DS (9) attacked in class

[manateeandcake]

DS is 9 and in year 5. There is another boy in his class who has SEND issues and whose disruptive behaviour in the classroom has been an issue for at least two years. DS told us recently that this child regularly has "crash outs" and is violent to other kids. Yesterday they were all in the library when DS mentioned he didn't like the Dog Man books. This other boy overheard him and started yelling, then hurled himself on top of DS. DS fought back to get the boy off him and was not hurt.

The whole class was taken into the hall, where a deputy head came and shouted at them all and said "This class is a mess". They were then told they weren't having their marble time (reward time for having a good week). The boy who had jumped on DS was sent home for the rest of the day.

DS's teacher tried to call me that afternoon but I was busy and missed the calls. We've asked for a meeting with the teacher and deputy head next week. I'm angry that 1) the school can't keep my child safe, 2) his and other children's learning is being regularly disrupted, 3) the school uses collective punishment which is unfair and unproductive.

What do you think would be a reasonable response to expect from the school?

Woah. Unless there is other things going on the way this whole situation has been handled is a complete mess. You are absolutely correct that they shouldn’t punish the whole class. You are also correct that the classes learning shouldn’t be disrupted…although that’s easier said than done if this boy is in the wrong setting but has no other options currently.

I’d tell them how horrified you were at the whole class punishment and ask them to confirm, preferably in writing, how they are going to keep your son safe. If the response isn’t good enough I’d go to the governors.

Put it all in writing to the head, formal complaint.

1. Violent incidents in class
2. Shouting from staff
3. Collective punishment

This is very serious, the head should respond quickly.

I would also start thinking about moving schools (just as plan b) because if they are not responsive your main priority is keeping your son out of harm's way.

Dramatic responses aside.. id expect that there is far more going on than the one incident with your son and the other boy. Likely there were issues across the class - hence the intervention and punishment. Talk to the school and clear things up.

Totally unacceptable behaviour. Im all for integrating kids with additional needs in to main stream education. It teacher children we are all different. But it's not acceptable when it results in this. Your poor child. This other boys parents should be hauled into school, their child needs to learn boundaries and right from wrong. School cannot use his additional needs as an excuse. Good luck.

This, but from other threads here, you'll be lambasted for not prioritising the violent child, stealing his education 'he's entitled to to an education and be violent and aggressive, how dare you suggest he shouldn't!!'

Thanks for the responses.

I agree that there was probably more going on with the class than this one incident, but I believe DS's basic account. It was also backed up by his friend who was actually the one who told us (when they were both in the car with DH).

I was very angry when I heard and mentioned moving schools, which unfortunately made DS burst into tears. He is otherwise very happy there and has lots of very good friends so this would be an absolute last resort. I assume as@YellowCrayola says that the boy is in the wrong setting (and I think the school is very aware of this) but the appropriate resources aren't available. I don't know his parents but, from the class WhatsApp group, it seems like his mum is bonkers and thinks the sun shines out of his arse.

I wonder if the teacher this year is having more difficulty in managing the class and that’s why the deputy described them as a mess.

Whole class punishments breed resentment and are counter productive. If this boy has been challenging for the last two years, the school should have devised systems for supporting him and meeting his needs, with advice from other professionals.

When you have the meeting, ask how they are going to keep your child safe, of course. I’d also mention your concern about whole class punishment. Follow up the meeting with an email, recording what was discussed in the meeting and any agreements made and strategies discussed.

It’s good that he has friends and wants to stay in the school, but he has the right, as do the rest of the class, to have a safe learning environment.

I agree with what everyone has said, except ‘the parents shouldn’t be hauled in’. I’m sure they are well aware that their child is in the wrong setting. But what are they supposed to do when this is the set up? The school are handling this badly by not protecting your child and them punishing the whole class for something that is beyond their control. That’s what needs to be raised.

First, I would go to the meeting with an open mind to find out what happened. You may not have the whole story. I’m not saying your son is lying, but he is explaining events through his perspective and at age 9 may not be aware of anything else that was happening leading up to the event or afterwards.
I’d like to know more about the children going into the hall and the deputy shouting. In the school I work in the children may need to be evacuated to somewhere safe whilst the other child is in crisis - could this have happened here?
Why would the deputy say the class was a mess when they were in the hall? Did he mean their classroom? Or were there more behaviour issues happening in the library?

I have disruptive and violent children in my class. I follow good practice, receive CPD on supporting SEND children in class and support plans are in place. However, I’m not superhuman and sometimes children can hurt each other before I can intervene. Some children find mainstream challenging but due to lack of funding there is no money for 1:1 TAs or specialist placement schools. Staff are also on the receiving end of violent outbursts too. I’m not saying that for sympathy, just stating the reality of school these days.

I think the school should suspend the child who is abusive. Or warn him in line to be expelled. He is causing problems not often but often from your words. It depends i think the abusive boy needs counseling.

Oh yikes I would be livid at everyone involved! And whoever jumped my son would now have me as mama bear looking for them.

The unfortunate reality of a system that is so poorly funded and supported.

I wouldn’t be so sure that it was "collective punishment" for something that only involved two children and was only the fault of one of them. It seems much more likely to me that there was more going on, involving other children too, that perhaps your son isn’t aware of.

If your son is a frequent target (and is doing nothing to wind up the other boy), of course it’s not fair on him and I understand your anxiety. However, please be sure you’re not overreacting. Violence is never excusable, but is this child really disrupting the whole class's education significantly?

Unfortunately, no school can promise 100% to "keep your child safe". Even if the violent child had 1:1 support (highly unusual because so expensive), he could attack another child before the supporting adult could do anything about it. He was immediately suspended from school for the rest of the day, which would have involved a conversation with his parent(s) and seems a reasonable consequence.

@anonymoususer9876 Thanks for your perspective. It's likely that it will be just DH going to the meeting as I will probably be at work, but he will definitely go in with an open mind and wanting to hear the school's side of the story. I think it's likely that they were moved to the hall as part of a safety protocol. DS was clear that "This class is a mess!" referred to the class not the room.

I really like the class teacher and assume he is doing his best under very challenging circumstances.

@Samscaff Unfortunately I'm sure this boy's behaviour is disrupting the whole class and has been for some time. Two years ago DS's year 3 teacher told DH that the school was trying to put a plan in place to find another setting for him but clearly that hasn't happened -- I assume due to lack of funding.

Re collective punishment, it's not the first time we've had an issue with it being used. Recently the whole class had all their marbles taken away because of two children talking when they shouldn't have been. The problem is the school has had a very relaxed attitude to discipline and now I think they are trying to tighten up a bit, but every teacher seems to interpret this differently, the children don't know what to expect and there is no consistency.

A member of senior staff shouting from the front at a group for poor behaviour is not something that is to be complained about.

Perhaps, if it was repeatedly directed at one child, but even then, it wouldn't inherently be a problem, such as when the child physically attacked OP's DS.