Girl in DD class being overpowering.......

[strawberriesandcream01]

Hi. I have always had an issue with this girl, who I will call May. She has latched onto DD and wont let her play with anyone else and wont take no for an answer. She is constantly in DD personal space, cuddling or kissing her.

Tonight we went to a party for the class and I was quite shocked by their behaviour together. It was a country dancing party so had to partner up and of course May grabbed DD, then caused her to trip over so she came over to me and may found a new partner. As soon as DD was ok May ditched the partner and got back with DD. They sat together at tea timme and now DD copies May all the time. I have really been struggling with DD behaviour recently, she is rude and argues with me and I just wondered today if May is the cause of this.

I have spoken to the teacher about this several times, class time is ok now but it's break times where the teacher is not there that DD isn't allowed to play with anyone else and I want her to mix more. I really think I need to go in tomorrow and talk to the teacher. What do you think? .

How old is your dd?

5 years old. I posted about this months ago and some people said just to leave her to it but she is an easily lead little girl and the situation is getting worse.

Hmm, my little girl has had similar problems and is the same age. There are often over powering girls at this stage, classroom politics are a nightmare, they're always falling out and changing sides etc.

However, i think rather than leaving her to it, you need to build up her confidence and try to get HER to do something - ask her what she really wants, and what she could do to get there, support her, encourage her. It's hard not to leap in there, but really, it's impossible to do it on her behalf I think.

When I was 5 I remember an older girl always wanting me to be her pretend pony, tying a skipping rope around my waist and making me gallop all breaktime. I hated it and wanted to go and play with my friend. i talked to my parents about it and it was my dad in the end who got me to practice saying that I didn't want to play this game. I did it, she was disappointed but actually alright, and it gave me a confidence boost to have stood up for myself.

Mention it to the teachers so they are aware. They can try to split them up a little, put them in different groups etc. Not much else you can do. Hopefully will resolve itself.

Can you get your dd to experiment with saying "no" to May? OR more tactfully "actually May I am playing with June, do you want to play too?"

I have a sort of similar situation with DS3 and his "best mate", who I really don't like, for many reasons - and do I know that's an awful thing to say about a 6 year old.

My approach has been to invite as many other kids back after school as I have time for. And it's not up for debate - I just sort it out with the mother and then tell DS3 that X is coming home with us. It's sort of working in that other children are now being mentioned as people DS3's played with at break.

Can you invite other children round to play, but never May?

I find that my daughter can almost still be told who her friends are.

She was playing with one girl several months ago who I couldn't bear. She came to my house and told me my house was too small for five people, the garden was boring, my daughter had no toys and .... my pasta was 'the wrong kind of pasta' ! She also said crap and damn and minor swear words, but still, could do without another battle trying to get my dd not to pick up that.

I wonder should I name change, because it is shameful to admit this, but I looked at this little girl and thought "you are awful, I can't bear you!".

I have steered my DD away from this girl. I literally told her, you love Holly and Beatrice and Emily don't you?!!?!?!!?!?!?!!? I didn't mention the other girl, didn't invite her 'round..

ps the point of all that was, it has worked.