if I can ask for him to be moved into another class, which would be my preference and I imagine the teachers too because it must be exhausting to manage.

I have spoken to ds about his behaviour at home but when he’s with this other child it just seems to go out of the window and they whip one another up into a frenzied state.

Does anyone have any advice on how to best manage this? I really am worried about poor behaviour and the knock on effect on him and everyone else.

Is this actually happening in school / an issue reported to you? Or what you're seeing out of school.
Can they be separated during carpet time, then only one term until year 1 which will be more structured so they can be kept apart more easily at tables if needed.

Thank you for replying. It’s both. I know that they are separated at school as much as possible but they gravitate back to one another at social times and of course in reception it’s harder to keep them apart. Hopefully things may change in year 1. I have to admit I am concerned - I don’t want my ds to be the cause of poor behaviour in the class but equally I am finding myself a bit lost as to how to deal with it as I’m telling him the right things but when they are together they set one another off and become unmanageable.

Hello! So interested in your post as my DS (4.5) is exactly the same with his friend. Actually it's a 2 form intake, but they mix across the 2 classes in reception so they still play together lots. They were in the same school nursery class and we asked for them to be in different classes in reception.
Our main concern is the social side of things because our son thinks that certain behaviours are hilarious (such as clinging into someone until they fall over, shouting loud repetitive nonsense) when actually they're really irritating and off-putting presumably for most kids in his class. Interested to see if anyone has suggestions - apologies that I do not! But you have my sympathy.

It’s a huge worry for me @GhostJnr . He just turns into a different child around this other boy which isn’t to try to place blame or point the finger, it’s more to explain it’s a follower and leader situation. Put ds in a room with fairly well behaved children and he’s brilliant; put one slightly disregulated child in there too and he becomes disregulated.

I wish I had an answer for you and for me. I’m planing on talking to his teacher again this week but it’s a small class and realistically he won’t avoid this child even if he could.

This is sadly a common problem in one form entry classes, not being able to split children who are not a good mix. I have several pairing like this right now in my own Reception class 😬

I'm sure the teacher is doing their best to separate them in class (different carpet spaces, lunch tables etc) but, as you say, it's not easy in Reception with so much free time in continuous provision. Those children always seem to find their way back to each other! It should be easier to separate them in Year 1, with different tables etc, but that obviously won't erase the potential for issues on the playground.

Are there any other children he likes in the class, who are a slightly calmer influence? You could attempt to push him towards others by arranging playdates out of school etc. The more time he spends with other children, he may start to eventually gravitate more naturally to them at playtime, rather than the other child (especially if they've been to his house and he's played down the park with them etc). It's my only suggestion I'm afraid and is usually what I tactfully suggest to parents in my own class whose children have formed similar friendships. You obviously don't want them to fall out with the other child, but you can try to engineer situations where you gently push your child towards other children instead. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Good luck!