4yo sent out of class

[Slk91]

Found out my 4yo has been sent out of class a few times (which I had been told) but apparently when he is sent out he is completely alone.

A friends 10yo told me they had seen him stood in the corridor alone sobbing, and its not the first time, spoke to another parent who said shes been told the same from her child

He only turned 4 month before starting school in September so is the youngest in class, he has struggled to adapt and to begin with couldn't get him in class without teacher peeling him off me crying, if I put him down he ran out of the school.
Feels like a safeguarding concern and also not a very effective way to manage behaviour so young?

Ill be the first to admit hes no angel, he is stubborn and defiant, its mainly 'low levels behaviour like not focusing and distracted - he isn't a keen learner and is struggling to adapt to school environment from private nursery - his behaviour is not violent or dangerous (if it was i would agree with being sent out although would still feel like adult supervision would be needed)

So sending a 4yo who is a known runner out of class alone? Thoughts? Am I over reacting?

I wouldn’t be happy if my 4yo was crying alone in a corridor!

I would want to know more - length of time and circumstances. In my dd's school, the area outside of the classrooms is secure so a child wouldn't be able to get anywhere apart from the y1/2 toilets.

I think if a child is being really disruptive then sending them out does allow the learning of the other children to go on, but obviously isn't working as a deterrent so needs to be followed up with him and you with something more effective too.

No I don't think a 4 year old should be sent out of class. Is there a TA?

Oh poor little chap.
That's awful.

No way is that acceptable. Not overreacting at all.

Our school wouldn't do that. I would talk to the school and find out their side, and see whether it matches what you have been told. Stay factual, e.g. my child has said that this happens, it makes him incredibly upset - can you please clarify what happened? What safeguards were put in place (if any - this may be an issue for the DSL to look into)? Entering into a clear discussion rather than full on emotion will get you much further in the discussion.

At DD's school, we had a child who had (previously undiagnosed) behaviour issues in reception, and the TAs took them to the sensory room (funded by the PTFA - I realise not all schools are this lucky!) to reset in a calm way, and have some space. She has since been diagnosed thanks to the fantastic reception teacher.

For low level disruption, there are clear boundaries, strategies and techniques in place to help, and an acknowledgement that the youngest in the class (there were 5/30 in DD's class who were August born!) may need some more support (though any child can struggle). The oldest child in the year also struggled to settle and was dealt with kindness and compassion.

They certainly wouldn't have put them alone in the corridor (even though the layout of the school means that R are seperated from 1-6) especially not in the first term.

If it’s only a couple of minutes and your son has been given fair warning that going out of the class is the consequence if he continues doing whatever he’s doing, then it’s fine. What do you think teachers should do when
a child is continually choosing to disrupt others learning? There aren’t that many options open to them, and asking a child to stand outside for a couple of minutes often works.

I wouldn’t worry about him
being a runner once he’s safely in the school because it should be secure enough that children can’t leave the premises.

Was the teacher able to see him eg little windows in the door? Are you sure about the length of time because 1-2 mins to show behaviour unacceptable and means you miss out is different to eg 10 mins?
Do they tell you so you can reenforce behaviour at home?

You need to speak to the school first to find out their explanation and then discuss it.

I would assume he was crying inside the classroom first, and they maybe tried to separate him to help him calm down.

id just go and speak to the teacher to find out

My DDs school has done this with children in reception for years, although they are usually sent to sit outside the HTs office where they can be watched from the HT office, office and staff room as doors are kept open. There is also a separate table that they might be expected to sit at.

One boy in DDs reception class really struggled and was being sent out daily, lots of meltdowns initially but they subsided and he just got “naughtier” turned out he liked being sent out of the class as he’s get to play with Lego while having a one on one with his favourite teacher.

Im a great believer that the older kids are a great source of information, I’d ask them dose this normally happen and do the children who get sent out have to stay there long and exactly where in the corridor your DS is, as it may be like my DDs school there is a spot that can be watched and monitored from various sources.

it may well be the teachers are letting him cry it out before talking to him.

My first port of call would always be an email stating several people are telling you the same thing, can the school please give you detail of what happens when a child is sent out of class, are they monitored, spoken to etc.. I’d also follow up with how your DS feels when this happens. You understand that if hes misbehaving there is a process but leaving him crying on his own is concerning you. Always put everything is writing in these situations.

Read the school’s behaviour policy on the school website. What does it say about their policy on dealing with behaviour? Is this being followed?

Has your DS an individual plan to support his behaviour? What does this say - is the plan being followed?

Use these as the starting point to talk to the school.

You need to communicate with the school not canvas opinions on here. You also shouldnt believe everything other children are telling you.

Be very careful to make sure that your son knows he is not bad, stupid or worthless because of this. It has taken a very long time for my son to get over being sent out of the classroom, again not intentionally naughty or deliberately disruptive, but ASD and ADHD meant he struggled, also youngest in year. We did not understand how badly being sent out affected him, we were a few years into therapy before it became clear that it had really had an impact on him, it fucked him up for years, he only regained a sense of self worth as he hit his teens and it still haunts us now.