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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

am newly pg and now have a which school for 4yo dd dilemma

17 replies

newkid · 17/06/2008 17:13

My dd starts school in Sep. For years we've been planning on sending her to the school in the town where we used to live (about 3 miles away) and she got a place at that (very good) school. However, I have recently found out that I am pg and I am now very tempted to send her to our (also good but maybe not very good) local school, which we can walk to.

There are several stumbling blocks to the local school choice: a)it's C of E and my dh is a committed atheist. While I also would prefer a non-denominational school, I'm less committed to the idea.
b) there is only one other girl (who dd knows and likes) in the reception class (a class of about 13).

However, the fact that it is our village school and the fact that we can walk there really overrule those drawbacks (in my mind). Also other school has three receptions with 28 kids in each class - will dd get a better education in smaller, more family-like school, esp as it is 'only' primary?

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ChippyMinton · 17/06/2008 17:50

Before you get any further:
Has the local school got a place for your DD?
Have you visited it?

Turniphead1 · 17/06/2008 18:52

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

MamaG · 17/06/2008 18:53

I fully agree with turnip

nappyelite · 17/06/2008 19:22

definitely agree re friends being local. WHen our DDs were at school it was in a village 3-4 miles away and although it was lovely, the other kiddies who were all local tended to be friends with those in the same street/ village.

nappyelite · 17/06/2008 19:22

meant to add though for you to do what you think is best.

Original poster

newkid · 18/06/2008 11:42

Thanks for the responses. It's definitely what I wanted to hear! I know the local school quite well but am meeting with them tomorrow. That's another reason I like it - dd knows school and they already know her really well. Can't say the bigger school will have the same 'family' feel.

The main drawback now is the one other girl one (in class of 13). So if dd goes, there will be 12 boys and 2 girls. The boys are generally lovely but not such obvious playmates. It will be really really hard to convince dh that this will not be an issue.

Being a mum, you're on the 'frontline' of kiddiedom and I think dh doesn't really appreciate that (esp with new baby - due in Jan) schlepping into the other town to drop off/pick up dd and arrange playdates will be really really hard work, esp as the other kids in her class (quite a few of whom live in the same street) will probably form closer friendships based on their geographic closeness.

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Turniphead1 · 18/06/2008 11:54

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

whatdayisit · 18/06/2008 12:00

Local wins hands down for me. The local school would have to be very very bad before I would contemplate a 6 mile round trip twice a day. Baby or not. Besides which, I still belive what goes on at home is way more important than the school in any case and the local school means she spends more time at home.

Also, as she gets older, she'll want to go to school friends' houses and to the activites they do and you could find yourself doing the trip more than twice a day ...and then the baby will start school.

aintnomountainhighenough · 18/06/2008 12:40

Personally I would not put my DD in a class that only had 1 other girl. Currently my DDs class only has 2 boys and I know it has been a cause of concern for one of the parents. I would think also about the 13 pupils, this is a very low number and I would be surprised if the school allowed this to remain a single year group. In larger schools they tend to keep year groups together which is better (imo) and they tend to have more facilities and clubs etc. As regards the 3 miles, it really isn't very far. She will still have play dates etc, I wouldn't see that as a big deal. All that said you need to go and look at both schools and meet the head as this will almost certainly make your mind up for you.

aintnomountainhighenough · 18/06/2008 12:40

sunnydelight · 19/06/2008 04:37

Normally I would say local every time, but there is no way I would put my daughter in a class with only one girl. What happens when they fall out? (as they will). My two boys spent time in a school with 55 children in total. It was a nightmare socially and children often left because of the friendship/lack of potential friends issue (especially girls). It was one of the main reasons why I took my youngest out in the end (by then his brother had gone on to secondary). He had the choice of a single entry or double entry school and I was surprised when he went for the biggest school in town. He LOVED all the children, all the potential new friends, the lovely big playground. I totally see why you would want to talk yourself into sending her to the school you can walk to, and it IS nice to have friends around the corner, but it's not everything.

Original poster

newkid · 19/06/2008 08:58

OK, I have been to talk to local school and there are some new developments as it were.

There will be two girls. I discovered yesterday when talking to the mum of the 'only other girl' that actually there would be two girls (so dd would make it 3). Also there will only be about 9 kids in the class (6 boys, 3 girls) so actually the ratio is looking better. As they will do a lot with next year's Y1 (which currently has 1 boy and 3 girls), there will be 7 boys and 6 girls in reception/y1.

It is a worry that they will fall out but they'll also get back together surely?! It's a very family-like school so I'm sure they are good at mediating.

It is an 'infant school' so only does reception/y1/y2.

The teacher was telling me about making mud pies with the kids and then coming in to write up the 'recipe' for the mud pies as part of their literacy work - it just sounded so lovely and natural. My mind is made up - now how to convince dh? Any suggestions?

OP posts:

LyraSilvertongue · 19/06/2008 09:03

I think you've made the right decision.

missblythe · 19/06/2008 09:08

Well, he might go for:

'In big towns and cities people pay a fortune in school fees just to get class sizes as small as this-and we can have it for free. At the end of the road'

That's exactly why we're about to go private-a class of 30 4 year olds in madness IMO

PortAndLemon · 19/06/2008 09:11

If you want to convince your DH I think you need more information on what being a CofE school actually entails in this case. Is it any more than she'd be getting in the other school anyway? Does your DH know that all schools, whether CofE or not, are legally supposed to have a daily act of collective worship of a "broadly Christian character"? Is he imagining that the other school will be completely religion-free just because it isn't officially CofE?

Romy7 · 19/06/2008 10:11

DS1 only plays with the girls anyway.

Original poster

newkid · 19/06/2008 11:56

PortandLemon, I think that will be my tack. Basically, the school has one assembly a week at which the minister appears (she only lives a few doors down) and they use the church for nativity. That's about as religious as it gets.

The teacher I spoke to basically said that this school was 'less' religious than some non-denom schools he had taught at. They also celebrate Diwali, Chinese new year and something else.

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