Need advice on school conduct!

[TickyMonster]

Hi! Not sure if there is anyone on here that may be able to help but I thought it was worth a try. It’s a long story so I apologise in advance!

We’re having some problems with my son’s school (he’s 5 and has an autism diagnosis).
He came home from school last week with a bruise and a lump on his forehead, but no accident slip or phone call. I asked him what happened and he said he had bumped it on a post at school, and he told me that he was crying and that he told his teacher and showed her. We’ve had incidences before where he’s not informed his teacher about issues as he does struggle with this due to his autism, so I was really pleased that he had told her.
Anyway, when I dropped him off the following morning I brought this up and said we don’t get an accident slip. We were told that no one was aware he had hurt himself, but my son was with me and said he told his teacher. They asked his teacher (I was waiting in reception at this point) and she said that he didn’t tell her he was hurt. I left it at that as I couldn’t hang around the school all day, but would let my husband know what had been said so we could try and have a meeting after school with them.
We emailed them a few hours later to request a meeting with the Head and didn’t get a reply. When we went to collect him from school my husband saw the Head in passing and asked if we could talk about what had happened, as we were not satisfied after speaking to the school that morning. She told him to speak to the class teacher, which he then did. This is where things begin to escalate. I should probably also mention at this point that my husband is a school governor, and has been for about 18 months, with no issues whatsoever.
He waited until all the kids and parents had gone, then spoke to the teacher and a TA at the classroom door and explained that he feels like we’re being fobbed off and that we’re still none the wiser about how our son managed to hurt himself with no grown ups noticing. His teacher responded by saying that she doesn’t appreciate him calling her a liar (which neither of us had said at any point) and that she can assure us ‘as the adult’ she was not informed that he had been hurt. The conversation went round is circles for a few minutes, until the TA said that we were obviously getting nowhere with the conversation and my husband agreed and left. My husband didn’t raise his voice, he didn’t act aggressively, he is not that kind of person AT ALL, he’s a Labrador type.
When we were walking home my husband received an email from the school saying that he is now not allowed to speak to any of the staff in my son’s class as his behaviour was reported to the Head as being aggressive and intimidating. We were absolutely gobsmacked and my husband is very upset that they have used this accusation as this is simply not true. The email said this is following on from other reports about his behaviour throughout the year. We have NEVER been told or warned about behaviour before, so I have no idea where this has come from! The following morning we received another email regarding his position as a governor from the Head. She has stated that due to the event that happened the day before it is untenable for him to continue as a Governor and that he should resign. She said if he didn’t they would have to hold a meeting (which she specified he would not be allowed to attend) to discuss his removal.
We emailed back asked for details of the previous complaints about his behaviour that she mentioned, she replied to other parts of the email but completely glossed over that part and didn’t divulge a single thing! Their own policy states that an Incident Report should be made and issued to the offending party if someone were to make claims of inappropriate behaviour - we’ve received nothing until now.
We are concerned that the governing board will not be impartial as the Head is the one gunning for my husbands removal and of the 8 governors on the board 4 of them (including the Chair) work at the school! We have emailed the Chair and asked for a meeting, we’re still waiting on a reply 4 days later.
It all seems so shady, like they know they have done wrong and instead of apologising they are trying to silence us. My son would definitely have cried if he hit his head hard enough to leave a bruise and a lump (bruising still hasn’t gone 9 days later) and no one noticed? They have said there was 3 staff in the room at the time, but how could they know that if they don’t know when it happened?
Ultimately, it seems to have been blown completely out of proportion, and the moment I said my son had a bump on the head at school but I hadn’t had a note they were on the defensive.
Do I have enough to make a complaint about the school? And do we have a right to view the alleged complaints that have been made against us? I don’t know where to go from here but I don’t want to give up.
I apologise for any typos in advance, I have had 3 hours sleep and wrote this at 4 in the morning 🤣
Any and all opinions and advice welcome!
Thank you if you made it this far, you deserve a cookie.

