How much homework do you do with your children?

[RobEmily]

I’m wondering how much homework people do at home, not necessarily set work from school, but how much support I guess you give your primary school children at home. And what you do.

When my eldest started school I hadn’t taught her anything, she could just about write her name but knew no letter sounds not really recognise her numbers.

For homework, we did the reading (twice a week) set by school and any the small bits of homework they set, but nothing else as I thought she was little and would be learning at school. She talked incredibly early and is so inquisitive I’d assumed school would be fine for her and no issues were flagged by her pre school or school teachers either.

But by the end of year 1 she had fallen behind in maths and failed the phonics test. I thought perhaps I’d let her down not having taught her more before she started and supporting more along the way - it just always felt like we were playing catch up.

To be honest it took me awhile to accept that she probably just isn’t very academic either as I as a straight A student and assumed my kids would be. But I now realise she has so many wonderful talents that I could never have in art and sport. And I’m always being told how incredibly kind she is.

Now I just want her to do as well as she can and support her to do that as she gets down about not getting the same marks as her friends. So we did a bit more work in year 2 and 3, including getting a tutor, but it became clear there was an issue and she’s just been diagnosed with dyslexia.

Even so, I really felt we could have done more to support her earlier. So when my son started reception I made sure he knew his sounds and was starting to blend before he started and he knew his numbers.

I was amazed at what a breeze it was - with my daughter everything was such an effort to learn, we had to go over it several times before it stuck. But my son was like the sponge.

He’s finished reception and is doing fine. But a few things are bothering me like he constantly gets “b” and “d” confused when reading and I tried a phonics screening test with him and he failed it. I was shocked as we read with him every night and do flash cards of sounds 3-4x a week and he gets them all right.

But in the test there were a lot of similarities with my daughter - he kept missing when it was a diagraph, mixing up long and short vowel sounds or mixing up the letters to make nonsense words real ones when they looked vaguely familiar ie for “itl” he said “little”. All things he doesn’t do in normal reading - but scream dyslexia to me again.

I know I probably shouldn’t, but I feel quite down about it. I just feel we’re going to go through it all again - and again I probably just need to go through the acceptance I did with my daughter. And I know there’s nothing I can do to change that but I just don’t know how to help them or how much I should do work with them.

My son is quite happy to do school work but my daughter most definitely is not. She’s massively struggling with times tables at the moment. We barely did any practice in year 3 because it upset her and I just thought I don’t want to push something when she’s not going to pass the timetable test and make her feel worse about that.

But she came home saying school had mentioned the test and was upset that she might fail it so we agreed to do two games on it a day (a game is 2 mins). She was doing well but it just introduced new timetables she doesn’t know so well and she sits crying through it - her scores have all gone backwards massively even on sums she did know. So I say let’s leave it but then she has hysterics about failing the test.

I really don’t know what to do. I don’t want to force homework and have tears but equally my daughter is constantly comparing herself and wants to do better.

At the moment, she does three homework sessions a week - 1 is a piece set by the tutor and 2 sessions doing TTRS and spelling practice and some maths or English. we try and encourage her to read to us for 10mins every night too.

My son reads to us every night, we do 5 mins of flash cards sounds or tricky words every other day, and then 2x sessions of writing and maths practice a week.

Is this too little, excessive or normal?! And if they need this to keep up at school is that a sign they aren’t doing very well?

I know I shouldn’t compare, but all my friends kids (who are largely between my two in age) are all top of their classes. I know some of my friends do a lot with their kids at home, but most of them have more time than we do as we both work full time.

I guess I just hadn’t realised primary school education was going to require so much input from us and I’m not sure if that’s normal?

Your son has only just finished Reception? Then he hasn't even covered some of the content yet needed to pass the phonics screening in June of Year 1. Don't put so much pressure on him. From what you've said, it sounds like he's doing absolutely fine and I'm sure he'll get there by the end of Year 1. Just keep doing what you're doing, without adding unnecessary pressure through testing him.

There's no need to 'teach' letter sounds before your child starts school (unless they show a particular self-initiated interest in it beforehand) so don't blame yourself for that with your daughter. However, I would always advise parents to read with their Reception child at least 4x per week (ideally daily), as 2x per week isn't enough to develop fluency and puts them at a disadvantage.

