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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Individual desk

30 replies

Ruth760 · 16/09/2025 18:22

Hi , looking for advice/ opinions really.

Long story short I was called into my son's school because of an incident that had happened today.
We were told that our 6 year old had told another child that he hated them. Me and my partner were both shocked to be called into a meeting with 2 teachers over this matter. I understand this is not a nice thing for my son to have said however I am a year 1/2 teacher and have heard this said by lots of children , some you would not expect and I regard this as normal behaviour for a 6 year old( obviously we have discussed how this may make people feel)
They then proceeded to tell us he gets angry , doesn't try hard with his work and shouts out so they have moved him to sit alone, they've had to remove him from lessons as he gets angry. When I asked has he ever been physical they said no. However I feel like they are singling him out.

I then asked my son where he sat and he showed me a drawer unit! Yes a drawer unit at the back of the classroom with his name stuck on it. 1 that is his permeant seat it's not a temporary measure and 2 how is he meant to be sitting correctly because his legs have to go to the side, he cannot even tuck his chair in. As a teacher myself I understand children may need to be moved temporarily at a proper table but to me this is completely unreasonable and absurd!

Please let me know what you think about this and what further action I should take. I was so angry at the time I just had to look down to hide that I was about to cry. Thank you

OP posts:

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Thefirstdelicious · 16/09/2025 18:24

You are a teacher of the same year group. You are ideally placed to know what you should do surely?

Octavia64 · 16/09/2025 18:34

It is fairly standard practice to sit kids who exhibit a lot of anger on their own.

this is usually because the anger upsets and intimidates the other kids.

it sounds more like he is singling himself out.

Smartiepants79 · 16/09/2025 18:36

You need to find out exactly what has been going on with him at school. It sounds like his behaviour has been quite challenging and his teacher has run out of patience. What is he doing, how is it being handled and what is the plan to improve things?
What are you going to do in order to support school to support him? As a teacher you know how important it is that you back school up (within reason). If he was behaving like this in your classroom what would you do?

PornOfCopia · 16/09/2025 18:36

I can't comment on the behaviour stuff as I don't have expertise, but sitting him at a drawer unit is awful! He can't be expected to sit there all day and behave when he will very uncomfortable if not in pain.

I would write an urgent email and state your concerns. I would say that a proper desk or other suitable place for him to sit needs to be sorted by the end of tomorrow. If that doesn't happen then escalate to the headteacher (or follow whatever your school complaints procedure is).

Original poster

Ruth760 · 16/09/2025 18:38

What I'm saying is that I would never place a child on a drawer unit to sit and write. It is not fit for writing purposes as a child cannot sit properly. I find this bizarre. I understand he may need to sit alone. But at a drawer unit?

OP posts:

Smartiepants79 · 16/09/2025 18:39

Ruth760 · 16/09/2025 18:38

You are right to question This particular issue but I feel that you’ve maybe got bigger problems here.

KilkennyCats · 16/09/2025 18:39

Maybe your focus needs to be getting to the bottom of his clearly quite extreme behaviour, rather than complaining about the teacher taking steps to alleviate the effects on the class?
A drawer unit to sit at isn’t ideal, though.

hopspot · 16/09/2025 18:40

He shouldn’t have a drawer unit as a desk but other than that he sounds like he’s struggling and also intimidating. I say that as a KS1 teacher too. I would make an appointment to chat with the teacher about his behaviour and how you can support. Do you see any negative behaviour outside of school?

starpatch · 16/09/2025 18:40

To be honest I would move my child to a different school if you feel he is being singled out unfairly. The year 1 set up is likely to academic for him anyway. I would choose a school with a bit more play in the day.

Thefirstdelicious · 16/09/2025 18:49

Smartiepants79 · 16/09/2025 18:39

You are right to question This particular issue but I feel that you’ve maybe got bigger problems here.

Show quote history

Agreed

and the op is focussing in on something really rather trivial when the broader picture is considered

Original poster

Ruth760 · 16/09/2025 18:50

He is not behind , he is age expected and a great reader but he does not thrive to do his best. We do not see behaviour that is angry without being provoked e.g never physical but may shout when his younger siblings are winding him up. Which I would say is normal between siblings.
When talking to him he says a certain child is winding him up which we have mentioned before. This child also scratched his arm at a birthday party deliberately and has been dealt with.
Maybe he's a completely different child at school and I'm being naive, but I don't think sitting at an uncomfortable drawer unit is going to help with his work or relationship with peers.