Staff can not be chair or vice chair end of.

the 500 hour rule is separate and is about when does a person become a staff governor. You can not have more than a third of staff members on your board. Associates do not count in the quorate.
look on GIAS which is a legal requirement to update.
speak to your clerk to see if the board is legal and who can and can not vote and what options your husband has.

Just to add, op why did you get your DH involved? The situation did not need it. As a governor he needs to consider every interaction with staff. Also, teachers will be more intimidated by parent governors than parents. It’s almost as though you were trying to be intimidating…

He can be removed where his actions warrant removal rather than suspension in exceptional circumstances as a last resort. Depends if the staff felt threatened, undermined, etc

He needs to be aware if removed he is barred from any board for 5 years.

So many parents claim their child would never lie. Children will always give a version of an event that contains information the parent wants to hear. "Did you tell the teacher?" Of course they will say yes, otherwise they know the conversation will be "Why didn't you tell the teacher/I've told you before to tell the teacher/ Next time, tell the teacher/yadda yadda".

Why didn’t your husband book an appointment to meet with the teacher - a professional - rather than the springing on her with your complaints at the end of a busy day?

Is the teacher much younger? I can definitely imagine a young female teacher feeling upset by being questioned unexpectedly by an older male who is also a governor. He may not have raised his voice or shouted but he clearly assumed that the teacher had done something wrong and wouldn’t let it go or the TA wouldn’t have stepped in. Young children are not reliable witnesses. If she was as she says unaware of the bump what is she supposed to say?

the fact remains that my child suffered a head injury and no one even noticed, let alone reported it, which is a safeguarding issue

But if the child didn't tell a teacher and nobody saw the incident, then it's entirely possibly nobody knew.

This thread is extremely identifying though and I would imagine someone from the school will recognise the situation very soon.

I think you have really overreacted to the situation in the first place. And now your husband has made it worse by escalating it so that another member of staff has had to intervene.

Are you now suggesting that both teacher and teaching assistant are lying to the head about the conversation that your husband had with them? If you think that they have lied to the head, why are you so willing to send your child crack to the school? Where members of staff don’t look after the children, then lie to one parent about it, then lie to the other parent and get another person who looks after your child to back them up?

If that’s what you think has happened…then sending your five year old back there just because you can walk there is insanity.

I think it is a bit of an overreaction TBH. I have previously put in an official complaint to a school so I'm not saying the school is always right.

I had similar instances with my son at that age who is currently waiting for a diagnosis for ASD. He would tell me that the teachers knew something had happened or he had told them, but he hadn't actually communicated it in a direct way and the staff clearly hadn't understood. I'm not saying your son is lying, but it may have been some misunderstanding.

I don't think the headteacher should have told you to go back to the class teacher. I don't think it was fair on you or the class teacher.

Absolutely they should have told them to go back to school teacher. This is usual school complaints policy. Head won't have time to look into every minor complaint. I would imagine being a governor the head is also possibly annoyed you tried to ignore the schools complaints policy. It's usually class teacher at first point of call.

Exactly my thoughts and I’m not sure you we have the whole story or at least we only have the glossed version.

We don't get injury slips like when my kid was in nursery so I’m surprised the OP’s school does it in y5. We do get a phone call if needed though.

The OP is indeed going to war for a minor bump with her kid only having one year left. Why?

Cornering the teacher without an appointment and doing the same with the head isn’t acceptable and frankly an abuse of the governor power. OP’s OH isn’t exactly lily white here either. If the TA had to step in to stop the discussion there clearly was an aggression in not letting it go.

And as a parent I wouldn’t want the OH being a governor based on what I have read.

Given that the child has autism I would think a positive, good working relationship with the school and teachers was important. Yet the OP wants to go to war. There is nothing I have read that is a real problem so they need to let it go.

@Itallcomesdowntothis DS is y1. It’s an infant school. However parent governors should not advocate this way for their own child. The op should have queried it but it’s not a big injury and if neither TA or teacher say knew about it, to maintain trust, you hsve to believe them. The GB is poor and needs to be bigger. 4 staff out of 8 doesn’t work snd there’s lots of roles they cannot do in terms of monitoring. So if I was Dad here I’d speak to La and get better trained on school governance. Reading the government guidance is a good start.