Just to add, your children needing to practise reading and maths at home in order to succeed isn't a sign that they're struggling, no. It's normal for children to need to practise at home in order to fully embed skills. Those children who don't read much at home generally fall behind, pretty quickly. School inevitably put in interventions for those children who they know don't receive support at home, but leaving it purely to school is not enough, no. So many think it should be, and refuse to do anything at home, but ultimately it's their children who suffer. Then they blame the school, usually 🙄.

I wouldn't expect a child just out of EYFS to pass the Y1 phonics screening test.

Reading is the gateway to all learning, so I always encourage parents to read with and to their children, and not only at bedtime when kids are tired.

Is this too little, excessive or normal?! It sounds just right.

And if they need this to keep up at school is that a sign they aren’t doing very well?
It is a sign of supportive parents doing well.

I did lots of reading with my dc and helped them to learn phonics, maths, tell the time and timestables when they needed to.
Apart from that, I helped them to develop their interests and a curiosity about the world around them.

Thanks, he didn't know it was a test or even homework. I told him it was a fun game to spot the nonsense words. I appreciate he wouldn't have some sounds for the normal test but I did one that only had sounds in he does know.

I don't agree that children wouldn't pass it at the beginning of year 1. I never did any phonics screening practice tests with my daughter, but when she failed it at the end of the year, her teacher said she had actually passed every single practice test that year. The only one she failed was the actual test. BUT she had scored one less point in every single practice test. So at the start of the year she got 38/40 at the end she got 31/40 and failed. My son got 26/40! And he has read with us every single day without fail since he started school.

I now realise in hindsight her pattern of getting worse on the test was a clue to dyslexia. She wasn't retaining the sounds she had learnt over time. She was also starting to read by guessing a word pattern rather than using phonics, as phonics does not work for dyslexic children.

I realise I'm over reacting to one test, but I can see the pattern emerging in my son's reading. So I guess I'm just feeling a bit deflated that we could be heading for another diagnosis because I know just how exhausting it is for them and us in having to go over everything multiple times just to keep up.

Yes, I realise this now, I just hadn't in Reception I guess. But I'm still not sure what is a normal amount. We read every day, my daughter does times tables every day, my son does numberbots three times a week and flash cards for sounds and tricky words every day. They both do spelling and maths practice two to three times a week.

But to add to that, progress for my daughter is painfully slow even with this work. She has just learnt her 2, 5 and 10 x tables and is now in tears trying her 3x tables. To retain a spelling we have to go over it for several weeks with multisensory games 2-3x a week. She will still probably then forget it in her writing.

Thanks, that's helpful.

I've given more detail above - but interestingly my daughter did pass the phonics screening test at the beginning of year 1, as did most of her class.

The practice I did for my son only included sounds he knows.

What stands out me if that you don’t seem sure about what they should know by each point. You’re testing your son on the phonics screening test but he won’t know half of the phonics yet. Does your school not communicate this with you? Some are better than others. Mixing up b and d at this stage is very common.

The amount of work you’re doing now sounds average for our area. My oldest is in autistic burn out so we’re not doing any at the moment. I’m just hoping I can get her into school.

No, it's definitely not normal for children to achieve a pass mark in the phonics screening at the start of Year 1. A few high fliers might, if they were tested, but there's no benefit in testing so early when they haven't covered all of the phonics code yet. I don't believe 'most of the class' achieved this in September of Year 1 either. How would you even know that? Sounds like hearsay to me.

Are you sure your daughter achieved 38 out of 40 at the beginning of Year 1? Most schools don't even start doing mock tests until February, as it's just not worth it until they've covered all the code. If she did, such a drop over the course of the year is quite alarming and I would definitely be pushing for a dyslexia screening to investigate what might be going on.

Yes, to be fair, it might not have been the beginning of year 1 but I was shown the piece of paper with her falling marks on and the teacher said "the beginning of the year" but she could have meant February.

Her teacher dismissed the result at the end of year 1, but it was a red flag to me. Especially as her score went down to 29/40 at the end of year 2. She has had a dyslexia screening, she is dyslexic.

The school is good at sharing what they are learning so I did a phonics screening for my son that only included sounds he learnt in reception - so up to and including phase 4. We practice all these sounds with flash cards at home so I know he knows them individually.

Thanks re comment on average amount of work. We are in a highly competitive area for grammars so suspect it is probably similar or maybe even below average in our area. I just don't understand how everyone fits it in???