OP posts:

hopspot · 16/09/2025 22:32

Shouting and and having to be removed from lessons is pretty extreme. I would be asking for a meeting with the SENDCo and class teacher to ask for details.

RedLeggedPartridge · 16/09/2025 22:37

If you are a teacher yourself why are you asking randoms on here? You surely will know more about situations such as these than most others.

VioletandDill · 16/09/2025 22:53

I think you first need to listen to what they're saying and acknowledge that his behaviour is poor at the moment. There's going to be a reason, it doesn't make him a bad child, but he won't make progress with it without you and him taking responsibility. Sticker charts, a pep talk in the morning, talks about his feelings and walking through tricky feelings are all good things.

Also you keep deflecting and talk about children winding him up. Throughout his life, there will be people who wind him up or are even unkind to him. He will have irritating classmates, colleagues, customers, friends and neighbours. It's part of life and not an excuse for disruption and shouting. The drawer unit isn't ideal but the teacher is trying her best for everyone in that class. Work with them.

BreakingBroken · 16/09/2025 23:21

it doesn't sound like the teacher/school is a good fit for your son.
totally unreasonable for a child to sit sideways at a cupboard unit, extremely poor classroom planning.
i'd be looking elsewhere (different class/teacher) or different school.
be open to an ed psych evaluation should there still be anger issues by christmas.

Original poster

Ruth760 · 17/09/2025 02:35

Completely agree if he is having issues this needs to be investigated and what is causing it.

Also it is very different being the class teacher and being a parent to a child in school. You can see it from both sides which is something that was not so clear before having my own children. The world of a 'school parent' has opened my eyes to lots of things.

OP posts:

Legomania · 17/09/2025 09:32

Agree that the drawer unit is not a good solution.

However DS has a friend whose mother claims that his behaviour stems from other people winding him up when in reality (I have seen this in action) he is pretty good at dishing it out and not so good at taking it

Original poster

Ruth760 · 17/09/2025 09:52

Legomania · 17/09/2025 09:32

Agree that the drawer unit is not a good solution.

Yes I agree, I do not think he is innocent. He is probably doing other things we are unaware of. We have had a discussion about this and it seems the smallest thing is 'winding him up' his words not mine, like someone pulling a face or sniggering. So we've talked about ways to manage this and it had been explained that there will always be situations in life where you will meet people who you don't get on with but I really dont know what else to do.
I must add reading my post back I've worded as though he gets angry with other children. This is not the case , he is angry at himself or is he feels something is unfair. However we are working with the school to try to find solutions.

Im not trying to divert from that there are clearly issues with his behaviour ,i just really wanted people's options on the desk situation and probably should have said ' regardless of the reason' he has been moved do people think a drawer unit is acceptable or am I over reacting?

OP posts:

Legomania · 17/09/2025 10:47

I don't think you are overreacting and it would probably also be in the school's interest to let him sit properly as discomfort may be adding to the issue without him consciously realising it. Rightly or wrongly I would expect the fact that you are a teacher to be in your favour when talking to the school.

thunderandlightening35 · 17/09/2025 11:04

He needs a proper table/desk to sit at, surely making him sit all twisted up is going to make him more angry, it would me.
I would insist that he is given somewhere proper to sit - on his own and then deal with the other issues.
I agree that the situation needs to be resolved and sorted, but to me sitting him in an area that is not fit for working at - is for want of a better word - cruel!

hopspot · 17/09/2025 19:30

How does he get angry when he feels things are unfair? What kind of things? How does he react? How does he calm down?

Mercedes519 · 18/09/2025 22:45

This reply has been withdrawn

Message withdrawn - posted on wrong thread

Backtothe90ties · 18/09/2025 22:50

Teacher here. You sound like you get the behaviour stuff to me but as you know it will take time to resolve. Drawer unit is not on. I’d seriously consider moving him if they don’t resolve it asap.

Silvertulips · 18/09/2025 22:56

I don’t think it’s good for him to sit at a drawer desk - that needs resolving.

I would be asking questions in the other kids behaviour - are they singling him out? Is he being teased? Has he made friends?

Can he move into an opposite class? New school?

I only ask as i have seen this before and some teachers do pick in kids they don’t gel with.

herbalteabag · 18/09/2025 23:07

I wouldn't be happy with the drawer unit and would ask to discuss it straight away.
I have spent a lot of time sitting with my legs to the side at a table (I didn't have to but it became a habit) and ended up with pain in my lower back. It also seems unlikely that he will be able to stay in his seat for long if he's uncomfortable.

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