Splitting twins: reception or junior?

[ByGoldHare]

Hi, for those of you who have twins and have split yours, did you do it during reception or in junior school?

For those who are a twin yourself, have you got any lived experience to share re: being split? And the timing of it?

My identical twin girls will have the opportunity to split when they attend reception or in junior school (when they shuffle the classes) if we want to. I’ve heard people say that it’s easier for the kids to split early on, but also some said it was better to split in junior school as it’s better to have each other during the early years.

Any insight would be appreciated!

Ours were split in year 3 so as they went to KS2. B/G and not really alike either. Most people in their clubs and then secondary school didn’t realise they were siblings let alone twins.

Totally depends on the children. Some do better together, some do better apart.
We kept ours together but they were always individuals and have their own personalities, identities and separate friends.

You say one has a more dominant personality so I wonder if it’s best they aren’t together from the start to allow the other not to be dominated by her sister?

I don’t have twins but my “follower” daughter was deliberately split from some close friends after year 1 for this reason (classes were mixed going into year 2) and it was the best thing for her socially. I hadn’t noticed this but the teacher had.

Reception classes are often free flow with a shared space so they will hopefully see each other often anyway? And in the playground no doubt. If it causes too much upset can the school make an exception and have 31 in one class? I think infant class sizes can be stretched in such circumstances.

When they went into separate classes in p4 they were both ready for it and settled in with no issues. I did discuss it with them and they both thought it was a good idea. People without twins get very worried about them developing as separate people but they do this quite naturally whether they are together all the time or not simply because they will have different personalities anyway and different likes and dislikes.
usually through school there is some mixing of classes from year to year and that is a good opportunity to ask everyone concerned (children and teachers and parents) whether they would like to separate so I wouldn’t rush it. Mine are now at two separate universities doing polar opposite courses and both very happy!

We were split in reception.
Obviously I can't remember it but I know we spent every break and lunch together.

In high school we were together for French and she was a nightmare. Whereas I was quite studious, she was into boys. God knows why we sat next to each other but we would end up having a full on fight in the classroom. She once upended the table she was that mad.
The poor teacher was very frustrated by us because we didn't want to sit apart 😂

If I had twins, I would have split them from day 1 at school.

Trouble is in high school you can have them in different form classes but they often end up in the same subject classes especially if they are setted and good at the same things. There is no way round this!

Different perspective but I wonder if you ask the girls what they want to do given some posters have had lived experience of being together or split (I’m not a twin) but also I think it would be good to discuss with the school and emphasise the importance of them being treated as individuals if this is a worry? It is really important that they understand the impact of not doing this in terms of their confidence as they grow up

I’m a Reception teacher. At my school our policy is to split unless the parents are absolutely against it. In my experience the children have been fine. They have made their own and joint friends. They can, if they want, be together at lunchtime. Also, in Reception the two classes are likely to share areas so they will be able to be with their twin at some points in the day.

I’ve seen lots of identical twins who don’t seem to have developed as individuals. DC who are just one year apart in age would not continually want to be with their sibling and I don’t see why really see why twins should. It seems parents force it in some cases. Twins come as a package. Parents are surely not seeing dc twins as full time playmates and support for each other with no room for individual friends? I find it odd that 4 year olds are involved in making the decision. Some twins don’t ever separate from their twin and it feels restrictive to me.

I am disappointed to hear that any schools still have a policy to separate. All the research says don’t separate at reception unless there is a good reason. It is likely young twins will have spent their whole lives together up until this point because it is almost unavoidable. This is much more extreme in twins than other siblings. Everyone recognises that a child starting school faces challenges being away from their family why would you want to make that so much harder for twins? Separation happens naturally and should happen gently and gradually so that it does not cause stress.

That's naive and highlights you obviously aren't a twin. Twins have different experiences to siblings. Their default from before birth is being together. It isn't necessarily that you're closer to a twin than a sibling, but the nature of being together a lot is different.

I doubt the twins you apparently have seen a lot of lack individuality - more so they're genetically similar with similar life experiences hence develop similarly. That doesnt have to be a negative. Twins being completely different is fine if it happens organically, just like it is fine if they grow to be similar. There is no better or worse.

Now as a twin I think this depends on them. My twin and I was split the last year of juniors as we asked to be. But a friend of mine has kept theirs together until they went to secondary. They are very reliant on each other.

@SoOtterlyLovely My point was that some parents force it. Siblings are not expected to go to parties together, wear the same clothes and have the same haircuts. I fail to see why twins are. Yet it’s obviously quite normal for some parents to want this. No, I’m not a twin, but I am observant. I’m glad I’m not a twin to be honest if you are always attached to someone else.