No suitable friends

ByZippyBlueCrow · 2025-10-30T16:38:11+00:00

My twins boy/ girl have started primary school. It’s a one form entry school very close to our house. I am really worried to the point I’m not sleeping. There are lots of lovely boys in the class and my son has already made lots of friends however there aren’t many girls and I can’t see any that my girl would gel with. I don’t know what to do. I’m wondering if I should move them but then I feel bad for my son. But I don’t know many friends with girls so so I was really hoping to find some people at school. So sad,

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Iguessicoulddothat · 30/10/2025 16:42

How many in the class? I've definitely not met every child in my reception age childs class yet.
Have you had a parents evening, how is your DD settling in general? Is she finding people to play with? Or is she unhappy?

verycloakanddaggers · 30/10/2025 16:44

Just give it some time and let them work their own way through things. There is a whole class of boys and girls, plus other year groups, plus new children may join.

It would be very disruptive to move them again.

WhatNoRaisins · 30/10/2025 16:45

If they are happy I'd be reluctant to move them. Longer term I might look at something like Rainbows if there aren't many girls in the class.

Marylou2 · 30/10/2025 16:50

Is your DD reporting she is unhappy? Is she alone at play/lunch time? If not I'd give it some time. My DD is 19 and still friends with almost all the boys from her nursery/infant class. She went all the way to A level with them and they'll meet up when home from uni. She does have wonderful female friends from high school but I did worry when she was at primary. If your daughter isn't unhappy I'd leave her where she is.

Sholderpad · 30/10/2025 16:51

It's early to be moving for this reason. A lot don't find their friends until a year or two older than this. Then they chop and change multiple times. Is she unhappy?

Sirzy · 30/10/2025 16:52

Is she happy? How do you know she won’t be friends with them?

jelllyontheplate · 30/10/2025 16:54

Why can’t she be friends with any of the boys?

Original poster

ByZippyBlueCrow · 30/10/2025 17:03

i guess there aren’t so many girls and they are very different to her. She has been playing mostly with year 6 children as they seem to have taken her under their wing. She is happy at the moment but when the year 6 leave she won’t have anyone.

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Original poster

ByZippyBlueCrow · 30/10/2025 17:04

She can be friends with the boys. I’m feeling nervous though as I had similar with my son who was mostly friends with girls until year 2 when they no longer were interested and wanted
to just be with their own gender. I’m scared that it will be the same for her.

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Original poster

ByZippyBlueCrow · 30/10/2025 17:06

Sholderpad · 30/10/2025 16:51

It's early to be moving for this reason. A lot don't find their friends until a year or two older than this. Then they chop and change multiple times. Is she unhappy?

She isn’t keen on going to school but that is partly just her.

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mamagogo1 · 30/10/2025 17:06

My dd played with the boys mostly, she’s an adult now, still has many male friends, does a job women literally couldn’t do until recently and plays competitively a sport that has only recently become mainstream for women. As long as she’s happy that’s all that matters

Original poster

ByZippyBlueCrow · 30/10/2025 17:07

Sholderpad · 30/10/2025 16:51

It's early to be moving for this reason. A lot don't find their friends until a year or two older than this. Then they chop and change multiple times. Is she unhappy?

I’m just aware that o have an older son in year 3 so if I were to move them all I should do it sooner rather than later. I also worry that reception is often when you get to know the class through class parties.

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Original poster

ByZippyBlueCrow · 30/10/2025 17:08

mamagogo1 · 30/10/2025 17:06

My dd played with the boys mostly, she’s an adult now, still has many male friends, does a job women literally couldn’t do until recently and plays competitively a sport that has only recently become mainstream for women. As long as she’s happy that’s all that matters

She can play with the boys and I think she does but o worry she is just hanging on to her twin brother and not making friends of her own. Just not much option for her with girls.

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Blackcountryexile · 30/10/2025 17:10

The year six children will be at school until July, which is a long time in the life of a four year old. I think you're projecting and worrying about something that may never happen.
I also think it's too soon to write off all the other girls in the class as not like your daughter. I would suggest that you look into out of school activities such as Rainbows where she can meet other girls.

