Is it normal for reception children to still struggle going to school?

[Fashionista22]

I was wondering if this it’s ‘normal’ to still find reception hard at this stage in the year?

Every morning she says she doesn’t want to go and has a tummy ache. I’ve been into the school several times and she looks quite vacant and never says a word, I’m wondering if she’s suppressing/in flight or flight mode?

I’ve had a few meetings with the teacher but he says she’s fine etc…

Yes, it can be normal way beyond the age of Reception. Separation anxiety is still very 'normal' up until the age of about 7/8. I'm not saying it's not normal after that, but professionals don't seem overly concerned up until that age.

It's never nice for children or parents to experience, but if she genuinely is fine after you've gone I wouldn't be unduly concerned at this stage. A lot of children put on a 'performance' for their parents every morning, to the point where it simply becomes routine. This doesn't sound like the case here, if you are experiencing her appearing to 'shut down', as opposed to crying/screaming/clinging etc. It does sound like there are some genuine anxieties there, even if she's able to overcome them once you are out of sight. Something about going into school is setting off the butterflies in her tummy.

Do the school have anyone in a parent support worker role? It sounds like she needs refering to the pastoral team (it would be unusual for a school not to have one these days). Ask the teacher if there's anyone like this in the school, and if she can work with them (or at least you meet with them, initially). You both need some strategies to help, and this would be the route I would go down if it was a child in my class. She needs some work on protective behaviours, where someone with training in this area can help her unpick why she feels this way and what she can do to help herself feel better when she gets those feelings.

Good luck