Sad about DC starting school

[MaryLouWho]

Hoping someone can help me gain some perspective. My DC starts reception in September and I’m just feeling so sad about it. I’m a teacher and I’ve been working part-time since I returned to work after maternity leave so we’ve spent most of the week together. From September I’ll be back in work every day and I’m going to miss our special time together so much. This week everything feels like the last time we will get to do these things on a day that’s not really busy (like it will be on weekends and holidays). I’m just going to miss DC so much.
My DC is an IVF baby and it was a long journey with miscarriages and multiple attempts so not sure if this impacts things, DC is also my one and only. Of course I’m so grateful I get to do this as at one point I thought I wouldn’t ever have a child, but it doesn’t take away this feeling of sadness that this special time together is coming to an end.
Did anyone else feel the same and it was all fine after a month or so?

Honestly, it'll be fine. I had similar feelings and, actually, I have come to realise that I love her stories about school- she is having experiences with other children that I can't offer, and learning things I can't teach her. Sometimes you have to realise that, scary as it is, a little independence can be a good thing:)

Thank you, I appreciate you responding. Yes, you are right. I’m sure it will be so valuable.

You are right to feel sad. It’s such a special time. Dd2 is 16 and we still reminisce about her lovely pre school years she would have quite happily not gone to school and carried on with our chilled lifestyle together but sadly it had to end.

Be thankful you had that time with her and you will both have lovely memories from it forever.

Of course you'll miss it, but you'll cherish your precious time together all the more when it comes. Yes it will be less frequent soon, but that doesn't mean it won't still be special. The school holidays are a triple blessing for teachers who are parents. Time off work, where you get to enjoy precious family time (especially over the 6 week summer holiday) without having to worry about childcare.

Same, only child, ivf baby. I love our day off together and that's it done now, just heaving busy crowds and expensive holidays for the next 14 years!

I remember feeling the same after mat leave though and of course it was adjustment but there were so many positives. I'm so excited to see what they learn and who their friends are, even if I'm pretty nervous about it all!

Yes I felt the same, similar history to yours. I’m also working in the education sector so really appreciate being able to spend all the holidays together.

Maybe plan how you can create some new special routines and activities - things like reading through her phonics book from school before bed, every Friday you mark the end of the school week and start of the weekend with a particular tea or activity and so on.

I feel the same, it's hard isn't it. I'm actually really quite down about it.

I'd love to know your thoughts about your DC going into the education system knowing what it's like. That's one of my big reservations. I think I'm going to see how she goes but also be open to home education...

Although not sure the relevance of her being ivf baby. My sisters (ex) friend had an ivf baby and used to make similar annoying comments to the effect that everyone else’s run of the mill bog standard babies could take minor risks but hers was a special ivf baby and had cost her thousands….

I get it. I saw a toddler and baby rhyme time happening at the local library and actually cried that my days of doing that with my two are finished.

I struggled so much with this first time round, and now again with my second. But nothing lasts forever..

Honestly you’ll be fine. You’ll enjoy hearing their stories about school, them making new little friends. You’ll enjoy the play dates, you’ll realise that actually 3pm is really early and there is still LOADS of the day left.
If you’re like me you’ll realise you don’t have to go places to have a good time. We quickly cancelled all our expensive memberships to places because we’d rather spend our weekends doing simple things rather than days out.
Yes things change when they start school but not always in a bad way. My kids both LOVE school, my eldest is now moving to secondary in September and I couldn’t be prouder of how she’s embraced and thrived in her primary education. Change is hard, similarly going back to work after Mat leave. But you will get used to it quickly

I was exactly the same, I have three children and when each one, left each stage of their education, I felt really sad! I now have grandchildren and today my youngest granddaughter and grandson, have had their last day at nursery. They start reception in September.
I loved picking them up and hearing about their day. Another milestone finished. But lots of things to come. 🌺

It is obviously dependent on financial and family circumstances but you don’t have to send her. School is opt in, in this country.

I think there is always a tinge of sadness at the passing of one phase and the start of another. But primary school is such an exciting and busy time - you will replace one cadence with another. There is usually something to enjoy about each of their lifestages.

Transitions are always tough but honestly primary school is great. It opens up a whole new world for them to get excited about - shows and certificates and parties, and reading books and so on. My DD missed half of reception and year 1 due to lockdown and I was gutted.

Presumably in this case it's because the option to have more is at best an expensive gamble and at worst a heartbreaking impossibility. (Edited because I realised it might look like I think other babies are replaceable. I meant more like the chance to relive the early years is a one and done for some people whether they like it or not).

I remember feeling that way OP. It passes.

Yes you got there. The implication is your bog standard baby is replaceable so not as valuable as their IVF babies. Which is actually pretty horrifying if you think about it. Think parents need to be quite careful continuing to refer to their children as ivf babies after they are born - sorry but they are no more or less precious than anyone else’s child.

Thank you. I am extremely glad to be a teacher now my son is starting school and will really treasure our time together in the holidays.

Ahh yes, all the crowds moving forward! I am excited for many aspects of school, I’m sure there are many, many wonderful times ahead.

It’s so hard. It was DC’s last day at nursery today and it’s really hit me.

I’m secondary, but I have also thought about home education. Now I’ll be working more hours my plan is to save as we have considered taking some time out to travel with DC, we are both teachers. It depends how school goes ultimately, but it’s definitely a consideration. Before I had DC I couldn’t understand home education, but now I am seeing things through completely different eyes.

So sad, I hadn’t thought about that.

I am able to do some of the picks up but was worried DC would be exhausted, hopefully once they are used to school we can do some fun things in the afternoons.

Really interesting what you said about memberships as we have a couple of those. I can imagine us doing the same and going for the more simple weekends. DC loves to play at home so I want to make sure there is plenty of time for that.

Yes I am going to start saving as much as possible so this can be an option - DC is going to infants so we do have another transition point in the not too distant future.

That must have been tough to miss those years. And you’re right, transitions are hard. I’m sure there are lots of wonderful things ahead, just sad this special time is over.