Reports of poor behaviour from reception aged dc; concerned

[bitsofpetals]

Ds started in reception this September. Initially, he settled well. Made friends, progressing well. Now he’s a bit more settled some poor behaviour has started to emerge and he was very cheeky to the lunchtime supervisors the other day. I told him it wasn’t acceptable and that he’d lose his TV time at home if it happened again. Unfortunately, it has and he also had to move to a different table because of silly behaviour with another child.

I am concerned - is it too much to ask to meet with his teacher? I don’t want to add to her workload as I’m sure she’s got enough to do.

Hopeful bump before I have to go and collect him!

I would ask, yes. You are right she'll be busy, but she will want to help.

Hi OP
I’m a lunchtime supervisor at a school and reception is one of the groups I cover.
Being frank about it reception children very much start off quiet and get more confident which sometimes comes out in being cheeky or disruptive and this time of year is when they all suddenly go in leaps and bounds! And.. they also copy each other so it’s probably a few or more doing similar.

It is surprisingly difficult to manage a group of 4-5 years olds (being so young it’s difficult to “tell them off”/not appropriate) and lunch can be very noisy so harder to reinforce behaviours, but I’m sure school will be trying to.

Where I work we often talk to a child acting out/disruptive sometimes after the event because service is tricky enough and work to reinforce behaviour rules (e.g. say please and thank you, doing throw/ play with food, keep hands to ourselves, kind hands/words, not being unkind, and so on).
There’s no harm in speaking to the teacher but it’s often a little stage they go through..and come out the other side (reward often works better than trying to reason them out of ill considered actions).
I don’t know if that helps at all.

oh and it’s refreshing to hear a parent wanting to discipline! Usually it’s a barrage of why don’t you do enough for my DC (answer because there’s a whole class and I’m trying!)

It does help - thanks! I know he wasn’t acting in isolation but I didn’t want it to sound as if I was ‘blaming’ the other child / children (I’m not! But they do egg one another on.)

I’ll try a bit of bribery - maybe if I have a week of good reports at lunch choosing a special toy? Do you think that would be effective?

i was just fretting he was turning into a bit of a menace which obviously isn’t what I want and I don’t want the teachers thinking I haven’t brought him up well, I guess!

Put it this way; if I had a windfall from the lottery (unlikely as I don’t do it but you know …) all the staff at DS’s school would be on there!

If he is a menace, you'd likely have been called in already. Though some schools do try to "manage" in-house with most behaviour and would not call a meeting.

As a teacher, I'd suggest saying something like "I'm being told about his behaviour a lot; do you think we need to have a meeting to talk about it, or is it fairly typical? I want to work together to make sure he learns right from wrong"

This kind of approach will give them an out if they feel he's ok really, but make it clear that you are keen to follow up on consequences at home. I love parents who are proactive about behaviour support!

Do ask for a meeting, I really like when parents request to meet with me. Yes we're busy but I feel it can be much more productive to sit face to face and work together on an issue. You start to build up a good relationship so that you can easily just pick up the phone later on, when necessary, to check in.

I’d ask for a meeting if it concerns but obviously don’t blame other children, just stay on the line of you noticed the behaviour and what the teacher think and what they observed. And whether they have any advice that you as a parent could do to improve the behaviour.

I find behaviour is always related to who they hang out with but as a parent I have no control over. The only small thing you can do is to be up to speed what’s going on and plan accordingly.