Sad

[purpleme12]

I'm feeling so sad about her going to high school

She's been to an induction day and she's been telling me how no one really plays and everyone just huddles in little groups chatting 😢

And been telling me how there's no space outside compared to her school. No space to do gymnastics.

No playground or gym to have fun on 😢

Feel so sad

Anyone else feeling sad

Thanks

She walks home from school sometimes herself.

I always walk her to school and pick her up sometimes still

No playground equipment past infant school? Seriously? So children stop playing at 7 then? Now that is sad. My 7 year old has just left infants and his new junior has a huge playground with a large climbing frame, he can’t wait. The infant school had nothing like that. He is from a school where there are 90 children per year so fairly big. If juniors can’t play then that really is sad.
OP I feel your pain, I’m sad enough my son is moving up to juniors. Good luck x

Totally get it OP. I think it is so sad that people think it is "normal" for 11 year olds to stop playing. And yet they wonder why there is a crisis of non-attendance in schools, why kids' enjoyment of school takes such a steep dive at year 7. My DD went to a secondary school where the boys were expected to play football and the girls were expected to sit around talking. No playing, nowhere to play as the boys would have shouted at them to get out of the way. The girls very quickly became very bitchy as all they had to talk about was other children. Horrible environment, and DD was miserable. She lasted one term before the school refusal got too hard to manage and she stopped going. She's now about to start at a tiny independent school where they play at lunchtime, for a full hour. The year 7, 8 and 9 all play together, imaginary games, tag etc. I know not all kids need this but many of them do. It should be available in all schools for those that need it. Not all children grow up at the same rate.

Our school offer clubs before school at lunchtime and after school. Ours play football at lunch and break time too. There are plenty of opportunities to be active, but senior school kids really aren’t seen doing handstands in the yard.

Thank you

Thank you
Yes I agree
I do have visions of my child refusing school (for different reasons from this thread) which I hope never happens

It's come up again today
There's no space to play and everyone's sitting around in groups chatting
On top of that there's not enough space in the dinner place for everyone for dinner and there's not enough time for dinner either
She 'hates high school'

And no it's not me who's brought any of this up

But to be honest I can see where she's coming from with all these things and what she means.

I don't know how to make these things better

Most schools don’t do one sitting at lunchtime, most Primaries don’t do that never mind Secondaries. And most Secondaries have much shorter lunch breaks than Primaries

I know it's not one sitting.
But she has said that there's still not enough room or time for all the people in that dinner room, from the induction day. She had to wait a bit to sit down after she'd got her food.

I know it might be normal to have shorter breaks at high school but that doesn't make it any easier or better

In year 7 a small group of us decided that we would play elastics/French skipping at lunch time.

The Year 7s let us get on with it.
The year 8/9 made comments of "babies"... until the year 11-13s came rushing round asking to join in. After that we got no more comments. But were very popular with the older girls who would always come and talk to us after that even when we weren't playing elastics.

Do they have gymnastics club, do that for PE? Are there different places to eat? So those opting for sandwich option eat elsewhere?

@purpleme12 You have to accept you cannot make it better - it’s impossible for you to change what the school does. I dislike short lunch breaks and child factories called schools. They don’t have conversation over lunch or a chance to be themselves. I was so lucky that we could afford a private school that valued lunch!

All you can realistically do is try and get her to engage with more lively dc and accept clubs are after school. It’s a case of being pragmatic. My DDs had both lunch and 4 pm clubs but that’s a fairly unusual model in many state schools with a narrow focus. It’s not great that dc cannot be themselves but girls won’t want to be doing gymnastics beyond 11 very much - she needs to find a club and that’s part of the transition to secondary. Life is organised differently. What about a quick run around the school to use up energy? Or a run into school in the morning?

I know I have to accept it
Just can't help feeling sad about it all
And she of course is finding the thought of all that hard.

And I worry about how it'll all go in the future as well

What do you mean? You need to let her grow up.

Yes thanks I realise that
I don't think I can stop her growing up! 😆

I just don't know how the experience of high school's going to go

Yes but she’s still in primary mode. She will transition and find her feet in a different way of doing things. Be proactive about finding clubs and activities. It’s just growing up really and your dd isn’t quite ready so facilitate what she needs elsewhere.

Thank you

Will try think about this

This is the last summer of childhood though so enjoy it.

But you know what op having teens can be brilliant too