Not too sure on DS reception teacher

[Coffeeandcake32]

Hi, was wondering if i could get others perspective on this as not sure im expecting too much!
Ds is in reception and overall seems to be doing well. His first parents evening his teacher was really positive but vague, we put this down to only being in October. Since then, contact has been extremely minimal. His teacher barely posts on the app and seems to almost avoid eye contact at drop off and pick up. If i get a text off the school saying DS has bumped their head or whatever there is never a comment made by his teacher about it. Ive seen the other reception teachers enagage in quick conversations with parents if something minimal has happened in the day.
I gave his teacher a form for occupational health to fill in two weeks ago as DS has suspected dsphraxia and she seemed startled what to do with it and hasnt mentioned it since nor gave it back to me.
The only other dealings ive really had with her was another occasion last week when DS has been experiencing some unkind behaviour from another boy excluding him in his group, putting playdough in his hair and he also deeply scratched his neck and keep saying he hates him. I raised this with the teacher who said she would keep an eye on the situation talk to ds and the other boy but made a boys will be boys comment which didnt sit right with me. DS has since confirmed she hasnt spoken to him ( he wouldnt tell her that the boy is being unkind).
We have the next parents evening next week and was wondering how to handle this and any tips of things i could say to help the communication?

It sounds like you are expecting it to be like nursery. Primary school is more hands off with parents.

It's not nursery. Your expectations are too high.

The only thing that would concern me is your DS being scratched/playdough incident. Otherwise you are expecting too much, it is good that they aren’t posting much on any app, it means they are engaged with teaching. In Y1 you won’t get an app at all. Reception teachers probably witness 10 bumped heads a day, as long as the school has made you aware somehow I wouldn’t expect an additional comment from the teacher. No news is good news, if the teacher isn’t pulling you aside to have a chat every day then that’s a good thing tbh!

Agree with others you’re expecting it to be like nursery. You won’t get an app in year one and they deal with so many first aid forms you can’t expect them to talk you through each one. I think they do avoid eye contact a bit at drop off pick up time but because they can’t stop and chat to 30 odd parents. We get told to email in to arrange a call if we want to chat.

How many unpaid hours do you her to expend on your DS? Talk to them at parents evening but be realistic. If your child is being bullied then that really needs addressing and make sure they know that you think it was a serious event.

I think PP are a bit harsh - yes it's not nursery but I get more communication from DC's Y6 teacher than this reception child is getting! (Admittedly this is for all the wrong reasons because DC is struggling so much, so as @cadburyegg said no news is probably good news.)

The dyspraxia form I would send to the SENCO copying in the teacher and saying DS is being looked at for dyspraxia and the OT would be grateful if you could complete and return the form.

I wouldn't expect much on the app, apps don't seem to do much at primary school

The unkind behaviour one would worry me. I think the way I'd go about it at parents evening would be to say "DS finds it hard to tell an adult when someone is being unkind but he's told me after school that Tommy is being unkind and as you know there was a nasty incident last week with the scratching. How can you support DS to be more assertive in telling an adult when there is something wrong?"

Parents evenings are usually only 10 minutes. The teacher only really has time to tell you that your child is working towards / at / exceeding expected levels in the key subjects so if you have no concerns on those, you can say you're content with the level of work you've seen but want to raise a point about DS's social development and then use that suggestion. The benefit of that is that it should also help your DS to gain skills to help him deal with conflict as he progresses through primary school.

School staff have followed procedure alerting you to a bump on the head. This is likely to have been dealt with by an SMSA or maybe the designated first aider. It’s unlikely to have been dealt with or witnessed by the class teacher.
He is young to be exploring a diagnosis of Dyspraxia ( DCD) so that might explain her reaction.
Reception teachers are so busy and Parents evening will be a general developmental chat.

Is she an ECT?

If you are concerned speak to the head teacher. I appreciate we only have your side here, but I agree something seems off.

Occupational health?
that’s usually for working adults.

agree he is young to be exploring dyspraxia and normally forms etc would go via Senco. Have you spoken to the senco about the process?

My child was 6 when diagnosed with Dyspraxia so I don’t think it’s young if he’s 5 or nearly 5.
have you considered he may be neurodivergent OP? Often linked to Dyspraxia and if he’s struggling to advocate for himself and experiencing unkind behaviour from other children it’s worth considering I think.
I also think PP are being harsh, the teacher should deal with the form with the help of the SENCO. She should’ve done what she said she would in talking to the boys about the unkind behaviour. I’d keep on her case and try to make contact with the SENCO.

Thanks for your replies everyone! @LauraMipsum im going to use your angle of wording at parents evening, thank you.
Regarding the occupational therapy, DS has been under it since he was 3 as nursery flagged that he look flat footed. The consultant told me he is hypermobile but he isnt red flagging in any areas. It is standard practise to be assessed at school age which he did get done at the hospital who said they werent concerned but would be helpful to get a background on him so i could help to support him where he seems to struggle ( riding a bike etc).
Totally appreciate that school isnt nursery re the app, i was just trying to give a bigger picture that the only time ive had communication with his teacher so far has been the first parents evening and the two occassions ive spoken to her re the occupational therapy and unkind behaviour which coincidently happened within a week of eachother.

Most of that is normal-I’d follow up with the scratching though.

Forms like the one for Occupational Therapy would often go through the SENCo-where is the form now? I’d ring the school and ask for a quick chat with the sencos

You’re expecting too much if you think an app will be updated regularly or that she will have time to chat every morning. But - it’s not unreasonable for the form to be looked at and the behaviour from the other child needs tackling. I would write to her and ask if she will give you an update on the OH form and bullying at parents evening or if you should arrange a separate meeting. Time is short at parents evenings so she might need a longer to cover those.

He’s doing well. She’s a good teacher. She may well have spoken to the other child involved.

Well the good thing is you get a new teacher every year! I think we have all had teachers we are not keen on but the good thing is it’s only for the academic year! If your Dc is happy going to school then just suck it up you’ve only got 4/5months left.