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Original poster

Toilet accidents at school

4 replies

MrsKaty · 15/09/2025 16:39

DS (toilet trained) started school 2 weeks ago and has had toilet accidents 7 days out of the 9 he's been there so far. 6 wee accidents and 2 poo accidents. I know it's normal for there to be some accidents when they start school, but does this seem like a lot?
We spoke to his teacher and they're sending him to the loo 4 or 5 times a day but the accidents are still happening in the afternoon. He doesn't tell anyone or change into his spare clothes (he knows where they are/how to change them etc.), he just stays in the wet/soiled ones. I've asked school how much he drinks and they're saying that he's rarely refilling his water bottle.
We're obviously telling him it doesn't matter and encouraging him to tell someone/get changed but we're confused. When does it become something we need to worry about?
Thanks.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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Teachingagain · 15/09/2025 16:40

I would make a GP appointment to rule of UTI and constipation.

Chocoholic900 · 15/09/2025 18:08

Have you asked him why he isn't going to the toilet? Perhaps need to dig a bit deeper?
Afraid to ask the teacher? (some children can be super confident at home and then quite shy when starting school talking to the new adults) Not quite sure where the toilet is? Worried about locking the door or wants to leave the door open and but other children are seeing him? Doesn't like other children being in there? Doesn't want to leave a toy he is playing with in case someone else takes it when he is in the toilet?

May need to try to gentle prise out what is going on if he doesn't answer your direct questions.
Sometimes cuddly toys are good, pretend the toy is talking and saying something like "when I go to toy school, I wee in my pants because I don't like going to the toilet at toy school because it's too busy with all the other toys in there, I like it quiet like at home. What about you?" and see if he is able to share his reasoning.

Istilldontlikeolives · 15/09/2025 21:14

How long has he been toilet trained? what happens if he needs the toilet at home?

Original poster
MrsKaty · 16/09/2025 16:48

Chocoholic900 · 15/09/2025 18:08

Have you asked him why he isn't going to the toilet? Perhaps need to dig a bit deeper?
Afraid to ask the teacher? (some children can be super confident at home and then quite shy when starting school talking to the new adults) Not quite sure where the toilet is? Worried about locking the door or wants to leave the door open and but other children are seeing him? Doesn't like other children being in there? Doesn't want to leave a toy he is playing with in case someone else takes it when he is in the toilet?

May need to try to gentle prise out what is going on if he doesn't answer your direct questions.
Sometimes cuddly toys are good, pretend the toy is talking and saying something like "when I go to toy school, I wee in my pants because I don't like going to the toilet at toy school because it's too busy with all the other toys in there, I like it quiet like at home. What about you?" and see if he is able to share his reasoning.

Tried this last night (thanks!) and he just said he's not sure why and it just happens. So maybe he's just distracted by all the new things? He can get a bit of toddler tunnel vision (not that he's a toddler anymore 😭). He's come home today dry and clean, so maybe I'm worrying over nothing and it'll lresolve over time.

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