How to help shy DS??

[babyproblems]

Ds is just turned four. He is in first year at school (- we live abroad). This morning we had out meeting with the local nurse to monitor all 4yo development; it was ok but DS was so so so shy that he would not complete many of the tasks or interact with the nurse. It was awful! I know he can do all
of the things on her list; and of course he is not shy for me, dad, family etc. He is intelligent, speaks well, can read a bit, can write his own name just about, knows his colours, letters, numbers etc. I know for sure he is right handed and he writes quite well for his age at home with me and has done in class too. However in his medical book it now says he cannot do these things, uncertain left or right handed, cannot speak in phrases (in second language), cannot recognise numbers! He also told her that we do not read any stories and he eats no vegetables! Oh and that he cannot draw a complete person, and that he only brushes his teeth at night. Now obviously this is all lies. He was so shy that he wouldn’t respond so she ticked the relevant boxes.. I get that - she didn’t see him do xyz so she’s said so. Fair enough. I hate that he is this shy and feel if this is how he behaves - granted she is a stranger - that it’s a problem. How can I help him to be more confident??? I know he’s capable of interacting very well and positively at times with certain people. I regret going to the meeting now! Before the ‘test’ questions the nurse told him he shouldn’t be having milk before bed anymore- I don’t know who cares that much about milk before bed; in the UK we have a lot more dairy in our diet than where we are living so they’re a bit funny about that. DS loves his milk and it was after that he decided he wouldn’t really bother with her much for the rest of the meeting. I told his teacher after what the outcomes had been and she thought it was quite funny.. she knows what he can do so saw the lighter side. I’m mortified and now think what should we be doing to help him be less shy. Wondered if anyone had any thoughts or similar to share! X

lol it’s very annoying! My mum says I was stubborn and shy as a toddler and I refused to cooperate with the tests. I pretended I couldn’t hear and sat staring in stony silence. My mum kept saying”oh normally she’s fine.” But they wrote down lots of negative comments about my development delays. Then as I left, I saw another child I knew so I went over to chat and play and was completely fine - so the lady running the tests said “I’m going to redo the whole form - tell me what she can and can’t do and I’ll write that down.”

I wouldn’t worry. It won’t lead to anything adverse!

It doesn’t sound like your child is shy but decided how he wanted to behave with that lady, which is giving her false information.

if he was shy with strangers, more than this instance, I’d probably look at his normal social interactions. My son was outgoing then was scared of crowds and people just saying hi to him for a while due to Covid rules/isolation. Then we slowly introduced interactions with people again, especially with people
who aren’t normally speak with or meet up with often, over time he was fine. It’s all
about exposure in a safe environment if he was really shy.