DS so much more angry/harder since school

[sunshinedaises]

I know they hold in their feelings at school and are well behaved and then come home and unleash but my god when does it get better?! It's constant tantrums and screaming and fighting with his brother I'm exhausted. Will things settle? Any advice? His bedtime is between 7-7.30, should I make it earlier?

When DS started school I put him to bed at 6.30 for a good 3 months as he was just exhausted! I also cut right back on activities, he didn’t do anything apart from weekly swimming lessons. We kept weekends low key as well so he could rest. It’s such a long first term and then December is so manic, it really surprised me how much he struggled with it all in terms of tiredness! He’s a normal, pretty high energy boy for the most part so it was unusual for him but it did pass.

My very gently spoken DM said ‘oh they’re all sods until at least Xmas’ when I was dealing with DC1. After DC 2 and DC 3 - I concur.

@MysteriousFalafel thank you I will try putting him down earlier tonight. Could you tell he was tired or was he just acting out more? My ds doesn't seem like he's tired but I assume that's why he could be acting out

7 is actually so early! I would say it’s such a long day for them, I get them being exhausted and cranky and then they get home and they’ve held everything in all day. This is no help. If you it can breathe through a lot of it yourself and keep calm it helps a bit … sometimes…

Put yourself in his shoes, he’s going to need a lot of empathy, stability and support. Starting school is exhausting, confusing and frustrating. By half term he’ll have got himself together to a degree, but the more you can be reflective about the situation the easier it will be.

He may need a little bit of an earlier bed time, less expectations and comforting. It will pass, it’s a big adjustment for everyone.

if he has started coming home exhausted and overwhelmed and unable to regulate you may well be expecting that reaction which is affecting the dynamic. It can make us feel apprehensive and on edge when we are worried about what we are going to need to deal with. Check in with yourself and see if you are holding tension that may be picked up on and make it feel harder to handle.

you’ve got this, it’s going to be ok.