Do state schools gently stretch bright kids? Need advice!

[dadmumplus10]

We moved from a pushy private school to Home Ed to now a village state school.. The private school was causing anxiety, very pushy and no wellbeing or support, lost confidence.. Home ed was OK but he needed more socially, now in state school and socially doing a bit better but he isn't being gently stretched. He is very bright and we don't wish to push him ever. He is but is becoming bored. He has reading and maths age of 9 years old, he is 7.. I never want him to feel pressure but also feel he is happy when learning and being gently stretched, he has a thirst and natural curiosity for learning / knowledge.. The question is, do we keep him in state or try a new school? He has always had good ability for learning, we noticed age 2/3.. We can't afford private school currently.. Any ideas? He is being left out a bit we feel socially in his class, as he is different, questions, level of interaction etc., he doesn't seem too happy, but we risk moving him again and it could be a case of the grass is greener? I find choosing the right school tricky!

A seven year old doesn’t need to be ‘stretched’ by teachers - they really don’t. You just need to give them lots of opportunities to explore things that interest them (whatever that is — dinosaurs, music, plants, sports...) I assume you have books in your house and your kid is allowed some screen time? There are almost literally infinite ways your kid can encounter new information (eg new concepts in maths or more challenging reading material) if you have those resources.

At that age my older kid (very mathsy) was learning how to do a Rubiks Cube - which introduced him to algorithms. But that was all on him; he saw someone with a Rubik’s cube, was instantly fascinated, asked for one (cheap as chips), and from then on used YouTube to find out about the maths principles behind solving it. I had nothing to do with it, and nor did his teachers.

Kindly - you sound a bit anxious about this, and maybe you should think about whether this focus on his attainment is more about your wants/needs than it is about what he wants or needs. I’ve been there, and it’s a fairly normal thing for parents to do! But unless a school is genuinely dreadful or a child is really unhappy, kids of this age will find their level. They are perfectly engineered learning machines, and they don’t actually require much parental maintenance. Just let ‘em run. Honestly, he will be fine and if he’s motivated to learn, he will learn. They almost can’t help themselves.

The range of abilities in seven year olds is not so narrow that he will be the only child in the school reading age nine books. He shouldn't be super isolated based on being in the top 25% of readers.

If you want to stretch him yourself just do the ordinary thing of tagging on one more thing at the end of an inquiry, to find the zone of proximal development, the edge of independent learning. He will get the habit of it and do it himself in class. It's much better to develop his own learning strategies than to disruptively move him from place to place in the hope someone else will do it for him. He is probably left out a bit now because he is new, and if you keep yanking him around he will always be new.

Not at this age generally no.

advice at this age if you have a bright kid is generally to stretch sideways - learn an instrument, play chess, do a sport, go to cubs/brownies etc

at this age the kids are just transitioning from learning to read to reading to learn. So focus on experiences and on knowing and understanding the world outside school - visiting museums, other parts of the country, cities, etc.

Personally I would have picked a bigger school so that he can meet kids who were more like him. Age 9 ability at age 7 is great but I don’t think it’s so far ahead that it couldn’t be dealt with at school.

State schools have to follow the national curriculum so not really about “thirst for knowledge” That kind of education would be home ed imo because your son could choose the topics rather than politicians who designed the curriculum. School could give him harder work but realistically their focus at all ages is about raising the borderline students to the next attainment brackets as politicians like quantifying education.

My bright children have always been stretched at their state comp secondary. Probably less so at primary but there was always more work available if they wanted it, speak to the teacher if he is genuinely bored.

That's a lot of different educational experiences in the very early days of formal schooling. Are you sure that the constant looking for something new hasn't contributed towards him being unsettled? Do you live in locally and are you able to encourage friendships and out of school activities? It's bound to be harder for him breaking into established friendship groups.

It's your job to develop his love for learning alongside the school, as I'm sure you were doing in the home ed phase.

I think at primary level, not really, but I don’t think it’s in his best interests either. You can support deeper learning at home.I’d use school to focus on social and self care aspects. You can read in depth about topics of interest and do further maths outside of school if he asks. At secondary, yes, there is more scope for supporting those who can work at a different level. Plus you can sign up for additional tuition as necessary.

I definitely wouldn’t move him again unless absolutely necessary, if he’s already been to prep, then home ed, then his current state school. I suspect a further change will impact him more than any perceived lack of stretch at school! Your best bet is to probably continue to support and encourage at home or quietly speak to the teacher if you’re concerned.

Definitely this.

Just expand his world - musical instrument, choir, Beavers/Cubs (great for structured working towards interest badges and doing mini projects), sport/team sport, days out, museums, exhibitions and theatre trips. Take him to the library and let him choose and read anything that takes his fancy. Do some hands on science and baking at home, a diy project, help him master physical skills like bike riding, climbing, skipping. How's his swimming? Do arts and crafts and colouring, make mandalas, enroll him in forest school or beach school....

Don't keep moving schools and monitoring his academics against others.

When DS was at primary, he got a bit of extra help at English and was taken out of class with three others for more advanced maths. Stretch definitely happens, and two years ahead is not that unusual.
If you have a child who wants to learn, it's a golden opportunity to stretch at home, especially stretching sideways as PP suggested.

Have you asked at school what they can do for him?

Small village primary. In my experience it depends on the teacher.
I wouldn't say reading age 9 books at age 7 is particularly advanced. Probably top 40%. So yeah, I think they would probably be fine.
Do I think a small village primary has the resource to stretch the top 1%. No, not in my experience.

He’s probably not top 1 % though. I don’t get this obsession with trading ages either. I never knew or cared. @dadmumplus10 You say you don’t want pushy but you do really. You think DS is better than other dc. If the teacher is any good, of course they will get him to do work commensurate with his ability and they should have extension work if he’s grasped the curriculum basics.

Sadly you keep changing your mind about his education. I’d try and enrich what the school offers, but I’d also ask the teacher for their assessment. Is he exceeding on absolutely everything? What could he do for extension work? School isn't just about reading age, it’s also learning how to learn and getting on with others.

Do you invite other dc to play? Does your DS talk about other dc? Have you made any attempt to make friends at the school with other parents? Got involved with pta? What’s the word on the street about the quality of teaching? Instead of making assumptions I’d be happy you have achieved non pushy and make an effort to support the school.

He’s in yr 2 or 3, and is in his third education type/setting? No, I wouldn’t be moving him again unless I really had to.

I also agree with PPs that while his reading age is great, I don’t think it’s so far advanced that a school will have difficulty knowing what to do with him.

Why don’t you two do the amount of stretching that you think is appropriate? At home. That’s generally how it goes in state school. Unless very very noticeably ahead

I would gently suggest that worrying about social skills and friendships when a seven year old is on his third tranche of learning is something you need to think about, since it is likely that his confidence has been knocked a bit by so many changes. Forget about the school pushing him academically atm, focus on developing social skills and friendships, what clubs and activities are available locally via sports or cubs? What local social activities do you take part in as a family? Church for example, park run, local pub for Sunday lunch?Are you liaising with other mums at the school gate, the weather is going to get better soon, suggest after school meet ups in a park of garden perhaps with picnic teas.

At seven academic progress is often best served by encouraging wide interests, you never know what it is that will take root. Often a child will develop curiosity about a particular subject or area and you can then foster this by providing resources and sharing the interest, thereby developing reading for information skills, research skills, vocabulary, knowledge and understanding.