Offloading about favouritism

[NeverTeachersPet]

We have an excellent class teacher (teaches Year R and Year 1 together) but my one beef is that she will have her favourites! It's human nature to prefer some people to others, but it's surely of paramount importance to be equitable in your approach to your pupils.

The class has had guinea pigs for about 6 weeks, now half term has come up one child has been selected to take the guinea pigs home and care for them. Before dd even told me who, I could totally have predicted which child [sigh]. I have nothing against the child, I like her and she is delightful (and a friend of dd's) but it would be nice if others occasionally got a look in.

There is only one more opportunity before they move up an academic year (next half term) for a child to take the guinea pigs. I can probably hazard a guess who will be next [double sigh] - perhaps I should run a sweepstake

A fairer approach might have been to draw names out of a hat.

It isn't just the guinea pig issue - same child is chosen for various privileges consistently.

Still I guess it is a good lesson in life for dd!

Nobody else finds this then?

Funny this. Dd had a teacher she got on with really really well in year 6. Dd learnt tons, and had a very good time,but other parents were always complaining about this teacher, accusing her of all sorts. I thought they were just blaming the teacher for their children's problems until I said to my dd "It's funny how you get on in Miss X's class but v and e (dd's friends) don't" DD looked at me as if I was an idiot, and said "But that's because Miss x likes me"!

I think the children are very clear sighted about this sort of thing. Outrageous, though,a nd very hard to complain about without sounding like a 'precious" parent. I do sympathize!

We had this v. badly in dd1's class -- same couple of children chosen to win the Good Book, head girl, school council rep, yadda yadda. Non-coincidentally, both girls had parents who were school governors. Really annoying.

could you suggest the teacher draws names out of a hat?

And if they had had a guinea pig, I guarantee that dd would have brought it home!

Do you know I think I will frogs - I am going to be very bold and approach the teacher and ask her if she can do precisely that (pull names out of a hat). She will probably say something completely withering and give me a 'look' . I'll have to think about what I am going to say very carefully....

It's all very well but dd is a sensitive child - and it was she who pointed out the injustice of it all to me.

Thanks for understanding seeker - you're right too, very difficult to address without appearing a precious parent

I have actually considered getting really involved in the PTA precisely because I know my dd's would get preferential treatment grrr

I'm on the PTA - that's not cut any ice. Have volunteered at school etc....so I don't think that confers any guarantees!

certainly happens at school, same children in the newpaper photos, same parents allowed on school trips......I could go on!

I would start along the lines of:

"dd is upset because she feels that X is being singled out, I'm sure that's not true, but maybe you could consider, yadda yadda."

We had the reverse inasmuch as dd1 was very much not the favoured child of her little group (partly her own fault, she was very lippy) and I did finally approach the teacher in Y6 when every other child in the class had been made monitor or head of something or other, and she was the only one without an official post. Teacher vehemently denied singling out dd1, but did offer her a prefect's role a few weeks after.

Exasperating isn't it

my ds is quite difficult at school (but utterly lovely at home).
He knows the teacher doesn't like him and though I have tried and tried to defend the teacher, it is actually really obvious that he really doesn't like ds.
He came home with a certificate the other day for fantastic science work. I said: ''see, the teacher does appreciate you''. DS sighed and said: ''Mum, this is my first cert this term, everyone else has lhad loads and he only gave it to me because the headteacher told him he had to find something to praise me about.''

Now, this may or may not be true but it's heartbreaking that ds perceives it this way.

My other pet hate is praise notes or awards, which children used to get for particularly good behaviour/effort etc. In fact what happened was that kids who were habitually difficult were given awards for relatively minor acts of goodness (sitting still on the carpet) and were loaded with certificates, while all the kids who were habitually good and unassuming were struggling to scrape together a handful by the end of the year. Used to make me very cross on ds's behalf, that.

Much sympathy NTP, no advice, but just wanted to state that being children of the secretary to the PTA and son of the Chair of Governors never did my sons any favours...

fullmoonfiend....If it is any consolation, 2 of my junior school teachers detested me (and 2 of them utterly loved me), but it didn't really affect my self esteem. I think I just thought that they were odd! Hopefully it won't have any long lasting effect on your ds. Only a couple of months to go for him eh? before he goes up a class

I think my dd's falls below the radar because she is quiet, unassuming and not very academic

A girl in ds's class got 100% for an english test this week. How's this possible? She wrote a story for god's sake!
It's always the same children picked for sports teams at ds's school. It's really annoying. The same kids always get certificates aswell.

It's making me feel quite militant reading these posts.

Is there anything we can do? Goddammit!

I know but sadly the really really nice teacher who seems to like my child (who suffers from a really nasty combination from a teacher's point of view of having vast intelligence combined with slight behavioural/learning problems) is leaving - just when ds would finally have been in his class

Oh ballcocks Fullmoonfiend! That's mighty frustrating

You know, I really don't think that governor's children or PTAer's children get preferential treatment at our school. I think sometimes it might look like that because if, for example, a teacher is choosing parents to go on a school trip, they are likely to choose ones they know, and if you're active on the PTA you're likely to have been knocking round the school a bit. Alos, sometimes people who are doing some gardening or something are allowed to have their children to help - and that might be a bit unfair. But I don't think its really common - or is it?

We can do something. Move them to another school.

That's a bit of an extreme measure though avenanap...

lol, I am gov and on pta - definitely no preferential treatment!

funny thing is my other child is actually far naughtier in a traditional way but hugely popular with the teachers...

Favouritism makes me mad. DDs primary gave out 'best efforts' certificates every month. The same children got them every time. This included the class favourite and the 'naughty' children who possibly had been able to 'behave' on maybe one occasion throughout the month. DD and other 'middle of the roaders' got nothing.