It's not the policy in the schools I've worked in. It's also not my experience as a parent. I don't think you can make blanket statements about school policies given they all vary.

@BelliboltI have to say that most schools follow the standard route for complaints. Only if the class teacher cannot sort the issue out satisfactorily, do you escalate to the head. This issue isn’t worth escalating to the head. The op thinks the class teacher is lying and could not be bothered to write a school accident note. The teacher won’t change her story for the head. She didn’t know about the head bump. I believe schools do have to have a complaints policy and it won’t say go to the head immediately. Usually the head is the step between the teacher and the governors in a primary school and it would by handing in a form
detailing the complaint and making an appointment.

Sorry, but I don't agree at all. I've never seen an official school complaints policy that specifies in the first instance you must address the class teacher before you can escalate a complaint. Have you an example of such a policy?

I think that policy would be very difficult to implement. For example if you were putting forward a serious complaint about the conduct of a class teacher, you wouldn't be able to escalate the complaint until you addressed the class teacher directly.

I also have experience as a parent of taking a complaint to the level of a governing board panel. I do understand there are strict processes to follow.

I stand by my original opinion that the head should have not sent them back to the class teacher. If they had not done so it would have saved their staff member from quite an unpleasant experience. Secondly, if the head had reassured the parents that they will look into the matter it would probably have saved the school from the lengthy process of an official complaint. Obviously, the head could have delegated this task to another member of staff.

Schools don't give a shit and anyone that dares question them (especially around not meeting send needs) will be ostracised and bullied ime. The govs will just back the head teacher because most of them are arse lickers just there for the power and status rather than the children (note I said most, not all, there's a few good uns but they usually get seen off....)

As an ex primary teacher and I can confirm that this is sadly accurate. Seen it too many times to count.

@BelliboltYes. Loads! All say resolve with class teacher first if you can. It’s recognised that swift resolution is not always possible and then the parent can complain to the head using the complaints form. I’ve never seen one not saying speak to class teacher first where appropriate.

A complaints policy is a fairly wide ranging document and covers a variety of scenarios. It depends what the complaint is and, of course, if it’s not anything a teacher can resolve, it goes forward as a logged complaint to the head. The op here had a concern and raised it with the teacher - that’s what I have always seen in a policy. That was correct but DH as a governor seems to have gone over the top with accusations. They can escalate to an official complaint but really - what’s the point?

The son is 5 years old. Not in year 5.

Oh dear OP, you've dug yourselves a hole here haven't you.
Maybe a bit more self reflection for the pair of you on why the teacher felt intimidated and why the school were so quick to want to get rid of you?
Sadly I sense from your tone you're more likely to want war, not peace. A strange want given they are the people educating your child.

Sounds like you were heavy handed. Your son bumped his head. Either
he told her, she saw a mark and decided to do nothing - unlikely
He told her part of the story and she didn't realise he had hurt himself
He didn't tell her

Your reaction was to
not believe her expln
Request a meeting with the Head for you a d your husband
Your husband to quiz the teacher again
The ta and teacher to find your husband unpleasant

It doesn't sound great does it.

This para is typical of complaints policies. They look at resolving complaints before a complaint is formalized. It’s sensible. If a complaint is about a teacher often the issue is raised with the teacher first to see if there’s middle ground. No school wants formal complaints every week. Of course it’s sensible to try and resolve an issue with the class teacher first. Occasionally it might not be appropriate. The attached is a para from the complaints policy where I was a governor and is current.

This is government advice on trying to resolve matters informally. This is why the class teacher route is in the policy. I suspect many are LA recommended policies that take account of government advice.

I would like to again mention getting the sendiass team involved

Can your son tell you what the teacher's response was when he told her he'd been hurt? If she responded then she must have heard him, if she didn't respond it's likely she was dealing with someone else and didn't hear him.