Sports Day Tears, Anxious quiet 6y/o

[Ondansetron]

Hello Hello,

Sweltering in this heat and thinking what else I could have done better (instead of sleeping!). My academically-able 6y/o has progressively become very anxiety prone when all the attention is on her, she even stops talking (using her voice)!

At Sports Day- she really wanted to participate and had practiced lots with me at home, she does run really well and has a good aim etc. She just was not quick enough to 'start' the races/activities if it makes sense? I could not bear her crying inconsolably (as a result) for so long, so I took her out of the event before it even ended. We walked up to a nice cafe, and chilled out with icecream/drinks/snacks. Then went home and played with her and her brother. The day ended on a really good note. :)

I'm not a sporty person myself so I don't care much for Sports Day, though I would very much like her to enjoy herself if she chose to participate.

I am really not sure what else to do to help her build her resilience and make her feel more self assured. E.g. if someone pushes her or jumps the queue or says something unpleasant she will not respond or take a stand for herself anymore (at school). She goes swimming (but again, e.g she needs someone to accompany her to the pool ladder bit but is otherwise progressing very well), and we've been doing drama club (she has not spoken a word there yet and usually waits for someone to take the lead and then help her join in). I was thinking of recreational gymnastics?

Just thought I'll mention it here in case anyone had tips or tricks or experiences to share? It has been the same for birthday parties/social settings where lots of people are involved.

Many thanks!

Was she crying because she washed doing well? I’d have built up her resilience by telling her she didn’t need to cry about it. It’s not important and it’s just a fun day with her friends where mammy can come and watch. It sounds like she’s built it up to something bigger.

To me, it sounds like you are doing the right things. Exposing her to different activities and supporting her when she needs it. When she’s eight she could try athletics as there are so many different activities there is bound to be something that appeals to her. And her running starts will become epic.

As for asserting herself, I did that by getting my children to do things like ordering their own food in restaurants, going in to the dry cleaners and asking for our items. Certainly when it’s a question they should be answering let them do it. I was at an A level open day at a college and there was someone taking names and ninety percent of the parents answered for their kids. Anyway, doing things like going over to the library assistant and asking for a specific book gives them confidence and shows them that using your voice achieves results.