ds tells me that a boy called him 'gay' today at school...

[MaryAnnSingleton]

he is 11 ...what would be a good response ? this is from a tiresome boy who has called him names before...of course I told ds that being gay isn't a bad thing etc which he knows anyway..

I can't think of anything that doesn't end up sounding homophobic or that wouldn't just encourage more name-calling. Just tell him to ignore it. Any witty comeback would be lost on the other boy anyway.

I imagine that he means homosexual and yes, I advised ignoring the boy..did try to think of a witty come back but I suppose it would be lost on the other boy

i always found ignore a crap policy ( sorry)

any equally facile name will do.

I thought that maybe saying 'bothered ?' in a Catherine Tate manner might do

I like - "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE FACE OF CONCERN?"

You could always advise him to respond with a cheerily

• oh yes, I think you are soooo cute!

I think, for most kids, 'Gay' simply means not so cool.

my 13YO DSD started to call everything 'Gay' and when I pointed out what that would actual mean (she called her dad gay and I pointed out that would mean her dad turning up to school with a boyfriend not a wife!) she blushed... She just hadn't made the connection.

Not saying that makes it any better - it's certainly not a compliment. My elder DSD cals her younger sister gay almost constantly... DSD2 just tells her she's ugly...

or he could say "WHAT A COINCIDENCE - THAT'S WHAT HALF OF SCHOOL THINKS ABOUT YOU!

I overheard a boy in DD1's class tell a friend of DD's that he looked really gay in what he was wearing.
DD's friend just laughed and said: 'Yes, I do, don't I?'
First boy was nonplussed and had no comeback.

ds was not unduly bothered in fact by this - the boy is always calling 2 other children the same thing ,one of whom would definitely get angry in response-ds is very easy going and would probably not respond

Good responses are usually:

Takes one to know one

Well, you should know...

No, hun, that was last years fashion

God, you are SOO last year

LAME (said Jack Black style with a big 'L')

You can take this to extremes and go for

Whatever McDonalds Worker ('W' 'M' 'W')

Can you tell I spend a lot of time with teenagers?

I hadn't really considered it meaning uncool actually - funny because ds is cool in my eyes but maybe not to this child ( oddly he is picked on by the speccy weedy boys)

Speccy weedy boys...

Sounds like the perfect retort!!

saw the boy in question this morning and glared at him

A school I know a yr 1 child asked a teacher if he was GAY?
I said to my cousin who's 7 hold my son's hand he looked at me and said NO I aint gay!
so it is just a word kids seem to use a lot.
(7 is young tho')

I might sound a bit po faced about this, but really really don't like them using gay as an uncomplimentary word of any sort, and I always pull them up on it. I think it's easy to say "Oh it just means uncool" but it also still means homosexual and it's offensive to use it as an insult. I don't like my ds saying that someone's being "girly" when he means weak and silly either.

yes, agree with you there seeker

say he looks like a balloon knot.

well, no 'gay' today..maybe he got bored !