Deferring query

[Babybrain26]

Our child is april born, but was the youngest in the preschool group. The primary school class has the maximum of 30 kids this year. We have to self fund if we want the option of deferring but we can do it. He has made friends in his current year group and they would be starting school in the same class together.

Hes had grommets inserted in june, speech has improved and now ok. Physio has said somw hypermobility, weak core strength and some asymmetry (cant decide left /right handedness for example). OT have noted hes a sensory seeker, but coping with it.

No one else is deferring, his best friend is 6 weeks older. Our older child in the primary school has been bullied this year and the kids mum has spread lies about us and a lot of parents already avoid us because of this. If we defer, even more parents will as their siblings are friends with our youngest and we would be separating them. Im not sure how our youngest would feel in nursery another year without his friends (they'd be walking past the nursery each morning into school.) The primary school teacher has advised we cant repeat years further on once in school but said for the o/t, physio exercises they would try and incorporate them (truthfully i'm not sure how they would have the time). Anyway advice please? Is april 30th too old for deferring? He would be 5years and 4 months starting if we do defer.

If he is the youngest in his preschool group, it's unlikely many more would defer as they couldn't.

The school can't stop you, but you'd have to reapply next year and they could insist you start in Yr1.

Your older child's experience is irrelevant to this situation. You need to seperate them both in your mind.

@Charmatt there will be younger ones in the primary school class, the teacher has confirmed (not deferred). We're NI so his deferred year would remain throughout his school career.

I'm also concerned that if we defer he'll be bullied for it (its a competitive school and with out eldest being bullied for doing well, its in my mind) concerned that if we self fund the additional nursery year to help him, he could be bullied and unhappy anyway as a result.

Also a co worker has a child in the same school and year group (if we dont defer) and they have gossiped about me and my eldest to the other mums, has helped spread the bullies rumours about my child to co workers etc. so seperating their year groups may not be a bad thing, but he would lose his current friends which he would be sad about. I know the pther parents wouldn't keep up a friendship if we deferred.

Nothing you have stated makes me think there is any need to defer. Although it sounds like your son has some additional needs, they are all very 'normal' needs that can and will be accommodated for. The teachers deal with cases like this every year. I honestly see no reason to defer and yes, unless it's a case of extreme SEN, I do think April is too old to be deferring. It would be deferring just because you can, rather than deferring because you need to.

Let your child start school with his friends. I'm sure he'll be absolutely fine.

Most of your arguments seem to be about avoiding adults, there's nothing about your son (who isn't remotely young for the year, perhaps your nursery was full after an Easter intake or something to look that way) needing another year in nursery.

He might need a tiny extra support at the start, but nothing outside normal. April is too extreme, unless you had a really good reason to defer, and you don't.

Your arguments suggest trying to switch school rather than deferring would be better for your children. Easier said than done though.

I have an April born and wouldn’t remotely consider deferring. They would potentially be 18 months older than others in their class. Nothing you’ve said seems a decent reason for keeping him away from his peer group.