Upset about head master’s behaviour

[Maria02]

hi all.i am sorry if i am posting this thread in the wrong place.i am single mum with an 8 years old child.we are not religious and have no religion.but my child attends to the Christian school.i took him to the church today for harvest service.the head master was standing in front of the door and when she saw us, she asked my child when was the last time you attend the church?and my son was confused and a little shy and he answered I can’t remember. He went into them church and I left. I was confused and honestly a little upset about the head master’s question. Am I being reasonable to be upset about her question?

But you were in a church, she didn’t ask him in the classroom when the last time he went to church was. Ok she’s made an assumption, so maybe “have you ever been to church before” might have been better (in the same way you might ask “have you ever been here before” to a child who is visiting anywhere), but it sounds like a friendly question rather than a judgemental one.

Fwiw I am also an atheist and my children have never been to church. The question wouldn’t bother me. I’d have just said “never” and carried on.

You're being pretty sensitive, it was just a question.

Yes, you are being unreasonable and oversensitive. It was a friendly, conversational, small-talk question about the present situation. It wasn't even followed up - with judgement or otherwise.

FYI Headmaster is the term for a male head teacher, not used much these days as Headteacher is preferred.

mmm, I think it heavily depends on tone and normal attitude of the headteacher - if it was a sneery 'and when's the last time YOU went to church' judgy look, narrowed eyes that is obviously very different to a polite smalltalk 'so have you been to a church before/recently?'

Surely if you know the headteacher is male then headmaster is fine and the same for headmistress if female? Anyway I would pay no heed to the comment.

@RaininSummer I didn't say it was preferred by me, as it certainly isn't!

I don’t really think it’s a big deal 🤷🏼‍♀️

Just seems like part of natural, friendly conversation.

The Headteacher was welcoming your child. Please don't be upset. You are seeing a problem where there is none.

Unless there was some sort of tone or implication I'm missing it's just a question isn't it? Like if you went to the beach you could say "when is the last time you came to the beach?" as a conversation starter.

Heads of religious schools are fully aware not everyone at their school practices the religion, I doubt it was a trap.

Some schools if they are of religious dominance, have a quota for accepting children that don’t neccesarily follow the religion,therefore I think the head was asking in case it was unfamiliar for your child and to help the child feel comfortable.

I know when my sons were at school years ago, I was often invited to accompany the class and would explain the mass as it went along and encourage children who were unfamiliar to the service to go for a blessing when the other children went for communion.

Don’t put your child in a religious school then

This. Only the OP will know if this was a friendly comment or a judgmental one.

I think they were just trying to help. The OP was saying headmaster and she to refer to the same person.

But its a woman, so the post was confusing.