My husband leaves for work at 5:30am, I leave at 7:30am. He gets back at 5pm, I get back at 6:30pm. Youngest in bed at 7pm, eldest 7:30pm. They have clubs three nights a week and we give them Friday nights off... We do homework Wednesday around swimming club, Thursday evening and Saturday on top of times tables and flash cards over breakfast and reading at bed time. I just don't know how to fit more in!!

Sorry, I missed the part of her being diagnosed and just read that you suspected dyslexia. I'm glad she now has a diagnosis as you're right that her dropping marks at that rate was a red flag.

We have a family history of SEN (dyslexia, ADHD, ASB). Although my DC is very bright, they are lagging behind at school.

We read twice daily. They practise their writing at least once a day. They also have a tutor twice a week.

I dread to think what their level would be without the help because they're not on target at the moment.

Thank you for sharing your experience. Can I ask how old your DC is? How do you fit it all in - do some morning and after school?

I think my worry is the same as yours - I keep thinking where would they be if we didn't do extra work!

DC is 7. I started the before & after school reading 2 years ago. Within 6 weeks reading had noticeably started to improve. Writing is proving a LOT harder to improve.

I do it before school (in the car when we've parked before walking to the school gate if we have to - I have a plastic folder with a book, pens etc for writing and usually have something knocking around to read) and after school.

The writing isn't a lot, just a 3 or 4 sentences (used to be one) and I'll correct one aspect of it, maybe a full-stop or capital letters. I also write out a few joined up words to practise the handwriting.

And we read 6 pages of a book before & after school. Usually 3 or 4 sentences per page.

The writing takes between 5 & 10 minutes (depending on concentration) and the reading is easier because there is less opposition to it.

In all honesty, I don't think DC is getting a lot out of school. SEN children without an EHCP get very little support.

It sounds like you are doing plenty of homework/extra work with your children. I wonder if there's some specific guidance for helping children with dyslexia that could be beneficial to you, maybe there would be another way of helping your DD that she might find easier and less stressful? Perhaps ask the school what they do to help her?
With your DS its very good to keep up the reading, that's the most important thing at that age.

I live abroad so by necessity I've had to do a lot of learning at home with my children, so they would learn to read and write in English. With my oldest I did summer school each year from 7 to 11 years old, which was a couple of hours a day of reading, writing, maths, history and various other things. During the school year I didn't do anything though, she had enough homework from school but it was work she could do on her own, only had to help occasionally with maths.
DS I taught to read before he started school and try to do some reading with him every couple of days but its hard to find things he actually wants to read. He just started school this month and has homework most days which I sit with him to do but its nothing difficult yet (I mean yesterday's was colouring in circles to indicate how many syllables were in words, and the day before it was drawing the letter a, though he did struggle with that but that was because he can't bear the sound of pencil on paper)

I think you will find many parents that do nothing and many that do a lot. Every family is different. Some children learn quicker than others and some catch up later. I took the laid back approach the first few years of Primary. We spent hours in the park. Dc did extra curriculars and hw was an afterthought. We did not always do it. But teachers never said anything and they were learning just fine. It was not until eldest wanted to do 11+ that we started to do extra work at home at the end of year 5. And she did well. DS I did not pay much attentiont o academic wise until his teachers commented how well he was doing so I started to pay attention and thought okay maybe he is academic too. With our youngest I am starting early since the other two turned out to be academic and I am wondering if perhaps there is no point when so young and better to just wait until later when they are naturally ready. My older two did just fine this way (excelling even and both going to very sough after academic schools). Youngest just does not seem read so I am going to step back and relax w it all (she is just 5 anyway so plenty of time lol).

I just read about the dyslexic diagnosis, and I think that def plays a part in having to put in extra work.

Not sure what is normal, but does sound like the amount you are doing now is about right.

For your daughter’s times tables, have you tried going back to the beginning and using number link cubes to show her how it works? Or putting the times table to the rhythm of a song? (Numberblocks has some good ones but I’m sure there are others on YouTube). I would try changing up how you are teaching her and see if that helps at all.

Are you aware of Barrington Stoke reading books and Clicker word processing software which has a special spellchecker that makes you work for it a bit to help learn the correct spelling? (I appreciate Year R is too young for clicker on a laptop but if they want to write their own stories etc later it comes into its own). Also consider the (C)BBC touch typing games with animals as if they are dyslexic and you get the EHCP/Occupational Health reports sorted now then they might end up typing more than writing at secondary.