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Advice please - changing primary school

10 replies

HazelBird · 01/10/2025 23:52

I recently moved to a new area about 4-5 miles from where I previously lived and where my DD7 goes to school. The area I’ve moved to whilst nice is a step down from where I was previously but I just could not afford a house there so made the decision to buy out of area.

Everything so far has been great and we have managed to settle and get ourselves into a good routine. I wasn’t initially bothered about moving schools as DD is very happy and is doing well academically however after speaking to family and local parents in the area they suggested that I consider moving her as it will be better to have friends to go to high school with as none of her current classmates will be going where she does which made sense. DD is also an only child so has no siblings to follow etc

I did some research and the local school has a very good reputation but was oversubscribed. I was advised however to put in an application so that she could be put on the waiting list in case space became available. I didn’t hold out much hope as there were people already ahead of me and months went by (I’d almost forgot), then out of the blue I received a notification from the admissions team at the local council to say a space had become available.

When I told DD, she was very reluctant, and said that she is happy where she is. I half expected it so I spoke to the headteacher who advised us to come in for a visit and said she was very happy for my daughter to be joining them. the visit went ok but I was a bit disappointed in the state of the facilities and couldn’t believe this was the same school that had been talked up so much to me although I know this is not always a reflection of the teaching, just funding. DD was shy and didn’t engage much, which made me feel like I wasn’t doing the right thing as she is normally quite outgoing, but we discussed the benefits of her moving later and arranged a settling in session where she would spend half a day there. She said it was ok but she is just adamant she does not want to go.

I can be quite unsure of myself, so was hoping to get some advice on what others have done or would do in my situation? My gut is saying to keep her where she is based on her feelings and my initial gut feeling but I’m not sure if this will be the best thing long-term. Academically the schools seem to be on par with each other but the facilities at the current school are much better (it’s was fully rebuilt in the last 10 years).

OP posts:
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Iguessicoulddothat · 02/10/2025 07:02

Trust your gut, its not a huge commute at all. She'll make friends easily at secondary school, you can always get her into some local groups to start meeting people.

Kary26 · 02/10/2025 07:19

I would keep her where she is. My daughter was in a primary school with 2 form entry. In secondary school only 1 child ended up in her new group of friends. Usually by Christmas most have completely different friends. It's a time to reinvent themselves so I wouldn't worry about that aspect.

TheNightingalesStarling · 02/10/2025 07:22

Keep her where she is if you don't mind thr drive, put her into local clubs do she gets friends in the new area, and revisit in a year or so when she has roots in the new area as well.

HazelBird · 02/10/2025 20:45

Thank you all for your advice. As I said I can be unsure of myself and didn’t want to regret it.

Now I’ve just got to have the awkward convo with the headteacher!

OP posts:
lollydu · 02/10/2025 21:03

I would keep her where she is if she’s happy. Friendship groups often mix and change at secondary school. We did the exact same thing as you, moved a few miles down the road and my son stayed at his primary school but went to the secondary in the next town with none of his friends. He has been absolutely fine and made lots of friends in year 7. I would recommend putting her into some local clubs maybe brownies or swimming or something so she can meet children from the local area so when it’s time for secondary school she will know a few faces xx

Mumstheword1983 · 03/10/2025 10:14

I agree with the others. I'm a secondary school teacher and my eldest daughter went to a small primary with only 6 girls in her class. And at secondary school she wasn't in their classes and has made a whole new bunch of friends that live 10 miles away and all going great 😃.

If she is happy and settled I would trust this. Good luck!

ButterPiesAreGreat · 03/10/2025 15:48

DS went to a different secondary to all his mates. He knew two girls from primary. He made friends easily. Weirdly, he reconnected with some of his primary mates when he went to sixth form college (there’s a huge one and none of the local schools have sixth forms), and has remained firm friends with them ever since.
DD went to the same school with two girls she was friendly with. They were separated in terms of tutor groups etc, and she built a completely different set of friends.
id definitely stay put if she’s happy. Mine were at primary school two miles from our house, 4-5 miles is not a huge distance unless roads are horrendous.

Mcdhotchoc · 24/04/2026 12:44

I don't think it's awkward. Just let admission know you will be keeping dd where she is and thank them for their help.
As pp please look at brownies or similar locally.

LadyLapsang · 25/04/2026 08:57

Don’t worry about having an awkward conversation with the local authority or school. Your child comes first and she is happy, doing well academically and you are content to support her in doing the school run. There is a saying, let tomorrow worry about tomorrow, so listen to your gut feelings. In the future do look at the secondary admissions policies in the years before secondary transfer so you can take make good choices then.

One thing you can do to support the school and LA is inform them quickly if you don’t want the place so they can offer it to another child who could potentially be out of school.

Lovingapeacefulgarden · 25/04/2026 09:05

Trust your instincts. If she is happy leave her in her current school. I would probably get her involved in some local activities to me local kids.

My oldest initially went to a secondary school all his school friends went to. He hated it so I moved him to a different secondary. He met a new group of friends quickly and settled much better. He felt being away from his old primary school peers was a positive thing (they had a few very bady behaved kids in his year who he was glad to see the back off).

Also i work in secondary schools and very few friendship groups from primary last past the first few month's of secondary so dont over think this situation.

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