Hi, looking perhaps for some insight from teachers/anybody in child health.
I have an 8 year old boy in year 3, moving to year 4 September. He is in a large 3 form entry primary school and until recently he was quite happy at school. They’ve generally described him as a worrier, mainly about the pace of the work but no other issues really.
lately he has been refusing to go in to school at the gate. Crying, refusing to leave me. He goes to lots of activities outside of school and we have no problem. He recently went on a camping weekend with his cubs group, no issues at all being away from me
this has become increasingly worse. Initially if I found one of his friends to walk in with he was fine (we drop at the main gate at this school) but now I’m walking him all the way in for a teacher to take him off me crying. School are working with him on anxiety, he’s seeing a family support worker within school and doing an anxiety workshop.
within the last few days he has told me the issue is a boy at school. I know this boy quite well, they were friends in KS1 but they’re not suited as friends, very different kids and should have gone their separate ways. The issue is my son has other friends and this boy doesn’t. My son says he will approach him immediately in the playground and make him play with him one to one and tell everyone else they’re having alone time. My son says he makes him play games he doesn’t want to, cheats the whole time and tells my son he’s rubbish at everything. Tells him to shut up, tells him that if he tries to leave him he will tell the teachers on him. He is significantly taller than my son and he says he will tower over him and scowl at him to scare him. My son says he touches him all the time and he hates it. He feels he has no personal space, he says he feels like he “lives in a tiny box” and if he does get to play with someone else this boy will come over and ruin it.
He says he’s pushed him over twice and kicked him intentionally, he doesn’t name call as such but if my son says he doesn’t want to play he calls him rude over and over again.
the last 2 days my son is declining. He is crying at home, angry. He is physically shaking going in to school. But he will not tell a teacher. He says he doesn’t trust them and they will force them in to a room together to solve the problem and he can’t do that. He says he wants to leave the school. He says nothing can help him, he’s not himself anymore and he will never feel normal again. He says he wishes he never met him and that nobody can understand the feelings in his brain.
I don’t believe that this boy has any idea that what he’s doing is upsetting my son. I think he thinks they’re friends. The teacher has tried to talk to my son today but he won’t open up. I was supposed to have a phone call this afternoon but they didn’t call so I’m yet to explain the extent of it. Has anyone been through similar, can offer advice on next steps etc. thanks