Beamur · 30/10/2025 17:14

Unless she's unhappy I wouldn't worry. She'll make friends (or not). New kids may start, some may leave.
Their world changes a lot between academic years and as long as your child is enjoying school, don't overly worry about friendship stuff. Ensure they have other social opportunities outside school.
Not every child makes or needs school friends. As long as their experience is positive.
Primary friends rarely continue beyond or outside of primary unless you are living near school friends or parents facilitate.

northernwinds · 30/10/2025 17:15

This can be tricky.

My DS attends a school with around eight to ten children per class and I know one year group has seven boys and one girl. There are mixed years so she will have some other girls in her class but not consistently and could make secondary transition harder.

But if it is just that she hasn’t much in common with the girls in her class, I’d try to persevere. A lot can happen between now and next year and children can change a lot.

Original poster

ByZippyBlueCrow · 30/10/2025 17:18

Beamur · 30/10/2025 17:14

Unless she's unhappy I wouldn't worry. She'll make friends (or not). New kids may start, some may leave.
Their world changes a lot between academic years and as long as your child is enjoying school, don't overly worry about friendship stuff. Ensure they have other social opportunities outside school.
Not every child makes or needs school friends. As long as their experience is positive.
Primary friends rarely continue beyond or outside of primary unless you are living near school friends or parents facilitate.

I hadn’t thought of it like that. I worry she won’t get the same opportunities for parties, sleepovers as her brother and others. But o guess she might not mind. Just makes me sad.

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Original poster

ByZippyBlueCrow · 30/10/2025 17:20

There are 10 girls but two are Muslim and keep to themselves and the others are from different backgrounds and not interested in the same things as my daughter.

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Original poster

ByZippyBlueCrow · 30/10/2025 17:25

mamagogo1 · 30/10/2025 17:06

My dd played with the boys mostly, she’s an adult now, still has many male friends, does a job women literally couldn’t do until recently and plays competitively a sport that has only recently become mainstream for women. As long as she’s happy that’s all that matters

I worry that she is just hanging onto her twin brother though rather than actually making true friendships with the boys.

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Beamur · 30/10/2025 17:28

My DD was at a tiny primary - I don't think there even were 10 other girls! She made friends through other activities - Brownies and Guides was particularly good. She's at Uni now and 4 of her closest friends are from Guides and High School. None from primary.
Parties and sleepovers are much less important than overall happiness/family dynamics.
Do you have family for sleepovers with cousins as an alternative?

Bitzee · 30/10/2025 17:31

Interests change though, reception age kids are highly fickle. If there are 10 girls and 8 would potentially socialise I don’t think that’s terrible so I’d try to encourage friendships by inviting as many as you can round for playdates. A one form entry was always going to have a certain dynamic for twins and I wouldn’t want to move 2 happy children because 1 hasn’t fully settled yet.

Original poster

ByZippyBlueCrow · 30/10/2025 17:40

Beamur · 30/10/2025 17:28

My DD was at a tiny primary - I don't think there even were 10 other girls! She made friends through other activities - Brownies and Guides was particularly good. She's at Uni now and 4 of her closest friends are from Guides and High School. None from primary.
Parties and sleepovers are much less important than overall happiness/family dynamics.
Do you have family for sleepovers with cousins as an alternative?

Annoying all our family cousins and family friends kids are boys. I guess that’s why I’m feeling bit gutted that there aren’t so many girl options at school either.

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Beamur · 30/10/2025 17:46

OP. Feel your pain! Boys everywhere!

minipie · 30/10/2025 17:50

the others are from different backgrounds and not interested in the same things as my daughter

OP please explain further because this smells a bit like thinly disguised snobbery.

What is your DD into and what are they into?

jelllyontheplate · 30/10/2025 19:18

ByZippyBlueCrow · 30/10/2025 17:20

There are 10 girls but two are Muslim and keep to themselves and the others are from different backgrounds and not interested in the same things as my daughter.

Why are you not encouraging your daughter to make friends with people with different interests, from different backgrounds and religions? She might actually like people who are different to her.