New one on me

[NotABanana]

We have declined a birthday party and the birthday girl told my DD she was mean not to go.

Charming.

There are some real little brats around. She was probably more worried about one less present than anything else. How old is the little darling?

if that is how the birthday day behaves you are doing the right thing by not going!

DS1 was the only one is his class not to go to a party last week (I was really stressed and struggling and had to work and despite offers of help I couldnt mentally cope with all the arrnagments etc) BUT the lovely boy brought a party bag in for my DS on Monday. Now that is nice, isnt it

ummmmm
maybe she really likes your dd and was sad she wasn't going

maybe 2shoes, but mean and sad are two very different things

at least you had the courtesy to respond to the invite- i was at how many just couldn't be bothered to respond to ds invitations,

and out of the mouths of babes....often spills forth something repeated from their parents!

I find between the ages of 4 and 6, every other word is mean, often they don't really get its meaning.

oh that is a new one to me tho cameroon - I have a 4 and 6 yo and neither uses the word (yet...)

I have had a chat and the child asked mine if she was going, and when she said no, she said it was mean and she wouldn't get any yummy cake. I reminded DD how much I make yummy cake and she was fine. DD didn't want to go and I will not make her.

they must lead a sheltered life nas At the moment ds, 4 uses it more often than his big sister who now understands what it means...

good on you NAB - sounds like a bit of a brat to me. Make sure you and DD have some of your nice yummy cake. (CAn I have a bit too??)

I don't think she sounds like a brat, you are being quite harsh nas, she obviously doesn't know what it means and the right context to use it and is disappointed that your dd isn't coming. I take she is quite little still?

Sure don't make dd go if she doesn't want to but next week you may find that it all changes and that they are best mates

lol at sheltered lifes maybe they do, never thought about it actually

Maybe I am being harsh on the child - but mean seems such a nasty word to me, that's all

I agree its a horrid word and I try to get ds to qualify in what way someone is being mean and then make him realise that for the most part they aren't at all.

If your dc can bypass the mean stage that's brilliant, I am dreading the day dd comes home from school saying 'X says I'm a bitch for not going to her party'

Just thought of the Mr Men books - Mr Mean, might have to get it out and see if my boys know what it really means!

Now, they are wrinking in the bath so I ought to get them out........

Good grief, you are a bit harsh, that is totally normal for a small child, precise vocabulary is not their forte. You just say, "Well, we know you're not mean, she was sad that you are going to miss her party, that's all." End of.

They are currently 4.

DD doesn't want to go as what is planned is not her thing.

Mean is a very normal word for yound school age children IME. Doesn't mean the children are unpleasant or being nasty. It is just anoher wrd they use and to them it just means that the other child isn't doing something they want them too.

I do correct DD if she says it and say to say that the action is mean, not a person (for example if a friend has ushed her, etc.)

As the little girl in question said your DD was mean and wouldn't get any cake as a result if not coming - to me that doesn't sound like she was being nasty to your DD. More than she was saying that your DD would miss out on some yummy cake and the little girl didn't think that was fair on your DD. But I guess it depends which way uit was siad - without being there impossible to know. The little girl didn't say your DD was mean and now she'd me minus a present - so does't sound as it that was her concern, despite what others have suggested.

I suspect the little girl used the word mean, not meaning your DD was being unpleasant. More that she wasn't doing something the little girl wold have liked her to do.

4y is very very young still, esp when it comes to using diferent words ad knowing full meanings of them.

Very gracefully done nas

4 year old ds uses all sorts of words not really understanding their meaning, his current favourite is 'foolish'. They are really just experimenting at this age.

I wasn't too concerned as it was DD's choice not to go and she knows no one can beat me for yummy cake. It is more I don't want my chidren to be upset at school and as I am not friends with any of the mum's I don't want that to have an effect on the ay the kids are with mine.